I didnt know that i sounded so bad in my last entry until i started getting msges, emails and sms from family and friends on words of comfort and encouragements.
Thank you all. That was really sweet of you!
Mummy is here with me now in China. She's HAPPY!! And that would very much make my day. I was really busy the past 2 days so I only managed to have dinner with her and also go to her room to chit chat after dinner.
Im looking forward to the end of the day though! Cos I would be able to enjoy my holidays and spend quality time with mummy! We are going to Qing Dao tom. Yay.... Going to visit the Beer City and climb "LAO" mountain. And you know which part of the trip i look forward to most?? Staying in the nice 4-star hotel there. I cant wait to get a few nights of comfortable sleep.
Returning to sg on 7th may seems impossible for now. I suspect that i can only leave china on 16th. And If I were to leave china on 16th, I would think that it only makes sense to stopover Seoul for a good 2-3 days just to make use of Vesak day holiday.. But that would mean that i will miss meeting up with my cousin qiu b4 her work and travel USA and I would also be missing my cousin's wedding.
Shall see how everything goes... SEOUL is definitely at the top of my list....
DC's little compliment made my day. I was a tad stress over the assignement she gave me 2 days ago. Im glad I made it! Two more hours of intense work and mummy here I come!!
~SCRUMPTIOUS KOREAN CUISINE TONIGHT~
I will start snapping away!! But I suspect my Nikon is a little grouchy. I hope it did not give up on me. I was ONLY contemplating to get the SAMSUNG cam which was only selling for $201 USD at Seoul airport that day. I havent really decided on buying. Nikon cant be so petty right? Dun fail me! I still have QingDao on the list!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Back to china
Grandma's funeral was on sunday.
Tuesday morning was her 1st 7 days and there was a prayer session held at the temple.
Tuesday evening we had a good family dinner, all 4 families, something we didnt have for quite sometime. Im sure ah ma would be happy to see this.
Tuesday night I was at Changi T1 waiting for my flight to seoul.
Wed afternoon I finally managed to reach yantai. As I needed to meet my DCFO, I had to go back to work almost immediately after i reach the guesthouse.
I broke down again yesterday night. I guess because I didnt really have a proper chance to grieve and just release all these emotions. I broke down on sunday night but I guess that didnt help very much.
I am exhausted. Emotionally and physically very very drained.
I guess things will just get better and I will try to avoid falling back into depression.
Work stress. Lack of sleep. Health not in a good shape for the longest time + all other miscellaneous problems.
Tuesday morning was her 1st 7 days and there was a prayer session held at the temple.
Tuesday evening we had a good family dinner, all 4 families, something we didnt have for quite sometime. Im sure ah ma would be happy to see this.
Tuesday night I was at Changi T1 waiting for my flight to seoul.
Wed afternoon I finally managed to reach yantai. As I needed to meet my DCFO, I had to go back to work almost immediately after i reach the guesthouse.
I broke down again yesterday night. I guess because I didnt really have a proper chance to grieve and just release all these emotions. I broke down on sunday night but I guess that didnt help very much.
I am exhausted. Emotionally and physically very very drained.
I guess things will just get better and I will try to avoid falling back into depression.
Work stress. Lack of sleep. Health not in a good shape for the longest time + all other miscellaneous problems.
Monday, April 21, 2008
The Flight home
I sank into a huge depression yesterday. I am someone who doesnt speak my mind readily and openly. I would bottle everything up and one day, when things are filled to the brim, i break down.
I would try my best to get out of this depression.
My grandma's funeral was over yesterday. The moment that I loathe most was always that just before cremation. The screaming, shouting, and wailings, all was unbearable. It was the same for all 3 funerals that I attended so far, with 2 being that of people whom i love and Im close to.
I received a call from mummy last wed morning on the bad news.
For the first 10 min, my mind was blank. I was all alone in the room in my office in China.
With no huge emotions, tears started streaming down. I wasnt consciously crying but those tears were not within my control and somehow, I had problems stopping them.
I needed a hug. I needed someone. I was all alone in a cold and empty room.
Things on my mind:
Gotta rush to arrange quickest flight back. Gotta reschedule meetings. Gotta plan hastiest arrangements. Gotta buy peanuts, ah ma's fav.
Next morning, I woke up at 7am and headed to office for an important meeting scheduled at 830am.
At 930 am, i was on my way to yantai airport. I reached Seoul at about 1230pm. Went to buy dunkin doughnuts, grandma loved snacks too. waited for my flight.
Took off at 310pm. Reached SG 930pm. This was one of the longest flight ever. Rushed home to change and i reached the wake at 1010pm.
Holding the josssticks in hand, my tears flowed again. I was late. I didnt even get to see her body because they have decided not to drain the remaining blood off her.I was only closer to ah ma after she was seriously ill last july and we all started visiting her regularly. But still, I didnt think it made things any easier for me.
This is the first death in which i have to cope with while I was away from my family. Uncle tin and wan yee were there for me all the way from after i received the news till before i boarded the flight back home. I couldnt ask a lot of questions which i had in mind cos none of my family members were around. I just had to put everything on hold, tried to push everything to the back of my mind while i endured the flight back.
12 hours of torture before i eventually reach my home. That was one of the worst 12 hours in my life.
I would try my best to get out of this depression.
My grandma's funeral was over yesterday. The moment that I loathe most was always that just before cremation. The screaming, shouting, and wailings, all was unbearable. It was the same for all 3 funerals that I attended so far, with 2 being that of people whom i love and Im close to.
I received a call from mummy last wed morning on the bad news.
For the first 10 min, my mind was blank. I was all alone in the room in my office in China.
With no huge emotions, tears started streaming down. I wasnt consciously crying but those tears were not within my control and somehow, I had problems stopping them.
I needed a hug. I needed someone. I was all alone in a cold and empty room.
Things on my mind:
Gotta rush to arrange quickest flight back. Gotta reschedule meetings. Gotta plan hastiest arrangements. Gotta buy peanuts, ah ma's fav.
Next morning, I woke up at 7am and headed to office for an important meeting scheduled at 830am.
At 930 am, i was on my way to yantai airport. I reached Seoul at about 1230pm. Went to buy dunkin doughnuts, grandma loved snacks too. waited for my flight.
Took off at 310pm. Reached SG 930pm. This was one of the longest flight ever. Rushed home to change and i reached the wake at 1010pm.
Holding the josssticks in hand, my tears flowed again. I was late. I didnt even get to see her body because they have decided not to drain the remaining blood off her.I was only closer to ah ma after she was seriously ill last july and we all started visiting her regularly. But still, I didnt think it made things any easier for me.
This is the first death in which i have to cope with while I was away from my family. Uncle tin and wan yee were there for me all the way from after i received the news till before i boarded the flight back home. I couldnt ask a lot of questions which i had in mind cos none of my family members were around. I just had to put everything on hold, tried to push everything to the back of my mind while i endured the flight back.
12 hours of torture before i eventually reach my home. That was one of the worst 12 hours in my life.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
About my work
Whhheeeee.......
Im pretty drained at this point of time. I have 3 projects on hand.
Project 1
This particular one is the most interesting and although the most complicated, it gets me most excited and of course, drains the most energy out of me. On the same light, it gives me the most satisfaction.
This project spans 3 countries, Norway, SG and China. I am pretty grateful really to be given the opportunity to manage this. This is very much a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And because i started managing this project from SCRATCH, i get to learn, see and try my ideas on every single aspect of it. From operations, to dealing with management, to dealing with banks, dealing with vendors, dealing with employees(PRC, Singaporeans, angmos included) and learning about all the relevant laws and legislations. This is a project that involves knowledge and skills of finance, HR, accounting and certainly, management.
I started this project during my days as an intern. I was tasked to take it back to manage after i joined the company permanently. It's almost 2 years now that i look back.
You know how we were told it was important to be billingual back in SG during our school days? If not for the fact that I was educated effectively in Chinese and English, I cant perform what i perform now. No way. I need to function as effectively when my documents are all in chinese. Frankly, my efficiency would go down by about 30%. But I guess at the end of the day, that is where the value lies.
I am truly truly happy doing what i am doing now. Feel really blessed!.
Project 2
This project is not as complicated, but it is relatively big scale. I am able to structure the direction, the plan and the thoughts for this process fundamentally because of the more mini-scale ones i did back in sg office. The challenge for this is bit different, cos I am leading a team to do this for me. I need to motivate them, train them and let them understand my expectations. My sucess in this project doesnt lie in me alone. This is where the power of teamwork lies.
I have to thank George for giving me this opportunity and also resources. I guess it's a win-win at the end of the day. But he opened me up to the world of offshore engineering. Something no one else would be able to, at least not this way.
Im happy with my team of 6 trainees too. In a way, they remind me of how I was back then when i first joined this company. They were more fortunate, cos they have courses, training and mentors planned for them. For me, I was very much thrown into the big sea to drown right from day 1. No complaints though, for that was what made me who i am today. Not that Im somebody great, but there are a lot of skills, creations, thoughts that I could put into action with the great amt of automy and empowerment I was given. And I get to bring my dept structuring skills to another level when i am playing it from a manager's role rather than an executive's role.
Im pretty drained at this point of time. I have 3 projects on hand.
Project 1
This particular one is the most interesting and although the most complicated, it gets me most excited and of course, drains the most energy out of me. On the same light, it gives me the most satisfaction.
This project spans 3 countries, Norway, SG and China. I am pretty grateful really to be given the opportunity to manage this. This is very much a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And because i started managing this project from SCRATCH, i get to learn, see and try my ideas on every single aspect of it. From operations, to dealing with management, to dealing with banks, dealing with vendors, dealing with employees(PRC, Singaporeans, angmos included) and learning about all the relevant laws and legislations. This is a project that involves knowledge and skills of finance, HR, accounting and certainly, management.
I started this project during my days as an intern. I was tasked to take it back to manage after i joined the company permanently. It's almost 2 years now that i look back.
You know how we were told it was important to be billingual back in SG during our school days? If not for the fact that I was educated effectively in Chinese and English, I cant perform what i perform now. No way. I need to function as effectively when my documents are all in chinese. Frankly, my efficiency would go down by about 30%. But I guess at the end of the day, that is where the value lies.
I am truly truly happy doing what i am doing now. Feel really blessed!.
Project 2
This project is not as complicated, but it is relatively big scale. I am able to structure the direction, the plan and the thoughts for this process fundamentally because of the more mini-scale ones i did back in sg office. The challenge for this is bit different, cos I am leading a team to do this for me. I need to motivate them, train them and let them understand my expectations. My sucess in this project doesnt lie in me alone. This is where the power of teamwork lies.
I have to thank George for giving me this opportunity and also resources. I guess it's a win-win at the end of the day. But he opened me up to the world of offshore engineering. Something no one else would be able to, at least not this way.
Im happy with my team of 6 trainees too. In a way, they remind me of how I was back then when i first joined this company. They were more fortunate, cos they have courses, training and mentors planned for them. For me, I was very much thrown into the big sea to drown right from day 1. No complaints though, for that was what made me who i am today. Not that Im somebody great, but there are a lot of skills, creations, thoughts that I could put into action with the great amt of automy and empowerment I was given. And I get to bring my dept structuring skills to another level when i am playing it from a manager's role rather than an executive's role.
Project 3
This project is in a way, like a subset of project 2 because it involves only 1 department whereas P2 has 9 sub departments which are each as big as 1 normal dept. Uncle tin is the only person that I work with closely for this initially. He is doing a great job actually, especially during those times when i see him start speaking to his team the way i used to speak to him. I would have been very much a nusiance to him i guess since i always have to bugg him and remind him of the tight deadline. Thanks to George again, I got another helper to help me close this. I would look into greater details for the workflow in this finance team cos eventually, i have to link them back to finance sg. And anyway, I will be permanently based in finance sg once im done with P1, P2 and P3. I need to understand P3.
Grateful to be blessed with the above opportunities...
Will try my best to deliver these 3 on time.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Moving forward
It is getting clearer and clearer to me that it is important for me to do things that interest me and can keep me going. I see the stark difference when i handle the different projects on hand; my motivation level is different, my satisfaction level is different, my efficiency is also a lot higher doing what i enjoy doing.
When i first graduated, i thought, 1.5 yrs from then, which is now, i would have a good idea of what i wanna do in life and in my career. However, at this point in time, im pretty taken aback that i do not have the slightest idea of what i would like to do eventually. I know my clock is ticking, I would lose out eventually if i take too long to decide on my career path.
Anyway, after my masters, I am looking at a 2-3 years relocation somewhere outside SG, hopefully outside china, preferably in US or Europe. I dun mind HK too actually. I think I have spent so much time out of SG that I am addicted to living and working in a different country. I still love SG no doubt and I always look forward to touching down at Changi AP.
I wanna explore and experience as much as I can before i settle down and have kids. Life is too short to just get complacent. The world out there is way too big for us to just stay in the red dot.
Okaes....
Food I miss most: Hokkien Hei Mee.
Book I wish I had spent I bit more time on: Goddess
Book I wish I had read a little faster and is constantly at the back of my mind: Athena
I cleared one series of DVD though. I made the right choice in bringing over the DVD player. I got a good TV here. Not putting it to waste.
When I return this May, I will embrace my new life with open arms. New challenges lie ahead, less travelling more learning, more time with friends and family. I am looking forward to that.
Well, before that, deliverables.. deliverables... Gotta make it happen.. somehow.
When i first graduated, i thought, 1.5 yrs from then, which is now, i would have a good idea of what i wanna do in life and in my career. However, at this point in time, im pretty taken aback that i do not have the slightest idea of what i would like to do eventually. I know my clock is ticking, I would lose out eventually if i take too long to decide on my career path.
Anyway, after my masters, I am looking at a 2-3 years relocation somewhere outside SG, hopefully outside china, preferably in US or Europe. I dun mind HK too actually. I think I have spent so much time out of SG that I am addicted to living and working in a different country. I still love SG no doubt and I always look forward to touching down at Changi AP.
I wanna explore and experience as much as I can before i settle down and have kids. Life is too short to just get complacent. The world out there is way too big for us to just stay in the red dot.
Okaes....
Food I miss most: Hokkien Hei Mee.
Book I wish I had spent I bit more time on: Goddess
Book I wish I had read a little faster and is constantly at the back of my mind: Athena
I cleared one series of DVD though. I made the right choice in bringing over the DVD player. I got a good TV here. Not putting it to waste.
When I return this May, I will embrace my new life with open arms. New challenges lie ahead, less travelling more learning, more time with friends and family. I am looking forward to that.
Well, before that, deliverables.. deliverables... Gotta make it happen.. somehow.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Ramblings
I bought a pretty chio wilson tennis bag yesterday. I wanted to enrol in tennis courses here but the sports centre said that the tennis instructor has just left for his/her studies. I will go do that when i return to sg in may.
For now, we are all planning to go for badminton sessions 2-3 times a week.
The games arcade here cost the same dollar to dollar compared to that in SG. Since our currency is about 5 times stronger, it is very much more affordable than in SG.
The pool / snooker table rental here is only 8RMB per hour. Got a free personal trainer.. ahah.. ok, not so personal cos i will have to share with theresa but im sure with lots of practise, I will be able to improve.
My posts seem very disjointed because I dun seem to have the patience to piece everything nicely in a prose form. These are some of the things i did this weekend.
Like my entry, my thoughts are pretty disjointed at this point in time too. Anyway, Im going to embark on a journey of self love. I think I havent been taking care of myself too well the past 1.5 years. I changed unknowingly. Days ahead should be better. I would think so.
For now, we are all planning to go for badminton sessions 2-3 times a week.
The games arcade here cost the same dollar to dollar compared to that in SG. Since our currency is about 5 times stronger, it is very much more affordable than in SG.
The pool / snooker table rental here is only 8RMB per hour. Got a free personal trainer.. ahah.. ok, not so personal cos i will have to share with theresa but im sure with lots of practise, I will be able to improve.
My posts seem very disjointed because I dun seem to have the patience to piece everything nicely in a prose form. These are some of the things i did this weekend.
Like my entry, my thoughts are pretty disjointed at this point in time too. Anyway, Im going to embark on a journey of self love. I think I havent been taking care of myself too well the past 1.5 years. I changed unknowingly. Days ahead should be better. I would think so.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Im going to start preparing for my GMAT. Yes i have finally decided.
Another 26k of investment in my education.
Gonna do it part time. Full time is simply impossible unless im holding a admin job that does not require me to think too much. I suspect I might not have to travel so intensely after this time round. And I would be able to concentrate on my preparation for GMAT. I have to start my enrolment in July. Begin my course in Jan 2009.
I was looking at a few choices. I will announce it when i am more settled. CFA doesnt work for me now cos I am not in a bank nor the finance industry. Perhaps I will take it later on, but I suspect this masters that I am taking will pretty much cover me in a lot of places, including finance, if I want to. In the next few years, I would like to still stay in my offshore and marine industry.
It took me 1.5 yrs to finally understand and decide on my advance learning.
Excited and motivated
Another 26k of investment in my education.
Gonna do it part time. Full time is simply impossible unless im holding a admin job that does not require me to think too much. I suspect I might not have to travel so intensely after this time round. And I would be able to concentrate on my preparation for GMAT. I have to start my enrolment in July. Begin my course in Jan 2009.
I was looking at a few choices. I will announce it when i am more settled. CFA doesnt work for me now cos I am not in a bank nor the finance industry. Perhaps I will take it later on, but I suspect this masters that I am taking will pretty much cover me in a lot of places, including finance, if I want to. In the next few years, I would like to still stay in my offshore and marine industry.
It took me 1.5 yrs to finally understand and decide on my advance learning.
Excited and motivated
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