Im BEARY HAPPIE

HAha....

Yes, im happy. It is not the extremely high and excited kind of happiness. Its the feeling of being at the optimal state of happiness. Like a Neutral point. I guess it has been a long long while since I was last able to be in this state. Well... The last time I felt this way was 1999 and before... In singapore I mean. Shall not state the obvious but you all know what I mean lah.

Anyway, I guess I lost my footing after I came back from Bkk. I never really have time to adjust back to my Sg life and that is no good. I guess I lost the optimal point. I was totally lost. I knew something was not right but I cant really pin point. I thought all was good until I finally know what went wrong. I was not ready for myself.

Shi went through so much and wasnt happy cos she doesnt know what she want. She doesnt know how to get what she want. She was lost. Very lost. And she died. And now she live. Living...

It's been a long long while man... And yup.. Im going to stay like that for at least a year... What Cy said makes sense. And Yes... That should be the way.

Im meeting and getting to know more new people this sem. Haha.. It's fun! Im getting closer to my Ra-ou-l Peeps too. Had lunch with Clement and Joe today. Gonna hang out more! And there is the Mummi Jennifer, cannot stop talking once she starts... very cool and steady Ken, Cute Amin whom i havent had the chance to meet in a long while, composed and funny jiani.. Full of rubbish lionel whom I will have to treat him better for more free rides home, Crazy Alicia, always stressed out Amy, Ultimate jenny + very fierce sister Jackie, and now very stress Qin Mei... Ahaha... I Will miss you all.. Dun have much time to spend with you all le... So now I must work more. Its really fun! We laugh more than we cry lah... AHAH in case you are wondering!

Wanna share this with you all... I ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS STORY from my little saviour book : Settling back into the moment - A meditator's inspirational Guide. I value my religion cos it has already been part of my life and I adopt Buddhism cos of its teachings, which focuses on myself, my own actions, my thinking, my happiness and not someone else's.

There is a kind of monkey trap used in Asia. A coconut is hollowed out and attached by a rope to a tree or stake in the ground. At the bottom of the coconut a small slit is made and some sweet food is placed inside. The hole on the bottom of the coconut is just big enough for the monkey to slide in his open hand, but does not allow for a closed fist to pass out. The monkey smells the sweets, reaches in with his hand to grasp the food and is then unable to withdraw it.

The clenched fist wont pass through the opening. When the hunters come, the monkey becomes frantic but cannot get away. There is no one keeping that monkey captive, except the force of its own attachement. All that it has to do is to open the hand. But so strong is the force of greed in the mind that it is a rare monkey which can let go.

It is the desires and clinging in our minds which keep us trapped. All we need to do is to open our hands, let go of ourselves, our attachments and be Free.