Its taking off.
Had the best CNY Dinner this year at this Teochew restaurant yesterday with my colleagues. Treat from the vendor. I have been having a few of these treats and I guess that is the perks of being with this department. HAHA.. The company yesterday was good.. I never laughed so hard for such a long time le... haha.. and moreover it is over scrumptious delicacies. I had the best YU SHENG of my life.. it is a japanese styleone. as in there is wasabi in the premixed sauce and the salad was so good we didnt stop eating. And having dinner with a table of married man.. they are just very funny. Talk about life, wives, role as papa and as an employee.
Here goes the menu:
Raw fish salad
Abalone with Chinese Spinach
Asparagus with scallop
Buddha Jump over the wall (This is the BEST dish of the night)
Garlic baked Lobster
Steam white Promfret Teochew Style (My FAV dish in general)
Fried Noodles
Chilled Harsima with Coconut Juice (I was "forced" to take home the extra 2 servings after dinner)
SO YUMMY.
I need to stop eating!!
Just had a similarly big(in terms of the no.of courses in the meal, but not as exquisite as this)on Mon with another vendor.. This will not do... SO MUCH FOOD!!!! FEEL SO FAT!!! When i went blood donation that day, the doc says my blood pressure is low.. AHAH Im VERY SURE that now my blood pressure has returned to NORMAL if it is not HIGH now
Hmm.. I was thinking about it yesterday. I guess I was pretty lost the past few weeks with regards to my career because I didnt really think about my prospects, as in alternative career after this job. I came into this job before I really spent time thinking things through. I like this job. I enjoy what I am doing and Im excited about it actually when i look at this job. But I got stuck and scared after I began to think further, like what if, things dun turn out the way I expected them to be. And say 2 years later, after that few rounds of rotation, or for some reason, Im not going to stay in the management of this company then what should I do? Where do I go? How can I leverage on my 2 years here to build another career path. When I rotate, I only stay for about 3 months in each department. I am not specialised in anything you see. So the risk is that after two years, if Im not here, I cant really go anywhere and claim that I am experienced in certain areas for at the end of the day, I am a generalist.
BUT
Now i know that at least i am a generalist in a Specialised industry.
Things began to change when i start to have more information about the industry. I was totally new to the marine, offshore and shipping industry. I was afraid that if I stay 2 years here as a generalist, I might be stuck. But now at least I see another path that I can go should things take a turn. I can go into shipbroking and all my 2 years of experience will be relevant.
It is not so much of the details of these decisions but the fact that I needed to know how I can better position myself after 2 years when I am no longer a fresh grad and since I do not have any other experience... I dun wanna be stranded. HAha...
So a word of advice to all of you searching for a job out there... Dun just look at the job that you are applying, think of what happens if say you wanna move on from there, are you still able to move on to do something that is what you want and leverage on ya stay on ya first job because things are very different when you start a job.
Of course before that... Please make sure that you really get the job that you want. That being said. Know what you want. Cos once you start talking to people, you will start to compare. No matter what you will. And if you are not happy with the pay, the jobscope, the company, and you keep hearing people talk about their job, and maybe after a while you realise.. hey... what ya friend is doing is something that you really want afterall... you will be in MISERY. HAHA.. be realistic. You have bills to pay too. And you would also want a job that allows you to progress and that gives you the ability to advance both in terms of increment and fulfilment. Both are equally important.
The biggest advantage as a fresh grad is you HAVE A CHOICE. Make use of that. Cos once you are stuck in a place, a jobscope or a certain industry, you are stuck.
Im now happily enjoying myself in the shipping industry. Cos right now, Im exposed to a spectrum of information the different responsibilities from different departments that i am shouldering makes the whole experience more holistic. Froom ship building, offshore construction of rigs, the way this shipbuilding business is run, the procurement side, finance, business development, HR, marketing to estimating. Im beginning to see the big picture clearer with the small parts coming together. And I am also beginning to see the different business in the marine industry. There is the container business, the logistic shipping, the equipment suppliers, the freight forwarders, the crew taking care of ships, and how the name "captain" is important to a real captain the way "DR" salutation is important to a trained Doctor or PHD holder. There is of course the finance aspect of shipping. And there is the derivatives trader, commodities trader and I realise that banks like maquarie and ABM are pretty involved in that. So if I wanna branch back later into finance. I can.
What excites me most about this industry in the fact that it is extremely international.
Although it is cyclical. It is ok. That was what people who have been in the industry and whom have witnessed a few cycles told me. And there is a need for trained people. They are always short of human capital.
Most importantly, haha.. I think i have less competition here. I dun have to fight until the cows come home with the rest of the peeps for banks, for financial institions for the same jobs. My ship is sailing off now... I sort of know my destination but whether I will really dock there is not for me to say for sure at this point in time. So in the meantime, Im having a good time enjoying the sun, sand, and the sea and having a good time chatting and learning what I can from the captain and his crew...
Though this is a pretty male dominated industry... Im comforted by the fact that we still refer to a ship as "SHE".
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
So the Rainbow has found its colours
Was a little depressed lately. Cos things seem rather bleak. A lot of different aspects of my life didnt quite work out and yesh... I sort of cried myself to sleep last night. I went to bed early, but still I cant sleep. It was an utter disappointment but things are not within my control. I have already done all that I can. And I had a nightmare after that... With mummy... being very very angry with me... for I was defying her and I was crying and crying in my dreams... SIGH.
But its ok now. Im contented with my life now. Once again. Im blessed to be given what I have at this point in time. I shall treasure it and make the best out of it. With regards to my career path.. I see the light.
With regards to work... I see the workload ahead. But, Im happy to feel and get busy once again. I used to complain a lot about not having enough time to sleep, to relax, due to the hectic lifestyle. YOu know what? I cant stand a lifestyle that is too free... AS in like when there is nothing much to do, not much challenges and motivation to keep my day going. AND SO, im happy now.
Wongso told me something about me. It made sense and yup.. haha.. I think there is good and bad in me being like that. I guess I will just have to keep it more good than bad. Thank you you Pai Kaa Boy and sy for listening to me whine and whine... and complain.
AHHA... And chris.. and tracy.. how you guys say reading my blog gives you heart attack. I can be extremely motivated in one entry and totally depressed in another. OK.. Ok.. I will try to keep myself going at an optimal level. HAAH... But that's life mah... full of ups and downs isnt it?
Im trying to adjust myself to my new life. I know and see what I want now. Hmm.. Whether I can get it or not and perhaps I might change my mind after a while. But it doesnt matter cos what matters is now... what matters is the kind of motivation I have now to keep me going.
Really grateful to be have the 3 shipbroker instructors. All the advice that they give not only clears my doubt, it was also an encouragement so strong, I see better what I am in at this point in time and also what lies ahead. It's that ray of hope that is so strong and so addictive.
Not giving up.. no matter how tough im not giving up!!
But its ok now. Im contented with my life now. Once again. Im blessed to be given what I have at this point in time. I shall treasure it and make the best out of it. With regards to my career path.. I see the light.
With regards to work... I see the workload ahead. But, Im happy to feel and get busy once again. I used to complain a lot about not having enough time to sleep, to relax, due to the hectic lifestyle. YOu know what? I cant stand a lifestyle that is too free... AS in like when there is nothing much to do, not much challenges and motivation to keep my day going. AND SO, im happy now.
Wongso told me something about me. It made sense and yup.. haha.. I think there is good and bad in me being like that. I guess I will just have to keep it more good than bad. Thank you you Pai Kaa Boy and sy for listening to me whine and whine... and complain.
AHHA... And chris.. and tracy.. how you guys say reading my blog gives you heart attack. I can be extremely motivated in one entry and totally depressed in another. OK.. Ok.. I will try to keep myself going at an optimal level. HAAH... But that's life mah... full of ups and downs isnt it?
Im trying to adjust myself to my new life. I know and see what I want now. Hmm.. Whether I can get it or not and perhaps I might change my mind after a while. But it doesnt matter cos what matters is now... what matters is the kind of motivation I have now to keep me going.
Really grateful to be have the 3 shipbroker instructors. All the advice that they give not only clears my doubt, it was also an encouragement so strong, I see better what I am in at this point in time and also what lies ahead. It's that ray of hope that is so strong and so addictive.
Not giving up.. no matter how tough im not giving up!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Happie Birthday DEAREST SHIYING!!
My Sincere apologies SY!!! For not dropping you an sms, for not making sure that a parcel containing the very prettie things you deserve for spending 23 years on earth reached you on the 24th and for not ringing you and singing you a happie Birthday Song.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARIE!!!
Im not sure how you have spent ya birthday but I do hope that you have a splendid celebration! Even if you dun have a crowd, I do hope that you enjoyed every moment of that time on this joyous occassion.
I really miss you here back home.
When i look at the namaste blog and saw the video, the pictures of Nepal, I cant help but think of you. When I feel like just chilling out at J8 now I would immediately wanna call you but I cant cos you are not around!! I cant just do all the crazy things, eat all the crazy food or even hang out at a nice coffee place to chit chat and talk about life and what nots... like the way we enjoyed our time together in Ho chi Minh city cos you are not around!!
I have one less person to whine and complain to, to tell me straight in the face firmly about what I should and should not do.
BUT SY!!
Wait for me in Hong Kong. Wait for me in Macau.
I will be there for sure! We can continue our Quest to travel and see the world the "SHI" way... haah...
Maybe Sy, when the time comes, and the opportunity arise, we shall go visit JY in Seoul and have a very good time together!!!
Its amazing and rare to be able to find buddies, life buddies like you. We know when to stay close and hang out. We know when to give each other time and privacy and even when we simply dun contact each other for a weeks, we are still strong as ever. We see each other's dream, we pull each other on. That is something I find in JY and you that I will hold so dearly and will always keep it close to heart.
Have a smashing birthday, though a bit belated SY!!
Lots and LOTS of Luv
Shi
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARIE!!!
Im not sure how you have spent ya birthday but I do hope that you have a splendid celebration! Even if you dun have a crowd, I do hope that you enjoyed every moment of that time on this joyous occassion.
I really miss you here back home.
When i look at the namaste blog and saw the video, the pictures of Nepal, I cant help but think of you. When I feel like just chilling out at J8 now I would immediately wanna call you but I cant cos you are not around!! I cant just do all the crazy things, eat all the crazy food or even hang out at a nice coffee place to chit chat and talk about life and what nots... like the way we enjoyed our time together in Ho chi Minh city cos you are not around!!
I have one less person to whine and complain to, to tell me straight in the face firmly about what I should and should not do.
BUT SY!!
Wait for me in Hong Kong. Wait for me in Macau.
I will be there for sure! We can continue our Quest to travel and see the world the "SHI" way... haah...
Maybe Sy, when the time comes, and the opportunity arise, we shall go visit JY in Seoul and have a very good time together!!!
Its amazing and rare to be able to find buddies, life buddies like you. We know when to stay close and hang out. We know when to give each other time and privacy and even when we simply dun contact each other for a weeks, we are still strong as ever. We see each other's dream, we pull each other on. That is something I find in JY and you that I will hold so dearly and will always keep it close to heart.
Have a smashing birthday, though a bit belated SY!!
Lots and LOTS of Luv
Shi
Let me Share an Old Buddha Story
Ok. Do not shut off, move away or skip it simply cos you are not a Buddhist. If I chance upon a old jesus story from my readings I would post it too. After all, we are in a multi-racial multi-religion society. And its always very interesting to be talking about religion with my 4 other babes... we have islam, christianity and buddhism in exchange and we never flip tables, we never not talk to each other again cos we are all open to the different views, stories, and teachings.
Here goes:
The Buddha and a monk were approaching a river and saw a woman washing some clothes along the banks. As they reached her, she asked if they could help her ford the river.
"Ah, we are sorry, kind lady, " said the monk. " You know a monk is not allowed to touch a woman."
But the Buddha, having compassion for her, offered to carry her on his back and, lifting her, proceeded to wade across the water. He put her down on the opposite bank. She thanked him profusely, and the two men went on their way. Walking in silence, the Buddha realised the monk was upset.
"What is wrong, brother?" he asked.
"Lord, you know we have taken vows and are not supposed to touch woman," and the Buddha replied, "yes, I did pick her up and carry her across the river. But there I put her down. You, however, are still carrying her."
Here goes:
The Buddha and a monk were approaching a river and saw a woman washing some clothes along the banks. As they reached her, she asked if they could help her ford the river.
"Ah, we are sorry, kind lady, " said the monk. " You know a monk is not allowed to touch a woman."
But the Buddha, having compassion for her, offered to carry her on his back and, lifting her, proceeded to wade across the water. He put her down on the opposite bank. She thanked him profusely, and the two men went on their way. Walking in silence, the Buddha realised the monk was upset.
"What is wrong, brother?" he asked.
"Lord, you know we have taken vows and are not supposed to touch woman," and the Buddha replied, "yes, I did pick her up and carry her across the river. But there I put her down. You, however, are still carrying her."
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Patience
Do not be driven to actions by our desires.
If we don't have the ability to be patient, every desire which comes into our minds compels us to action and we stay bound on the wheel of craving.
No One Is going to do it for us.
No one can enlighten another being.
The Buddha's enlightenment solved his problem, it didnt solve ours... except to point out the way to us.
Each of us have to walk the path to ourselves.
Unless we make the effort to persevere, nothing happens.
EFFORT is the root of all achievements, the foundation of all attainments.
If we don't have the ability to be patient, every desire which comes into our minds compels us to action and we stay bound on the wheel of craving.
No One Is going to do it for us.
No one can enlighten another being.
The Buddha's enlightenment solved his problem, it didnt solve ours... except to point out the way to us.
Each of us have to walk the path to ourselves.
Unless we make the effort to persevere, nothing happens.
EFFORT is the root of all achievements, the foundation of all attainments.
Feel so blessed... Contention brings Happiness
Yes. That is exactly how i feel now.
Thank you for insisting that I went over to your place that day. Otherwise, I would certainly have slumped into that state of depression like I used to. Thank god I managed to not get caught in the whirlings of the mind. And because of that, I know it is getting easier. Easier by the day.
Thank you for making sure that I sleep early on most nights. It is a simple SMS but it means a lot. And for the effort and willingness to send me an SMS each morning just in case Im still sleeping.
Thank you for the companionship.
Thank you for letting me have a say in where to go and what to do.
Thank you for being my Play Partner. -> A touch to Zen, Titoudao, Phantom of the Opera. I am so looking forward to that.
Its the giving, so unconditionally that touches me. To feel taken care of again. To feel so well protected. To feel that im being cared for so much.
THANK YOU all of you. For that, I shall make sure that I SHARE THE LOVE TOO!!
Thank you for insisting that I went over to your place that day. Otherwise, I would certainly have slumped into that state of depression like I used to. Thank god I managed to not get caught in the whirlings of the mind. And because of that, I know it is getting easier. Easier by the day.
Thank you for making sure that I sleep early on most nights. It is a simple SMS but it means a lot. And for the effort and willingness to send me an SMS each morning just in case Im still sleeping.
Thank you for the companionship.
Thank you for letting me have a say in where to go and what to do.
Thank you for being my Play Partner. -> A touch to Zen, Titoudao, Phantom of the Opera. I am so looking forward to that.
Its the giving, so unconditionally that touches me. To feel taken care of again. To feel so well protected. To feel that im being cared for so much.
THANK YOU all of you. For that, I shall make sure that I SHARE THE LOVE TOO!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
On the 2nd day of CNY
Strange... the TV is playing Thai songs.
Met cousin's thai wife yesterday, haha... I can now converse basic thai with her. So cute.
"Poot thai Dai mai?"
" Poot thai Dai, nit noi ka"
"Chan mai chai Kon Thai, poot thai mai dai"
HAha..
HAd a hearty brunch with mummy and papa. Its good to see them enjoying each other's company. I wanted to help out with Reunion dinner preparation on sat but i dun think I should interrupt them though mummy was grumbling that I shouldnt be doing any last min shopping when they are in dire need of help.
Its the 2nd meal in a very long time that I had in this kitchen. Its nice to have mummy cooked a meal for me. I missed home cooked food so much. It's also been a while since I last had a meal with just mummy and papa.
Im tired. So tired.
Forlorn.
Adrenalin high.
Its this state of knowing that im not well, yet, im not that unwell.
Butterflies in my stomach.
I need some time.
Met cousin's thai wife yesterday, haha... I can now converse basic thai with her. So cute.
"Poot thai Dai mai?"
" Poot thai Dai, nit noi ka"
"Chan mai chai Kon Thai, poot thai mai dai"
HAha..
HAd a hearty brunch with mummy and papa. Its good to see them enjoying each other's company. I wanted to help out with Reunion dinner preparation on sat but i dun think I should interrupt them though mummy was grumbling that I shouldnt be doing any last min shopping when they are in dire need of help.
Its the 2nd meal in a very long time that I had in this kitchen. Its nice to have mummy cooked a meal for me. I missed home cooked food so much. It's also been a while since I last had a meal with just mummy and papa.
Im tired. So tired.
Forlorn.
Adrenalin high.
Its this state of knowing that im not well, yet, im not that unwell.
Butterflies in my stomach.
I need some time.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Great Way to start my new year
Happy to have at least talked to him. For some strange reason I keep missing the chance to. But each time I do, I feel better. I have to speak up more. And not keep things to myself too much I guess.
Time to focus on the right things.
I can.
I am not ready though Im hoping to find the right one soon. I know im not ready. So I guess I better not try. Stay passive. The most important thing is to keep myself happy. To try to minimise the desires in all forms. I must stay very firm and focused.
Brian's advice was that all that comes very fast will go away very fast too. And it is important for young people to endure and to be patient. I guess I have to be patient this GOLDEN PIG YEAR.
Im just looking for the right footing to take off. I know this is a phase. Once I do, I will be able to go far and wide. At least, in terms of my emotional and spiritual development. Im waiting for my career to take off too. I feel like i just arrived at the airport, not knowing which flight or where I will be heading. I only know that I have about a year before my plane takes off. So I guess in the meantime, I can only get myself ready for the journey ahead. Making sure that regardless of which flight or where I will be heading, I have the ability to take off well.
I wanna visit the yard the next time I fly to the China side and not just stay in the office. I wanna see the real thing.
I am so looking forward to my Hong Kong trip in middle of the year. It is an important trip for me. I really need a getaway soon. I miss being overseas again. Somehow i do feel that staying in Singapore inevitably means i have a lot of emotional burden to handle. When im away, Im alone with myself. I do miss home but at least, things are simpler. Me and ME. I love that feeling. I miss reading in a nice cafe overseas. Just enjoying a drink. Buying books, watching people come and go. Think about life. Laugh about the past, dream about the future. And be reminded once again of the precious things in life to treasure at present.
I need to know what I want. Otherwise, I will never be really happy. Cos I wouldnt know that what I have is what I want. And if I dunno that, I would not be contented. And if I have something that I dun want, I will be unhappy. That is not the way. SO, in order for me to be happy, when im lost now, I just need to go and understand and find out what I want exactly. At least if I dun have it, I can wait. And If I get it, I will be thrilled. It is a pain to be hanging in between something, somewhere. I hate this sort of ambiguity.
ANYWAY!
OINK OINK!!
Time to focus on the right things.
I can.
I am not ready though Im hoping to find the right one soon. I know im not ready. So I guess I better not try. Stay passive. The most important thing is to keep myself happy. To try to minimise the desires in all forms. I must stay very firm and focused.
Brian's advice was that all that comes very fast will go away very fast too. And it is important for young people to endure and to be patient. I guess I have to be patient this GOLDEN PIG YEAR.
Im just looking for the right footing to take off. I know this is a phase. Once I do, I will be able to go far and wide. At least, in terms of my emotional and spiritual development. Im waiting for my career to take off too. I feel like i just arrived at the airport, not knowing which flight or where I will be heading. I only know that I have about a year before my plane takes off. So I guess in the meantime, I can only get myself ready for the journey ahead. Making sure that regardless of which flight or where I will be heading, I have the ability to take off well.
I wanna visit the yard the next time I fly to the China side and not just stay in the office. I wanna see the real thing.
I am so looking forward to my Hong Kong trip in middle of the year. It is an important trip for me. I really need a getaway soon. I miss being overseas again. Somehow i do feel that staying in Singapore inevitably means i have a lot of emotional burden to handle. When im away, Im alone with myself. I do miss home but at least, things are simpler. Me and ME. I love that feeling. I miss reading in a nice cafe overseas. Just enjoying a drink. Buying books, watching people come and go. Think about life. Laugh about the past, dream about the future. And be reminded once again of the precious things in life to treasure at present.
I need to know what I want. Otherwise, I will never be really happy. Cos I wouldnt know that what I have is what I want. And if I dunno that, I would not be contented. And if I have something that I dun want, I will be unhappy. That is not the way. SO, in order for me to be happy, when im lost now, I just need to go and understand and find out what I want exactly. At least if I dun have it, I can wait. And If I get it, I will be thrilled. It is a pain to be hanging in between something, somewhere. I hate this sort of ambiguity.
ANYWAY!
OINK OINK!!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Oh my...
Im losing it again. I know. Im scared. Very scared. I have been holding back all these while, was strong, but i think, i have lost it once again. It hurts. I think i will never move on unless i really put myselt to it. I have to make this decision firm and fast. For myself and no one else. I can do it. I will do it. I have to do it. There is only one way - the right way, at least, the path to happiness. Im not sure if i have found the truth. The meaning well, naturally becomes vague. Happiness? Transient but addictive.
I dunno what i want. But im very clear about what I dun want. But, these days, I havent been fair to myself. I have been neglecting that inner self, baring it, exposing it to risk again. Im sorry. Really sorry. I guess I havent been taking good care of myself. I guess right now, i have once again lost my footing.
Its painful. So painful.
I dunno what i want. But im very clear about what I dun want. But, these days, I havent been fair to myself. I have been neglecting that inner self, baring it, exposing it to risk again. Im sorry. Really sorry. I guess I havent been taking good care of myself. I guess right now, i have once again lost my footing.
Its painful. So painful.
On Shipping
It was one of the most painful mondays that I have had in the office. On top of the mon blues, my severe lack of sleep. I nodded to sleep a few times and each time I woke up in shock. And I hoped no one saw that. But each time I woke up the moment I felt my eyes closed. I was reading the notes from my class and so yah.. and the office is damn quiet, and I was DAMN SLEEPY...
After i manage to pull through the day at the office, I told myself that I really should go home and rest. But I already told Wongso that Im going to collect my Tennis racquet from him and the fact that he had been lugging them around the whole time wouldnt justify him bringing them back. So i decided to go get my book and racquet from him and have dinner plus have a quick meet up with Chis. HAHA
I was craving for the Mr Bean Tau Hway so I stopped at SESS to buy, still flashing my old SMU pass for discount. aHAH... And GUESS WHO I MET?>? LYNETTE TEO!!! Woah... so cute and sweet lor.. she was on her way to meet her EGG TART FRESH FROM HONG KONG. Egg tart spoil market(this was said on behalf of all Singaporean man). AHHA.... HE Flew all the way here for these two days just to meet up with his sweetie pie and celebrate VALENTINES DAY. WOAH.... SO SWEET LOR!!!! Tsk Tsk....
Anyway... After dinner, after i bidded goodbye to Chris, and was walking past SOB towards the MRT station, I caught wongso at the lobby. Haha.. Ok, he left me and chris first after dinner cos it was time for class and i told him that Im not going. And he was there at the lobby and I he told me today's topic was on the sale and purchase... WOAH... HOW CAN I MISS THIS CLASS. And so I decided to go and attend the class. Guess what? I manage to still use my SMU PASS. This clearly means one thing, I am not cleared for graduation yet. Im not sure to be happy or not leh, cos this means that i can still go to the Gym. And it doesnt really make a difference whether Im cleared for graduation this round or next round since commencement would be the same anyway...
SO!!! Today's class is so interesting. I got to know and understand a lot more on the sale and purchase of ships on the second hand market, where the market is indeed more vibrant. And I got to know so much more about RON's life as a shipbroker. He gets like 2.5k emails a day. Yes... And he needs to speed read a lot of information first thing in the morning cos he has to know the market the moment someone calls him even before he takes his first sip of KOPI.
He said a lot about the his life as a shipbroker, what he does, like how he works till like 1am every day. ITs very hectic but he said that he looks forward to the excitement and new challenges in his life everyday.
And I went to speak to him. He told me that it is a good stepping stone for me to start off and learn all that I can now in my company. In the even that I want to go into ship broking next time, I would be an asset now that I have a rather holistic understanding and knowledge of the business. Im pretty happy now because now at least I see another path that motivates me equally well in the industry other than me doing or going to do what im doing. I wouldnt feel that I might be stuck. I see another great opportunity awaits. Anyway, Rons says that the the industry is always in need of people. So... Im glad to be here at this point in time, and I truly feel very blessed to be given the opportunity to experience all for myself. To get the job, to know that somene is paying attention to my career path, to be able to join this class and learn so so much. It is really so exciting that, I thought by the time it was like 1030pm just now I should be already sound asleep regardless of my location and what I was doing. Instead, I was wide awake and totally excited and motivated about my work now. Im so motivated to learn everything well. It all makes so much sense. The forum from the trade fair, the classes, the things i learnt at work, everything is tying together really well. Learning hasnt been more fun. When you learn the theories, and you see it immediately at work.
Anyway, I have to make sure i master the shipping language well. It speaks a language of its own. Ron says i must make sure I am techinically sound, not as sound as an engineer, but sound enough to go out and clinch deal. I would certainly look forward to become a shipbroker like him if I feel that after sometime that I might get some mid life career crisis. I would be staying in the shipping industry for sometime from now for sure though....
After i manage to pull through the day at the office, I told myself that I really should go home and rest. But I already told Wongso that Im going to collect my Tennis racquet from him and the fact that he had been lugging them around the whole time wouldnt justify him bringing them back. So i decided to go get my book and racquet from him and have dinner plus have a quick meet up with Chis. HAHA
I was craving for the Mr Bean Tau Hway so I stopped at SESS to buy, still flashing my old SMU pass for discount. aHAH... And GUESS WHO I MET?>? LYNETTE TEO!!! Woah... so cute and sweet lor.. she was on her way to meet her EGG TART FRESH FROM HONG KONG. Egg tart spoil market(this was said on behalf of all Singaporean man). AHHA.... HE Flew all the way here for these two days just to meet up with his sweetie pie and celebrate VALENTINES DAY. WOAH.... SO SWEET LOR!!!! Tsk Tsk....
Anyway... After dinner, after i bidded goodbye to Chris, and was walking past SOB towards the MRT station, I caught wongso at the lobby. Haha.. Ok, he left me and chris first after dinner cos it was time for class and i told him that Im not going. And he was there at the lobby and I he told me today's topic was on the sale and purchase... WOAH... HOW CAN I MISS THIS CLASS. And so I decided to go and attend the class. Guess what? I manage to still use my SMU PASS. This clearly means one thing, I am not cleared for graduation yet. Im not sure to be happy or not leh, cos this means that i can still go to the Gym. And it doesnt really make a difference whether Im cleared for graduation this round or next round since commencement would be the same anyway...
SO!!! Today's class is so interesting. I got to know and understand a lot more on the sale and purchase of ships on the second hand market, where the market is indeed more vibrant. And I got to know so much more about RON's life as a shipbroker. He gets like 2.5k emails a day. Yes... And he needs to speed read a lot of information first thing in the morning cos he has to know the market the moment someone calls him even before he takes his first sip of KOPI.
He said a lot about the his life as a shipbroker, what he does, like how he works till like 1am every day. ITs very hectic but he said that he looks forward to the excitement and new challenges in his life everyday.
And I went to speak to him. He told me that it is a good stepping stone for me to start off and learn all that I can now in my company. In the even that I want to go into ship broking next time, I would be an asset now that I have a rather holistic understanding and knowledge of the business. Im pretty happy now because now at least I see another path that motivates me equally well in the industry other than me doing or going to do what im doing. I wouldnt feel that I might be stuck. I see another great opportunity awaits. Anyway, Rons says that the the industry is always in need of people. So... Im glad to be here at this point in time, and I truly feel very blessed to be given the opportunity to experience all for myself. To get the job, to know that somene is paying attention to my career path, to be able to join this class and learn so so much. It is really so exciting that, I thought by the time it was like 1030pm just now I should be already sound asleep regardless of my location and what I was doing. Instead, I was wide awake and totally excited and motivated about my work now. Im so motivated to learn everything well. It all makes so much sense. The forum from the trade fair, the classes, the things i learnt at work, everything is tying together really well. Learning hasnt been more fun. When you learn the theories, and you see it immediately at work.
Anyway, I have to make sure i master the shipping language well. It speaks a language of its own. Ron says i must make sure I am techinically sound, not as sound as an engineer, but sound enough to go out and clinch deal. I would certainly look forward to become a shipbroker like him if I feel that after sometime that I might get some mid life career crisis. I would be staying in the shipping industry for sometime from now for sure though....
Monday, February 12, 2007
GONG XI GONG XI
Now that I have done my fair share of squeezing past the crowds @ Chinatown, im really getting myself into the CNY mood. Hey I bought some nice ang baos cos this year will mark the beginning of me having to give Ang baos to my parents. And since this is my year (year of pig) I couldnt resist the temptation to buy that two cutie piggies to decorate my bed and for me to cuddle. Will post these piggie pigs soon. I think my CNY clothes shopping is 80% done. All completed last sat. AHha...
Oh, and my Virgin experience of collecting a brand new car was given away to XZ!! Ahaha.. Its something new. And he couldnt get used to the new car and keeps sending the windscreen wipers moving when he was trying to turn on the signal lights. HAHaha.... I wonder when the day would come for me to go collect mine. Wait till I get my Driver license first.
Im looking forward to the Mahjong sessions. Im looking forward to all the visitings. And the meet up with friends. And even the company CNY lunch. The movie after that... HAhaha...
BEARY EXCITED!!!
And HAhaah.... I won!! No need to eat prata this weekend for CNY. Mummy say that I WILL GET TO EAT THE WHITE PROMFRET STEAMED TEO CHEW STYLE THIS YEAR!!! YAY.... That is my favourite fish. Anything else dun matter. AHAHA
Oh, and my Virgin experience of collecting a brand new car was given away to XZ!! Ahaha.. Its something new. And he couldnt get used to the new car and keeps sending the windscreen wipers moving when he was trying to turn on the signal lights. HAHaha.... I wonder when the day would come for me to go collect mine. Wait till I get my Driver license first.
Im looking forward to the Mahjong sessions. Im looking forward to all the visitings. And the meet up with friends. And even the company CNY lunch. The movie after that... HAhaha...
BEARY EXCITED!!!
And HAhaah.... I won!! No need to eat prata this weekend for CNY. Mummy say that I WILL GET TO EAT THE WHITE PROMFRET STEAMED TEO CHEW STYLE THIS YEAR!!! YAY.... That is my favourite fish. Anything else dun matter. AHAHA
Sunday, February 11, 2007
A silly me
HAha... Peeps, I wanted to blog since a long time ago. And I didnt cos I thought Singtel decided to terminate my broadband cos of my late bills. And I was a little upset over the thought of having to pay the reactivation fees etc... and the fact that i have to call them up and go through all the hassle of why i paid my internet bills late.
BUT
What actually happenend, and I only found out after i walked around my room, for about 40 min, with my lappie trying to sense some good, hot wireless spot like what I used to do in the past, was that this morning, i realised that my hp isnt charging though i had it connected to the charger for a long time. HAHA... And only then, did i realise that actually, my main switch was loose... HAHAH.. Woah, i wondered who sneaked into my room to remove that main plug and never put it back properly cos I would never have touched it. Prime suspect: PaPa.
Anyway.. HAHA.. and so im back here blogging. HAPPILY.
You know what, these few days of thinking that I had no connections at home left me to keep myself occupied with other stuffs, more productive and intellectually orgasimic. HAAHHA.. what a word but true.
FIRST OF ALL, LET ME COMPLAIN!!!!!!!
Papa walked into my room yesterday and announced... the key here is ANNOUNCED...
he said that this year, out of the fact that they are bored and sick and tired of having to go through the hassle of cooking, preparing and after that a big round of washing for reunion dinner, he SAID that THEY have decided to have eat prata for reunion dinner at Thomson and he ask me if i wanna join THEM.
WOAH!!!!!!!!
First of all, I ask him who is "THEY", they he say he and mummy. THEN I WAS LIKE! ISNT THIS A REUNION DINNER? and you ask me if I had want to join you all? if not I join my other aunties meh? CANNOT BE WHAT!!!!
That is not it.
I WANT A PROPER REUNION DINNER THIS YEAR!!! IM going to complain to mummy. At least make her eat out at some other restaurant, CHINESE FOOD!!! I WAITED ONE WHOLE YEAR FOR THIS REUNION DINNER AND NOW THEY WANNA EAT PRATA?
LAst year this time in bangkok.. There wasnt much of a CNY mood. I remembered VIVIDLY... the day we were suppose to have reunion dinner, I was at my apartment with JY, and then we decided to go to Jeff's room, with Sebastian from Germany join us while we watch some VCD that we rented from the frontdesk. I HAD Pizza from pizza company, microwaved Jeff's Bah Kwa and tried to ration the Bengawan Solo's Pineapple tarts!!!! And I remembered how i missed CNY in singapore. I MISS A proper reunion dinner with family. And How I really just am lookin forward to the reunion dinner to welcome the arrival of the year of pig, MY YEAR!!!!
and so.. now you tell me we go eat PRATA...
*SOB*
Im running late. Running late... Family day today. I shall go appeal to mummy. Im sure she, too, remembered how she misses me when i wasnt around last year for CNY. I think I will win. HAAHH....
BUT
What actually happenend, and I only found out after i walked around my room, for about 40 min, with my lappie trying to sense some good, hot wireless spot like what I used to do in the past, was that this morning, i realised that my hp isnt charging though i had it connected to the charger for a long time. HAHA... And only then, did i realise that actually, my main switch was loose... HAHAH.. Woah, i wondered who sneaked into my room to remove that main plug and never put it back properly cos I would never have touched it. Prime suspect: PaPa.
Anyway.. HAHA.. and so im back here blogging. HAPPILY.
You know what, these few days of thinking that I had no connections at home left me to keep myself occupied with other stuffs, more productive and intellectually orgasimic. HAAHHA.. what a word but true.
FIRST OF ALL, LET ME COMPLAIN!!!!!!!
Papa walked into my room yesterday and announced... the key here is ANNOUNCED...
he said that this year, out of the fact that they are bored and sick and tired of having to go through the hassle of cooking, preparing and after that a big round of washing for reunion dinner, he SAID that THEY have decided to have eat prata for reunion dinner at Thomson and he ask me if i wanna join THEM.
WOAH!!!!!!!!
First of all, I ask him who is "THEY", they he say he and mummy. THEN I WAS LIKE! ISNT THIS A REUNION DINNER? and you ask me if I had want to join you all? if not I join my other aunties meh? CANNOT BE WHAT!!!!
That is not it.
I WANT A PROPER REUNION DINNER THIS YEAR!!! IM going to complain to mummy. At least make her eat out at some other restaurant, CHINESE FOOD!!! I WAITED ONE WHOLE YEAR FOR THIS REUNION DINNER AND NOW THEY WANNA EAT PRATA?
LAst year this time in bangkok.. There wasnt much of a CNY mood. I remembered VIVIDLY... the day we were suppose to have reunion dinner, I was at my apartment with JY, and then we decided to go to Jeff's room, with Sebastian from Germany join us while we watch some VCD that we rented from the frontdesk. I HAD Pizza from pizza company, microwaved Jeff's Bah Kwa and tried to ration the Bengawan Solo's Pineapple tarts!!!! And I remembered how i missed CNY in singapore. I MISS A proper reunion dinner with family. And How I really just am lookin forward to the reunion dinner to welcome the arrival of the year of pig, MY YEAR!!!!
and so.. now you tell me we go eat PRATA...
*SOB*
Im running late. Running late... Family day today. I shall go appeal to mummy. Im sure she, too, remembered how she misses me when i wasnt around last year for CNY. I think I will win. HAAHH....
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Life is Beautiful
After last friday, I have seen certain things clean. I was rather disgusted. But I learn. Still am learning but I swear, Im not going to settle for less. I have at the same time seen how sweet and how terrible things can be. Its ok. I learnt.
When all the peeps around me are showering me with so much care and concern, the extent, the effort, the sincerity have all touched my life.
Wanna thank XZ for trying so hard to cheer me up yesterday. Going shopping with me though he has no business in all the ladies' department. For participating, contributing and waiting. Not outside the shop, or in another shop, but beside me. And even flipping through the clothes for me. HAHA. For having dinner with me, to eat the La Mien that I have been craving for a week and no one else in the office wants to eat but I was rather addicted to it.
And A, though he didnt know that I was still a little moody, but he was damn nice too. The lunch was terrific!! Couldnt have been better. And well, the other event was impromptu but I cant mention it here. Most importantly for staying with me through the forum and going through everything in the exhibition. The chat was great. Its nice to have different peeps that you can talk to, like sincerely about things, about career, about even play other than work. And for taking care of me always...
And Wongso, for being so sleepy already.. yet, never fail to make me laugh and yet again, listen to me make my same promise of " Last one" but only you know better. HAHAAH... and the nice and simple dinner. The view was terrific. Whenever I see cranes, ships etc, I do get a little emotional. But really, thank you for making me feel more confident, for helping me realise that I am still holding on to a lot of beautiful stuff.
Its all platonic. Its all out of the heart. There is no demand. There is no agenda. There is no calculation. From my favour calculator, they all suffered a tremendous loss. I never have to ask for anything. They did it from their heart. Im touched. Very touched. Life is not about finding out how much people can contribute to your success, how much people can be of use to you, how much people can help you. Start living your life with other people's welfare in mind, putting yourself in other people's shoe too.
读书好， 不如做事好， 做事好， 不如做人好。
Grades, salary, designation, at the end of the day, do people judge you based on all these? No. Its only whether you are a good person or not. You do bad, you suffer, it is only a matter of time. You do good you may not see the good anytime soon, but you know, at least, that you feel good. That is all that matters. Life is beyond what you see and hear. Use the heart to feel. Think with the heart sometimes. Cos that is what brings people to the greatest height to achieve the unattainable. At the very least, that is how one individual touches and motivates another. And that is I believe, one of the most beautiful things in life. There is no one governing the favour bank but we all know it exist. Sometimes you deposit into other's account, sometimes you withdraw. But you never have a chance to touch ya own account. You only get to see the balance. How much people deposit into yours depends on how far and how much you allow them to withdraw. There is a limit like all things but the fundamental stays.
I never stopped believing in some of the most precious things I hold in life. I never changed my idea of how things should be. I stopped. Merely because I was forced to and I know there is no other way in which I could be happier at this point in time. But I never will change what I believe and see with regards to this for Im just going to wait, until the day comes and with my same set of believes, I will find my true happiness. When I have seen the best, I will not settle for less. Never will.
The truth is surfacing, right in my face. All I need is some wisdom to get by. Its tough. But I will. And now, Im beginning to understand myself more. Much more.
I do hope to get there one day. I know its all been planned somehow. And I will wait. Patiently. All good things are worth waiting. Transient things dun last. Never will. SO I will wait. Im optimistic about that. Life Is beautiful!!!!! Only cos I believe it to be so.
When all the peeps around me are showering me with so much care and concern, the extent, the effort, the sincerity have all touched my life.
Wanna thank XZ for trying so hard to cheer me up yesterday. Going shopping with me though he has no business in all the ladies' department. For participating, contributing and waiting. Not outside the shop, or in another shop, but beside me. And even flipping through the clothes for me. HAHA. For having dinner with me, to eat the La Mien that I have been craving for a week and no one else in the office wants to eat but I was rather addicted to it.
And A, though he didnt know that I was still a little moody, but he was damn nice too. The lunch was terrific!! Couldnt have been better. And well, the other event was impromptu but I cant mention it here. Most importantly for staying with me through the forum and going through everything in the exhibition. The chat was great. Its nice to have different peeps that you can talk to, like sincerely about things, about career, about even play other than work. And for taking care of me always...
And Wongso, for being so sleepy already.. yet, never fail to make me laugh and yet again, listen to me make my same promise of " Last one" but only you know better. HAHAAH... and the nice and simple dinner. The view was terrific. Whenever I see cranes, ships etc, I do get a little emotional. But really, thank you for making me feel more confident, for helping me realise that I am still holding on to a lot of beautiful stuff.
Its all platonic. Its all out of the heart. There is no demand. There is no agenda. There is no calculation. From my favour calculator, they all suffered a tremendous loss. I never have to ask for anything. They did it from their heart. Im touched. Very touched. Life is not about finding out how much people can contribute to your success, how much people can be of use to you, how much people can help you. Start living your life with other people's welfare in mind, putting yourself in other people's shoe too.
读书好， 不如做事好， 做事好， 不如做人好。
Grades, salary, designation, at the end of the day, do people judge you based on all these? No. Its only whether you are a good person or not. You do bad, you suffer, it is only a matter of time. You do good you may not see the good anytime soon, but you know, at least, that you feel good. That is all that matters. Life is beyond what you see and hear. Use the heart to feel. Think with the heart sometimes. Cos that is what brings people to the greatest height to achieve the unattainable. At the very least, that is how one individual touches and motivates another. And that is I believe, one of the most beautiful things in life. There is no one governing the favour bank but we all know it exist. Sometimes you deposit into other's account, sometimes you withdraw. But you never have a chance to touch ya own account. You only get to see the balance. How much people deposit into yours depends on how far and how much you allow them to withdraw. There is a limit like all things but the fundamental stays.
I never stopped believing in some of the most precious things I hold in life. I never changed my idea of how things should be. I stopped. Merely because I was forced to and I know there is no other way in which I could be happier at this point in time. But I never will change what I believe and see with regards to this for Im just going to wait, until the day comes and with my same set of believes, I will find my true happiness. When I have seen the best, I will not settle for less. Never will.
The truth is surfacing, right in my face. All I need is some wisdom to get by. Its tough. But I will. And now, Im beginning to understand myself more. Much more.
I do hope to get there one day. I know its all been planned somehow. And I will wait. Patiently. All good things are worth waiting. Transient things dun last. Never will. SO I will wait. Im optimistic about that. Life Is beautiful!!!!! Only cos I believe it to be so.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars!!!
I Finally got myself together again.
I Didnt really know how it happened but it did, finally, at around 5 today in the office. I was feeling the monday blues this morning. In fact, I was still extremely moody, it was mon black. And without thinking, I wore a black top with my black pants, carried my black bag and wore my black heels. That was the only outfit that I knew fitted how I felt this morning.
But Early in the morning, even b4 I reached my sit, M saw me and told me he needed to talk to me. Im glad, happy that he is concerned about how I was doing and if Im happy. I was pretty touched. But I guess cos I was still a bit moody, I didnt really feel that happy still. Usually I would be showing my sunflower smile but then... today, the smile was not to be found.
Another issue cropped up during lunch. I was so sian. Utterly lor. A promise that was forgotten. Hmm... Im not like utterly upset or what, im just disappointed. A bit. Yah. Cos i was so full of hope. Rather, I thought that was what I have been told all these while. Hmm.. Its ok..the promise will come, just a little later. Still, he is DA BEST!!! So encouraging, always care about what I feel and place my interest at heart. Not all the time but at least, I know he cares, and that is enough and that is all I could ever ask for. Im still very grateful that he really spend time thinking about my welfare, took care of me, despite his busy schedule. And he has a nice sense of humor. His quick comments are usually the funniest. ahaha... So funny. Anyway, deep in my heart, I am grateful to him. Thank you!
In life, it doesnt take much to sense and see another person's heart. The sincerity, the attitude, the spirit, the warmth, and of course, the hack care, superficiality, everything, good or bad, all can be felt. So, my advice is, make sure you treat everyone with one true heart. Do what you should and can, and mean everything that you say. You dun need a lot of brains or age to tell if someone is real or not. If someone has you in their heart or not. It is all very straightforward. The heart is smart. Very smart!!
Im happy to be going for the forum tom. Just happy. Im excited about it cos it is not easy to have such a big scale event plus talk around. I mean I have been trying my best to learn about the industy, now that such a trade show is organised... I am just thrilled to go and take a look.
I was lost. Cos I lost the boundaries. Now I got them back clear again. So, with that wisdom, Im moving on well again.
Talking about Wisdom, tranquility, compassion, truth, Happiness - I think it is time I get back to my DaLai Lama books. I havent been getting in touch with my Buddhism for sometime. I have been seeking emotional solace from the philosophical stories of Paulo coelho and also from all the readings of other books. I think I should go get back to my religion, and then Im going to embark on a journey to read about other religions. PC talks about a fair share of different religions too actually. And I liked that.
Like what yao said, "When its time to believe Allah, he will, when its time to think Buddhism he will, when it is time to follow the jesus, he will too". HAHA.. I agree. I like that style.
I always believe we dun belong to a religion. A religion is to be part of our lives. And for me, I adopt parts of the religion that I believe in and of which I think fits into my life best. So far, buddhism has serve me well, Whenever Im trapped somewhere, Im reminded of the importance of being wise, knowing the truth, being compassionate, and at the end of everything, remember that, karma is recalculated.
I got part of my wisdom back and will continue to build on that!!
GOOD NIGHTIE EVERYONE!!! I MISS ALL THE Friends!!! ALL of you!!!
I Didnt really know how it happened but it did, finally, at around 5 today in the office. I was feeling the monday blues this morning. In fact, I was still extremely moody, it was mon black. And without thinking, I wore a black top with my black pants, carried my black bag and wore my black heels. That was the only outfit that I knew fitted how I felt this morning.
But Early in the morning, even b4 I reached my sit, M saw me and told me he needed to talk to me. Im glad, happy that he is concerned about how I was doing and if Im happy. I was pretty touched. But I guess cos I was still a bit moody, I didnt really feel that happy still. Usually I would be showing my sunflower smile but then... today, the smile was not to be found.
Another issue cropped up during lunch. I was so sian. Utterly lor. A promise that was forgotten. Hmm... Im not like utterly upset or what, im just disappointed. A bit. Yah. Cos i was so full of hope. Rather, I thought that was what I have been told all these while. Hmm.. Its ok..the promise will come, just a little later. Still, he is DA BEST!!! So encouraging, always care about what I feel and place my interest at heart. Not all the time but at least, I know he cares, and that is enough and that is all I could ever ask for. Im still very grateful that he really spend time thinking about my welfare, took care of me, despite his busy schedule. And he has a nice sense of humor. His quick comments are usually the funniest. ahaha... So funny. Anyway, deep in my heart, I am grateful to him. Thank you!
In life, it doesnt take much to sense and see another person's heart. The sincerity, the attitude, the spirit, the warmth, and of course, the hack care, superficiality, everything, good or bad, all can be felt. So, my advice is, make sure you treat everyone with one true heart. Do what you should and can, and mean everything that you say. You dun need a lot of brains or age to tell if someone is real or not. If someone has you in their heart or not. It is all very straightforward. The heart is smart. Very smart!!
Im happy to be going for the forum tom. Just happy. Im excited about it cos it is not easy to have such a big scale event plus talk around. I mean I have been trying my best to learn about the industy, now that such a trade show is organised... I am just thrilled to go and take a look.
I was lost. Cos I lost the boundaries. Now I got them back clear again. So, with that wisdom, Im moving on well again.
Talking about Wisdom, tranquility, compassion, truth, Happiness - I think it is time I get back to my DaLai Lama books. I havent been getting in touch with my Buddhism for sometime. I have been seeking emotional solace from the philosophical stories of Paulo coelho and also from all the readings of other books. I think I should go get back to my religion, and then Im going to embark on a journey to read about other religions. PC talks about a fair share of different religions too actually. And I liked that.
Like what yao said, "When its time to believe Allah, he will, when its time to think Buddhism he will, when it is time to follow the jesus, he will too". HAHA.. I agree. I like that style.
I always believe we dun belong to a religion. A religion is to be part of our lives. And for me, I adopt parts of the religion that I believe in and of which I think fits into my life best. So far, buddhism has serve me well, Whenever Im trapped somewhere, Im reminded of the importance of being wise, knowing the truth, being compassionate, and at the end of everything, remember that, karma is recalculated.
I got part of my wisdom back and will continue to build on that!!
GOOD NIGHTIE EVERYONE!!! I MISS ALL THE Friends!!! ALL of you!!!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
First Bouquet to kick start 2007!
I was told that I look more like a "sunflower" girl than a "rose" girl. Haha.. Never had such a big Lunar Birthday Celebration. Thank you for the cake, the flowers and the card!
I need a HUG
I hate this feeling. It sucks.
I miss my girlfriends. All of you!
It's not that there was one major event that left me so depressed. It is the accumulation of everything.. here and there.. That adds up to me feeling the way I do now. I feel so lost. So lost. All the negative feelings that i have been bottling all these while are spilling over now.
At this juncture, I cant see anything clearly. And worst of all, things seem bleak.
Im waiting yes I am. But I am, by nature, an impatient soul. And so, every moment feels like a Day. Im scared. Cos it seems like things that I have always believed in might have to change.. Or the fact that it seems like things are no longer going to be the same. That uncertainty, scares me. And there is the different relationships to manage. Arrgghh.. And I value relationships.. so arrgghhh...
And Im just EXTREMELY pissed off with the Biz camp thingy that i heard. The bitch and the jerk. I have never called anyone a bitch in my whole life. And this is the first and that is cos there is no other person who deserves the name more than her. Plus that disgusting chap. They make a good couple. God bless all those around them. But i think god should simply bless them to change to be a better man. It is really bad karma. What goes around comes around. Im sure allah would agree too.. hahah.. 3 religions. ANyway.. ya.. ok NVM, they are not worth it. Forget it.
Ok. Enough of me losing my footing. I will get it back. pull myself together... it didnt help that my first facial left my face now red with swollen patches. Sigh... I know it is for a better tom. Now it looks a bit scary. OK can. For a more PREtty Face.... THE PAIN and money should be worth it. HOPEFULLY!!!
CNY is here soon. I havent even got down to buying new clothes. Sigh. Im depressed!!!!!
HUG. I NEED HUGs. LOADs of them.
I miss my girlfriends. All of you!
It's not that there was one major event that left me so depressed. It is the accumulation of everything.. here and there.. That adds up to me feeling the way I do now. I feel so lost. So lost. All the negative feelings that i have been bottling all these while are spilling over now.
At this juncture, I cant see anything clearly. And worst of all, things seem bleak.
Im waiting yes I am. But I am, by nature, an impatient soul. And so, every moment feels like a Day. Im scared. Cos it seems like things that I have always believed in might have to change.. Or the fact that it seems like things are no longer going to be the same. That uncertainty, scares me. And there is the different relationships to manage. Arrgghh.. And I value relationships.. so arrgghhh...
And Im just EXTREMELY pissed off with the Biz camp thingy that i heard. The bitch and the jerk. I have never called anyone a bitch in my whole life. And this is the first and that is cos there is no other person who deserves the name more than her. Plus that disgusting chap. They make a good couple. God bless all those around them. But i think god should simply bless them to change to be a better man. It is really bad karma. What goes around comes around. Im sure allah would agree too.. hahah.. 3 religions. ANyway.. ya.. ok NVM, they are not worth it. Forget it.
Ok. Enough of me losing my footing. I will get it back. pull myself together... it didnt help that my first facial left my face now red with swollen patches. Sigh... I know it is for a better tom. Now it looks a bit scary. OK can. For a more PREtty Face.... THE PAIN and money should be worth it. HOPEFULLY!!!
CNY is here soon. I havent even got down to buying new clothes. Sigh. Im depressed!!!!!
HUG. I NEED HUGs. LOADs of them.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Silent Reverie
MOS was superb last sat.
Dancing with a group of peeps with GREAT Camaradarie. AHAH So fun!!!
Who was there?
Carman, Monica, Jennifer, Dorcas, and Lizzie. HAAHAHH... Laughed so much. Danced so hard. It was a great way to work out. Dorcas makes a good dancing partner. Muahahahah.... Wanna go again soon. Always fun. I miss you all man... Waiting for JEn can be so fun. AHHAHA and all our crap.
And talking about dancing... MY BELOVED JY!!!!!!
I miss you BIG TIME MAN!!!
Ms JY is doing an internship @ Hilton Hotel, Seoul. All the best girl. I hope that your dreams come true. And please keep the promise that you made in the email!!! I will be able to verify that when i visit Seoul. Mahahaha.... I MISS YOU!!!! And the next time you become part of the big hotels, I will be just damn happy when i can visit Seoul and stay in BIg hotel @ ya staff rate.. AHAH though I would prefer staying in ya house and fill myself with unlimited Kim chih from ya mum. I miss ya mum's foodie... ARRGGHHH My cravings for korean food was so bad i had to go to FAR EAST shopping centre to eat, even when i was at Food republic. BUT.. each time i eat korean food, I am always reminded of those time the 4 of us had @ that korean restaurant at ARI, if i remember correctly in Bangkok. WOAH. I MISS JUNE AND PUM TOO!!!! Last year's VDAY we all spent together @ MK restaurant. SO GOOD!!! IF ONly.... SIGH
And next up, After JY, is SY!!!!
Girl... I miss you too!! YOu must be having a ton of fun in HK. When you asked me time and time again, what i want from taiwan.. I was like.. I want XXL Chicken and Oyster Mee sua.. BUT HOW? Must enjoy ya exchange to the fullest. It is once in a lifetime thing. Never ever will you have a chance to do that again. And yes.. I know, you are not used to being overseas without me. ANd you know what, im not used to being in Singapore without you too!!!
MEt up with Miau finally... SOrry, for leaving you out in the past. It wasnt intentional.
Went to Acid with Yao. Nice catching up. Talk and Talk and Talk nonstop. AHHA... No matter how often we meet, it seems we always have unfinish stuff to talk about. GOOD BUDDIE!!! It was a nice little celebration for my Lunar birthday. Though it wasnt planned. Nice and simple. Thank you for all the well wishes.
In the ARms of the ANgels... FAR AWAY FROM HERE....
Dancing with a group of peeps with GREAT Camaradarie. AHAH So fun!!!
Who was there?
Carman, Monica, Jennifer, Dorcas, and Lizzie. HAAHAHH... Laughed so much. Danced so hard. It was a great way to work out. Dorcas makes a good dancing partner. Muahahahah.... Wanna go again soon. Always fun. I miss you all man... Waiting for JEn can be so fun. AHHAHA and all our crap.
And talking about dancing... MY BELOVED JY!!!!!!
I miss you BIG TIME MAN!!!
Ms JY is doing an internship @ Hilton Hotel, Seoul. All the best girl. I hope that your dreams come true. And please keep the promise that you made in the email!!! I will be able to verify that when i visit Seoul. Mahahaha.... I MISS YOU!!!! And the next time you become part of the big hotels, I will be just damn happy when i can visit Seoul and stay in BIg hotel @ ya staff rate.. AHAH though I would prefer staying in ya house and fill myself with unlimited Kim chih from ya mum. I miss ya mum's foodie... ARRGGHHH My cravings for korean food was so bad i had to go to FAR EAST shopping centre to eat, even when i was at Food republic. BUT.. each time i eat korean food, I am always reminded of those time the 4 of us had @ that korean restaurant at ARI, if i remember correctly in Bangkok. WOAH. I MISS JUNE AND PUM TOO!!!! Last year's VDAY we all spent together @ MK restaurant. SO GOOD!!! IF ONly.... SIGH
And next up, After JY, is SY!!!!
Girl... I miss you too!! YOu must be having a ton of fun in HK. When you asked me time and time again, what i want from taiwan.. I was like.. I want XXL Chicken and Oyster Mee sua.. BUT HOW? Must enjoy ya exchange to the fullest. It is once in a lifetime thing. Never ever will you have a chance to do that again. And yes.. I know, you are not used to being overseas without me. ANd you know what, im not used to being in Singapore without you too!!!
MEt up with Miau finally... SOrry, for leaving you out in the past. It wasnt intentional.
Went to Acid with Yao. Nice catching up. Talk and Talk and Talk nonstop. AHHA... No matter how often we meet, it seems we always have unfinish stuff to talk about. GOOD BUDDIE!!! It was a nice little celebration for my Lunar birthday. Though it wasnt planned. Nice and simple. Thank you for all the well wishes.
In the ARms of the ANgels... FAR AWAY FROM HERE....
Home
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people
IStill feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aerorplane
Another sunny placeI’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
Another winter day has come
And gone awayAnd even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people
IStill feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aerorplane
Another sunny placeI’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
Another winter day has come
And gone awayAnd even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
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