He must be angry with the powder on the face...
Posted by Picasa

Thank you!!

My god... the reply that Chee Sin gave me shock me till my face mask cracked...

"How many more postcards have you got."

"11".

"Okay I will take all".


Woah.. My heart stopped... then began beating very very fast... Thanks a lot!!!
And Haha.. for that kindness, that magnanimity and the swiftness of your reply, I shall get you a nice pressie from Kathmandu. Thanks for arranging for the movie, dinner and supper this sat night. Im speechless, very touched...HAHA... REALLY OWE U A BIG THANK YOU!!! Cos i really have no time. Still remembered when i first started my internship and was thrown a task of valuating the share options, you never hesitate to just drop by YCK on ya way to work to pass me the book. And all the interview tips, all the experience and everything.. THANK YOU!! This year you got my ~~~BEST SENIOR AWARD~~~

Woah, My last paper is on friday and after that, it will only be the beginning... of a TON OF THINGS TO DO. gosh... Bahaha.. A series of celebration is a must though. AHAH

And, i wanna complain about wongso. Damn angry. 2 hour econs paper. He finished it in 1hr 15 min. Then proudly said that he was the first to leave the exam hall. And quite easy... Disgusting you know? And what the other time you had labour econs test, you also first to leave, not very confident, then got 100. Life is not fair lor, since those days in JC, you play+ Sleep, I play + study but you still get ya string of As like they just belong to you. Angry~!! You guys ought to be shot. Get out. Get out.

Now that I look back, hmm.. Not bad lah... At least you got teach me. HAHA.. still remember the Analytical skills exam in year 1, I never study, then the night b4 I panic, very depressed ( I dun remember why i didnt study for that). Then you decided to drop by and teach me. And in the end i got my first A+ of my SMU life. HAHA and you were pissed.. very pissed cos when you did it a semester earlier, you only got A. Its not cos Im smart lah, its cos you still remembered what is important and you just crash course me.. but ah.. I still think I have the potential to analyse... that's why. HAAH.. and that was one of the courses that I will never forget.

Its ending le.. ending le.. my sMU life...

Winter time

There...

I still need...

A pair of gloves - thinking of getting a brown leather one to match my boots
2 sets of long johns... -1 wool 1 cotton or 2 wool?
Heat packs - from the way sy describes how she is going to utulise them... *shake head*
Scarf
Mufflers

Basically... A bomb. Yes, that is exactly how much everything is going to cost me. ARRGGHH!!

And I have 2 whole days to mug my strategy. Maybe cos of my camaradarie with Jy, HAHA.. I think I can understand my korean prof well... HAHA.. I cant help but see kim chih each time I see him, PLus all the korean food we all went in bkk near Asoke Station the other time. The best and cheapest korean food I have tried.

One thing at a time girl...

Woah god, Shiying, we also need to research on our kathmandu trip. Die. So much things to prepare... ARRGGHH... Exams first, and I have a lot of impromptu things that I have to handle too...

My thoughts are all jumbled up. Think here and there.

At least I dun wake up with a headache today, unlike mon. And yes... Sleep is very very important. Quality sleep that is. SLEEP!!

And Im trying to space all my packing out. My room too.

THE NUMBER ONE THING I CANT WAIT TO DO!!!!
IS to consolidate and dump all the notes that I know I wont flip again for the rest of my life. PAck my textbooks all these while nicely. My book shelf is in a mess again cos mummy started depositing trespassers on my shelf. All of the books on my shelf did not get their citizenship easy k. They have to go through my stringent requirements. But for now... Its like a slump!
I will need to clear and pack everything after I come back from kathmandu.

I will REVAMP my room. If possible, Im going to keep a lookout for nice decos that I can use for my room. If possible, I would paint my room. Change the colour or add more things. My gor gor left lots of ugly holes on the walls. I would have to cover them up. I also need to set up a proper system so that I dun have to meddle or be disturbed by the mundane housekeeping which I absolutely abhor.

Going to get gor gor to set up my TV and radio. Papa said Hi fi was for me. But today, He came in and pass me a portable radio instead. You know, those kind that can play casstte. Woah, I have no time and no expertise to set up any system in my room.

Need to revamp my wardrobe also.

Looking forward to everything that lies ahead.

New year, New resolution...

My Last day

And today is officially my last day at work.

Haha.. and Today Darryl actually came down to the shop with Ben. I mean how often to I actually meet them. And he is the most good looking brand manager so far. Belle, ya dream job...
HAha.. Although I have only met him a few times, he will never fail to give me this mega wide smile. Nice manager!

Oh.. My head is spinning now. Im really tired. Managed to get up early today to meet clement but oops.. sorry to have kept him waiting for about 15 min. We ended up with breadtalk breakfast instead. Nice and good. HAha.. Didnt know that he was So romantic and sweet. The chocolate rose and nice fresh roses, all the thoughts and efforts. Im impressed!!! Not for me lah... for his special someone. That was REALLY sweet. And all the things that he had planned. Im JEALOUS!!! And talking about flowers... Im sad lor... Still deficit. *Tsk Tsk*

And I suddenly feel so sad that this Xmas Im going to be away from my loved ones. Xmas is a very special festive season. Very. And I saw the log cakes. And I saw the gifts. And I saw the Cards. And I saw the pressie. And... I dunno what My Xmas will be like. And I wonder if my absence will be felt. Feel very nostalgic.

Today, still, I cant believe that I am leaving in no time. Cos I really dun have much time left. Today is the first and last lunch break with ken. Will shop WITH him for my new year clothes FOR SURE!!! And I saw this nice jacket at topshop that he pointed out. Looks really nice and he knows my exact size. AHAH... I would want to get it for my work next time, winter in Yantai. That would be really nice. And I saw this really nice green shawl from topshop too. The WOOL one. Very pretty... But its over budget.

After running to coldwear and a few shops here and there to check out winter clothes, I finally settled on this nice purple Down jacket. Next up would be my long johns and Im settled. I actually felt HAPPY after buying my jacket. COs I finally settled one item, one big one and at very satisfactory price. and Its pretty.

Pack and PAck. NEed to start soon. But my gor gor hasnt brought home his ultra big back pack. Arrggh..

Ok.. my head is really really spinning nonstop.

Im going to keep to my 1230. Its been doing me bad the past few days of late nights.

And I cant even type proper sentences.

I miss work. I miss working with you guys. Qin mei, lionel, jiani, Amin, Jenny, Amy, Clement, ken, Jennifer.. ALL OF YOU!!!

Xmas times always bring us together... like really close. I will Always come back!!! Just remember to give me erm.. discounts!!!

7 days

I will be leaving in one week's time. That is really fast. I mean I didnt realise how very near that was until today.

Its time to leave for a long trip.

Its time to Leave and LEAVE.

I have had a pretty severe Monday blues attack today. Not sure if it was the corporate reporting or that unclear vision that I had. Whatever it is, I will clear it. I guess my lack of sleep has also contributed to my slight depression. Plus... in this cold and rainy weather, there is only so much that can lift my spirits.

Oh, Just decided to have breakfast with clement tom. HAha.. remembered how Qin mei and I always say we want to eat and meet up for breakfast b4 work but we always cannot make it. We shall see how tom!!! I wIll wake up!!! I must!!!

And he said.. im leaving soon.. If not now then when. Hiaz...

Its also pretty sad that Im leaving the team. Had so much fun! Learnt a ton also.

I still feel very lost. 7 days. 7 days only...

Mixed feelings.

Say a Little Prayer for you!

For me... For me... Paper on mon and Friday. My symbolic last two again but dun tell me crap like how I should treasure the time and preparation I put into getting ready for my last 2 exams. There is NOTHING about exams that I will miss. I cant wait for them all to be over. Honestly, I dun see myself catching a nice un-disrupted sleep until I eventually get onto My TG XXX. Even then, I wont be able to sleep well cos i hate sleeping on planes. And since I wont get a proper bed until 19th Dec, that is how Long I am away from a nice comfy sleep that is totally carefree.... ARRGGHHH!

Yesterday... Friday... I Was suppose to be a chao mugger. BUT... I ended up going for the makeover and not long after I reached home... I had to leave to meet CY. I finally get to eat my Abalone Macademia nuts from Aussie. Thank you CY! And he asked me to join him for a networking-cum-chill night out at St James Powerhouse. And that club is just opp Vivo.

And now I got to know some traders, this thai interior designer, and some other friends' friends. The last person I LEAST EXPECT to get aquainted and be hanging out, chilling out and laughing non stop and she was standing next to me the whole night.. was this channel 8 artiste. I think I better not say her name here cos I think its not nice. AHAH...All thanks to my primary school classmate. AHAH.. Woah.. I couldnt stop laughing when we entered the club cos she came to pick us up and we manage to by-pass the damn long queue outside. She is so cute! I really like her. I couldnt stop laughing cos I never expected her to be there.. rather, I never expected to be going to spend my night with her. My gosh...

We ended up at Dragonfly... that place is like a Chinese rock club with a nice stage and live bands. Woah.. I must talk about this guy, i think he was part of the live band cos he came over to our table and we introduced. HE was damn funny.. COs when he heard my name he went... "EH... Woah... Wanshi... Hmm.. Like those names we always see in school.. in text..." and he went on to explain...

" Wanshi had 5 marbles, Ali had 10 marbles..."

Woah... I couldnt stop laughing.. That was damn funny. This was the first time somebody made such a hilarious comment about my name.. this is damn singaporean cos I dun think people who did their primary school outside singapore would understand. And so each time we spoke it was maths problem sum. AHAH

The other person that I wanna talk about is J. Woah... She is a very attractive lady, still very pretty at the age of 36, she really looks only 28 and she is a coffee trader. Cy told me that she is a director Hmm.. I couldnt help but think about my life when I look at her. Im not sure if I wanna be like her when im 36. Definitely successful in career. Definitely earning a lot. BUT.. I think im missing something. Anyway, she is nice and she talked to me about how she would need to travel to different coffee plantation every now and then and her clients would include like the major players in the coffee industry. And she said that she took in an SMU intern last sem or something and he was damn good. She said he was too good for them. Then when I told wongso, wongso said he knows that guy and he is really damn zai one.. AHHA.. Since that guy already set such a high standard, I think future interns at her trading firm would have a lot of pressure.

Hmm... ANyway, I had a great time.. and I sort of have a new insight to some of the things I have in life. And now that Im about to head into the corporate world, I guess there would lie a lot more opportunities and Im really happy and excited about meeting new people. Its a bit wierd at the beginning but after a while.. its really fun.

My prof marked my paper. He was absolutely impartial. HAHA.. I was smiling like a cow after I ran straight to the office to collect my paper which went missing and made a surprise come-back but almost got me into deep shit. Im safe. And He is and will always be my FAV PROF!!!!!

Back to work!

Dyason BAby
Posted by Picasa

Awwwww.... Such a Sweetie Pie Smile
Posted by Picasa

My Baby blowing bubble... HAha. Must be PoPo's idea to powder the face this way cos I have a baby picture with just as much powder on my face
Posted by Picasa

The Mugger went makeover

SMile!
Posted by Picasa

Tada!!
Posted by Picasa

ME trying to get as many shots as possible
Posted by Picasa

I LUUURRRVVVVVVVEEEE THis Pic.. but too bad My nose was cut off a bit. It was just a random shot that I really like
Posted by Picasa

After I let my hair down @ kino
Posted by Picasa

B4 I Let my hair down
Posted by Picasa

@ orchard road
Posted by Picasa

Haha... some random pics
Posted by Picasa

Me and Claudine... If not for her, I wouldnt be here
Posted by Picasa

Me and nelle
Posted by Picasa

Jasmine, she helped me do the face art and the base make up
Posted by Picasa

After we did our hair and make up
Posted by Picasa

Excited...

I got asked by C if I want a free makeover this afternoon. And since her dad is the boss of clarins there will be no scam. So fun lor.. mugging halfway I shall leave in the afternoon for such an impromptu event. That's fun!!!

And I get that famous Jap stylist to do my hair. Woah. HAha... BUT.. I just hope he doesnt decide that i look better in short hair and THERE GOES ALL MY HAIR.

And there is the make up and photoshoot. I dun really know the objective and all for this. But its ok. AHAH.. Since it is free... I shall go and look see look see...

I will update you guys later. HAAH....

Excited.

Back to my corp reporting!!!

Spiritual engagement

Its been a long time since I...

Last reached home before 5pm.
Took 851 (This is the old folks and Ah nehs bus)
Accidentally made a one-hour nap 4 hours

And I had a simple dinner. Enjoyed Channel 8, though I know I shouldnt cos at this point in time, I should be mugging like there is no tomorrow but I needed some food for my soul and yeah... Tv is one of the sources of food for my head. And I had a chat with Papa.

I really enjoy watching the nine o clock show from channel 8 and that pilot show from channel U. Haha.. from that channel 8 show, when i look at the role Cynthia koh was playing.. I cant help but shake my head. Each time I watch( not often and so I missed a few episodes in between), I see her with a jia lat guy. And she would be sobbing away like a poor cow. There is a fine line between silly woman and Stupid woman. And HAha... Looking at myself, sometimes I realised I maybe silly, but never will I allow myself to be stupid simply because, I have a choice.

As for the pilot show, its interesting to watch and learn some flying theories here and there. One of the reason why HK drama are so successful is that you can see the effort, the amount of research, the production team put into crafting the serial. It isnt just about the cute guys and the pretty girls, there plot, the knowledge imparted and the fact that they can intricately tie in the soft side of things into the main plot. And the part I like most in HK drama serials is their ability to craft a distinct character for each of the roles played. Very well done. And I really love the song for the show, sung by one of my favourite singer, EAson.

I would really love to visit HK and I am truly looking forward to exploring the place next year. From the food, to the way of life, the shopping and the sight seeing plus the interaction with the people. Im looking forward to every bit of it. I have watched lots of HK movie, drama serials. I wanna be there to check things out.

After experiencing a 4 month exchange, travelling to me no longer means the same. The kind of longing and objectives, the way I travel and the things I wanna get out of each place has changed. I no longer look at a city the same way. I will try to immerse myself not so much to something that everyone does, but to sit and just watch and observe the city. To go right down to the everday life of the people in the different country. That is what travelling is all about to me. And to be able to feel and see that, a clear piece of mind and soul is important. Otherwise, we will only just takeaway the superficial.

To let go, engage, explore, enjoy and then you takeaway. That is what is so addictive.

Rainbow

Oh Its ok now. There is Sunshine after the rain. RAINBOW in fact.

And there was much achievement today.
I didnt give in. I finished what I planned to do and it was an excellent way to end it in fact.

And I finally caught Prestige.

Im happy. Again.

Focus on the right things and I cant go wrong. It went wrong yesterday but Im back!

The half-hug was wierd.. HAHA.. cos i know that somehow i will be back!

...And I crumbled...

It hurts, each time this happens.

I fight so hard for my dreams and of all people, you dun understand.
When im tied up, all I needed was a little support. Just that tiny bit.
But I got none. And I have to bear with those words.
I couldnt believe my ears.

The one source which has always been my pillar of support was lost today.
I couldnt get through.
I couldnt speak.

My heart sank.
and it dropped.
It hurts.
So bad.

But no matter what, Im going to pull through.
Doesnt matter what lies ahead.
I fought and I won.
I shall fight and i will win.
I will.
Simply because Im very sure of what I want.
I will go for it.
Tears will only blur my vision momentarily.
Obstacles are transient, Happiness and memories are forever.

When every minute counts...

Oh there is no time to waste.

My life now is packed. Fully. Just enough to sleep. Even sleeping doesnt seem enough. Haha.. not so much of the exams but everything else. I enjoy living everyday to the fullest. Im busy. But im not stressed out. I would say the stress level is optimal. Im achieving what I set out to. And I see progress and meaning in everything I do.

And I have no time after my exams. I dunno how I can meet up with all the peeps after exam. Really no time. But surely I will have a family dinner b4 I fly off. And the last time we had a family dinner was when I came back from Bkk. Can you imagine.. that was like in May. I miss everyone. Papa was so nice today. He cooked porridge for me. And its such nutritious porridge. Sweet potato + Spinach + Carrot and eat it with the canned minced pork. AWWWW... I miss having simple home cooked meal like that. I need to cook soon. The last time i cooked was again, in bkk.

My dearest JY is joining me after my exam from BKK... Cant wait!!!!! HAHA... Will be so fun. And we can meet up with Jeff now that he is in Singapore and not away in Chiang mai. HAHA Cant believe how he manage to stay on in thailand for so long and i bet his thai must be damn zai now that he has someone to practise with. HAAH.. Will dig more stories when we all meet up. And somebody is bringing somebody else... HAHAHA... Not sure is it to intro to me or to show me. AHHA... Can catch Jong Dam if he is still around. And Tetsuya has this cute korean rommie also. HAHA... I guess the Korean gang should unite in singapore. Since SY's buddy happens to be a Korean too. Woah.. Jy, I think you have met almost all my korean friends here le. HAAH. Im expecting to enjoy the same treatment the next time I visit you in Seoul. You must keep ya promise!!!

I will go visit June and PUm soon. Just a pity that you will be flying back to seoul already. ARRGGHHH.. why not try Samsung again??

I have to pack soon leh.. CAnnot wait till last minute anymore.

Im really excited about the Nepal trip. The new place, new people and new experience.

Im focused. Very focused.

HAHA...

I NEED to go back to BKK

Come on!!!

What is wrong with thai airways? Why cant they just allow me to stopover when Im ALREADY THERE for transit? I dun understand!!!

I NEED to meet up with the girls!!! I need to meet up with Jy, June, Pum. And I need to go for my Massage, Jap food, Bags, Shoes, And eat my fav Phad Thai, Mk Restaurant, Visit my Siam paragon, catch a movie or two from the cinema there while enjoying my Salt and Vinegar popcorn. Pay a visit to Erawan, hang out at MBK, go to RCA, Visit CHULA for my Gai Tord Khao Niao.. ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I miss Evergreen. I miss the waffle dog selling for only 10bt($0.40) opp asia hotel, EAt the very very ultra fresh, cheap and delicious Seafood and also the "ZI CHA" stall from Asia hotel that side. I CANNOT TAKE IT LE! I NEED TO GO BACK TO BKK. I miss all the things and all the time i spent there, in my room, nice and clean white bed sheets, feeling embarrassed when the housekeepers come every morning and the whole house was in a mess, burning the popcorn in the microwave, trying frantically to whip up Hainanese chicken rice, laksa, char kway teow. Ate all the delicious authentic thai food. Visiting Paragon after school with JY. Shopping for groceries at paragon with JY. Checking out lingerie sales every now and then at PAragon with JY.

JY!!!!!!!!!!

ARRGGHGHH

The Capricorn Lady

Though she may not show it, this woman cares a great deal about love. Some women are content to leave love to fate, but Capricorn woman takes a hand in determining her own fate. She is discriminating in her choice of men, the least likely of all the zodiacal signs to fall in love at first sight. She has no time to waste in silly flirtation; love is a serious matter to her. If a man doesn't measure up, she wants him out of her way. If a man does interest her, she will observe him from an emotional distance before moving closer. She takes the time to get to know him and considers carefully the consequences of her involvement. Like all earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn), she has a deep-rooted sensuality that flowers only when she feels safe and secure.

To Capricorn woman, happiness in love is crucial. She wants someone who will cherish and understand her, who will not rob her of her self-sufficiency or ask her to relinquish control of her life and goals. But she is a realist and knows how hard he is to find.

She will not put her neck into any man's yoke. A Capricorn woman may appear shy or submissive, but she is like a rubber ball: You can push a dent into it, but the ball always springs back to its original shape. She is self-disciplined; she has a clear mind, a commonsense approach. She is a most womanly woman, a lady with "class." Typical examples of Capricorn females are Marlene Dietrich, Maggie Smith, Ava Gardner, Faye Dunaway, Mary Tyler Moore—all intensively feminine, yet with a reserve of inner strength.

If you have your mind set on winning a Capricorn beauty, you'd better prepare for a long siege, she is not easy to win. She expects to be pursued, wooed, put into the mood. No Don Juan can leap into her bed and leap out again. If a man lets the issue of sex become a contest of wills, he is a good bet to lose. In a head-to-head contest this woman could wear down a glacier.

She sometimes becomes involved with men who are younger than she is. One reason is that she wants to dominate in the male-female relationship. On a date, she will often try to dictate the terms. She'll pick the restaurant, the kind of entertainment, and arrange for tickets. If you begin living together, she will handle the division of household chores.

Capricorn women are not particularly lucky in love. Perhaps they demand too much, perhaps they're too involved with a career to inspire the kind of love and devotion they want, or perhaps the men they choose tend to be too inexperienced or naive. Whatever the reason, it's too bad because Capricorn women, in addition to their sexuality, have many practical virtues. They are loyal, dependable, excellent at handling money, canny about people. They are very helpful to a mate and will stand by him when the going is toughest. All a Capricorn woman asks in return is to share in the spoils when the battle is won.

Her passions run deep, and so does her impact. Long after transitory affairs have run their courses, this smoldering siren will hold her place in a man's affections. Cherish her, honor her, love her, respect her. She'll pay you back in the richest coin of the realm—the kind of loving relationship that lasts.

More to come...
Posted by Picasa

Graduation Supper @ The Prata House

Im full. Satisfied. Feeling a bit cold. Totally worn out.
BUT
Im Happy.

Had an impromptu outing again. Initially we sort of planned to report to the dance floor tonight but as I was really kind of tired with that 4 hours of sleep and I had to brave through two presentations back to back, I decided I should give it a miss. Anyway, we were all pretty tired le.

And somehow, I manage to have a hearty dinner in school again with Nas, Chris and Tracy. As usual chit chat non stop, they were suppose to have some Nego meeting and we ended up eating at kopitiam in school. That was my first decent meal of the day and I thought that what I ate could last me till tom morning BUT I was so wrong.

By 8 plus I was already losing concentration and began to do everything except to edit that report. So was chatting with Wai on msn... My impromptu mate... asked her if she wanted prata. YES. ON. And I called Darryl. YES ON. And I called SY. YES. ON. And the next thing we know, we were enjoying great prata in upper thomson. Chit chat chit chat non stop again. And thanks to Darryl who manage to meet up with his sis to get the car... we had transport home.

It was then that they sort of realised that they actually know each other. Haha... and like we said... SMU is not big lor...

I felt that today was a symbolic day cos it is my last official day of class in school, at least, for my uni life. Im glad that the presentations turned out well and I was happy to see the korean prof smile and nod his head. Happy to meet the people in school and I will definitely miss our Lee Ka Shing Library. Mengzi had an interesting reply to the email and yes, all the best for his trip to Germany!

Tom is going to be another great celebration!

Im looking forward to that.

I like this pic.. Really look as if Im in the Ah- GO- GO Era..

I missed these pics out from the Girlies night.... There you go

Cheers...
Posted by Picasa

So cute this one.. I dunno what we were doing. But ahha.. Chris and her suspenders
Posted by Picasa

Hmmm..
Posted by Picasa

Nas and me
Posted by Picasa

think Nas almost flipped the table. And chris was frantically trying to keep the glasses upright
Posted by Picasa

Yawnz

I cant stop yawning.. aRrgghh...

Should have known better than to allow myself to down these 3 potent drinks yesterday.
Culprits: Bubble milk tea, Seasons lemon tea, Sakae green tea.

Each of these beverage of its own will not be strong enough to keep me awake. BUT, the magical power of a mixture of all three... left me wide awake, despite countless attempts to bring myself to slumberland yesterday night till.... 330AM. Eyes, wide open, tossing and turning... Trying all different ways to put myself to sleep, but the frustration of not being able to sleep made things worst. And yes, 2 pressies today. My symbolic last.

Thought of throwing a mini celebration tonight but I guess I wont have much energy left. At the most, a movie. Hmm.. We'll see.

And so I cant stand having my sidebars right at the bottom of the blog.
And so I decided to change the blogskin.
And so I chose my fav white and green.

TAda... The new look. Its pretty boring i think... cos the fonts, etc, the outlook are pretty plain, nothing fanciful BUT I do not have the patience to customize it. SO... Just enjoy my green and white.

Its going to end soon...

Im Lovin' It

I cant really put my feelings into words at this point of time.
All that I can say is that I am really Happy!
Its not an extreme happiness but rather, Happiness at an optimal level.

I think I remembered when I last felt this way. Too bad it didnt last. Its ok. Doesnt matter. All that matters now is what I have and how I feel.

I feel like I prolly had 3 more lungs. AHAH... really, like breathing is so much easier now. No stress. No nothing. Just taking everything in stride.

I learn a new word today=> "Portmanteau"

Supposed to wake up for Dim Sum buffet early today but yeah... "supposed". But I will wanna try it soon. I love Dim sum.

My thoughts are kind of random. I guess that's cos I have quite a bit to say...

Yeah... Im now like 2 weeks away from the end, or rather, the beginning. Tom would officially be the last school day of my life for now. And well, I will have 2 presentations and Im done for the week. 2 more exams and Im done with SMU.

I love my last sem in school. I love all my groupmates!!! Im glad that I have a really wonderful bunch of peeps... And after hearing stories of how people break down and how their screws got loose under tremendous pressure in school, Im really glad that I managed to not just pull through all my projects with all of YOU... But we had SO MUCH FUN and EXCITMENT in between.

Strategy: NAT, VAL, TRACY, NAS, ADRIAN Loh, DAWnie
You guys are the best!!! Damn funny. So last minute but none of us panicked. One of the BEST if not the BEST project group I have ever had. ~~~SYNERGY~~~ SO MUCH JOKES and MUST SAlute Adrian and for yesterday, NAs was the most funny with all her CB (consumer behaviour) Jokes.

SBM: Rong, Wai, Jingyi, Duong, Sharon.
Well, Some hiccups but we made it!!! Wai and Jingyi.. HAHA.. You are SO CUTE!!! All the late nights, chat, chilling out, hanging out... SO ON about everything. Since we are in the same clubs.. haha.... and ALL THE GIRLS TALK. WOah.. really nice...

Corporate Reporting: Darryl, Mengzi, Meibin
I dun really have much to say about this group, except that Im just glad to know Mengzi and to have worked with him, a genius. As for Darryl, AHAH... Mr NIce GUy.. and All the hanging out was real enjoyable!! Laugh and laugh... And all the nasi lemak during break. My lunch kaki b4 class or during break but definitely before Quiz. AHAH. Meibin, who turns out to be my cousin's best friend, and I only found out about that very much later.

Leadership: Tetsuya
Though there isnt any group projects, but we sort of are always sitting in the same discussion group. And his "allergy to english" is something I cant forget. HAha.. ITs interesting to hang out with him cos he is full of crap too, the jap style. And he reminds me of the way I used to hang out with JY!!! JY I MISS YOU!!

SY
I never was this close to you until this sem. I dun really know when and how we starting hanging out also. HAHA.. Bondue, yes, and Grad night, and I really cant remember when we started hanging out. I guess it was golf that brought us really much closer. And the next thing I know, we had a trip to vietnam, will be going on a trip to nepal and are still hanging out a lot. ANd the most interesting thing is that we actually belong to the same Dialect group: HOCK CHIA. WOah.. its like damn hard to find and not only did I finally find someone in the same dialect group, it turned out that we are so close and clique so well too.

We would have endless talks, big and small on life, food, people, family. HAHa... All the delicious hock chia dishes... haha.. when we start to describe them we couldnt stop laughing too cos it was one topic no one else who belongs to another dialect group can understand.

AHAH.. and i was so touched when you told me that ya mum actually began to buy things for you AND ME. AHHA... One for Shi. One for SHi. AHAHAH... JEalous right sy?

THANK YOU SY!! You made my last term in SMU really happy.

Wongso
We sort of grew up together and My uni life wouldnt be the same without you!! And to see you transform from a quiet guy to someone Dancing Salsa and latin ballroom away so gracefully and happily... And have a total reform of image from carrying that blue backpack to now the funky shoulder bag while trying to not look gay. AHAHHA... And the most obvious change is to loose 10 kg in my absence. HAHA... BUT you are still the MR wongso that treasures this friendship and understand me so well after all... AHAH... THANK YOU!!

TRACY, NAS, CHRIS, TARN
We disappeared for exchange together and came back with so much stories to share. HK, London, Denmark, Paris... All the catching up and all the chilling out. I love you girls!! HAHA.. TRacy.. You are always so sweet.. even that valentines' day card you drew for me when I was in bKK.. aHAH so cute. And that thank you note you left for me for the headphones. Woah.. Still have coupon that I can use to redeem hugs from you. AHHA. And all the whining and talking. So funny. I TOTALLY LOVE that NIGHT OUT AT YA PLACE. FANTABULOUS highlight of this sem.
Chris, I hardly get to see you this sem and I really wished I could hang out with you more. AHHA... we always have so much to talk about, gossip and laugh at.
Nas... Funny also. So funny. And so arty farty.. And what VAl's sis said was right, you look good in anything you wear man...
Tarn.. You are also damn hilarious..just the way you talk and how you always make fun of tracy. HAHA..

WILL MISS YOU ALL!!

THANK YOU!!!

Counting down with Santa...

Ohh.... 23 days away from a 23-day trip.

Beary excited!!!

Man, Sy says i need to make sure that I strengthen my health, she thinks im weak cos I always complain to her that Im cold. She is worried about me. She thinks I will have problems surviving the cold. So, Need to eat more "BU Tang". I shall tell mummy. After Im done with this week, Im pretty much a FREE BABE. I felt so free the last time I was on exchange. But that was in Bkk. It was never easy to feel so happy at this point of time. Not on a week 12 of school but I am now, here. So that's great!!!!

Dinner was so fun.. Laugh non stop. I was SO SO hungry by the time my meeting ended and we rushed to our fav kopitiam at SESS. Haha... Crappy Tetsuya is so cute with all his jap gestures... And Dtin was funny too. We had so much fun laughing away. That one hour dinner break made me forget everything that I had in school and on hand. Newly found Andy has now joined my list of meal kakis. HAha... And our group is growing... And I had a really yummy red bean milk ice with a scoop of vanilla ice cream with SY as dessert. Try it peeps!! TRY IT!

And I enjoyed the walk back to school. I was so mesmerised by the decorations on the streets. The Xmas lightings are so pretty!!! Really pretty.... And So we just stroll down the road, I couldnt stop looking at the lights, the deco, and the nice breeze just made everything so soothing and serene.

I missed CNY in sg this year and Im gonna miss Xmas in sg this year too. Regardless of whether I celebrate my Xmas in Kathmandu or Bkk, I am sure to have an awesome time. We have all the guys in Nepal, and in bkk, we have all the girls. HAAH.. Either way, Im happy!! Either way, Sy will be with me. I dun think we will fight. AHAH... cos we did a trial run in Vietnam. No serious problem. We are good. HAha...

Im reading again. Back to those books which were starring at me from the shelves. I love Paulo Coelho. Im back to Zahir. I sort of stopped halfway last year. I have decided to start all over again and Im addicted to it now. Its really great to start every day with a few chapters from a book by ya fav author. No time right? Wrong. Make time.

Im working hard in school. But I seriously played and enjoyed pretty much a lot these days. Guess I really was burnt out during that depression period. Its over. I know this day will come. I know. Haha... Its just that I have no idea exactly how long. But hey, Im doing well... Its only like about a week and Im done.

I have sort of reached the end of my academic year. At least for now. Im enjoying school, my friends, making new friends, laughing, projects, presentations. Im going to miss SMU. The People... A LOT!!! I will miss them SO so much!!! I value relationships I said, And I do. I made really good friends from my projects. It wasnt easy... HAHA.. But Im glad the initiatives and all the hanging out helped. It wasnt really pre-arranged but at least I know that I left with many more friends than I would otherwise have.

Blabber Blabber Shi....

Enough. gotta go prepare for my pressie tom. I have to present 18 slides, I cant run away from a neat preparation this time. HAha.. They gave me half the air time And I cant screw all of us Up! This is my last longest presentation. I mean I have 2 more pressies to finish but this is really the one that I have to present the most. What a way to spend my last sem! I will remember... And If time permits, I shall be able to catch Pretige tom night. Not sure if it is still showing. But surely I wanna catch that show in the theatres!!

I was once told....

" You are a stubborn person"
" You need a logical reason for every advice"
" And maturity attributes very much to a sound and wise advice which is also convincing"

I guess I am still very much like that.
Convince Me and I wont appear to be stubborn.
Im not the stubborn for the sake of being stubborn kind. But if ya reasons and arguements dont make sense to me, I cannot accept them. I AM absolutely open to different points of view, but not different logic of things. Im not sure if this is good or bad. And many people like to rely on the fact that something is possible to back up their argument but we all know, in this world, if something is not probable, what is the point. But that doesnt mean that i dun look at possibilities, cos I know very often, at the end of the day, we make things happen. And that, only happens cos we know and firmly believe that they are possible.

I will fight and continue only to the point that I think it is worth. Reasons are reasons, outcomes are outcomes. I stop because, there is no meaning anymore. That's all. Not because I agree, or am convinced with the presented set of arguments.

I cannot stand the attitude and the excuses. And I think that was what made me stop. Enough.

Because Why??

Adrian is the number one entertainer in school man. It has never been a chore doing project with him. Perhaps he enjoys the attention from all of us as he is the only guy. The frequency of us bursting into laughter and the volume of each of such attack was record breaking in my whole SMU life. Haha... And he and dawnie are so cute... after so long... still so cute. AHAH

All the stupid because why... all the laughing at people.. damn mean!!!! But very funny.

Interacted with the HK students yesterday. Good to make more international friends. And this is the most international year for me ever. The different perspectives, cultures, languages... But at the end of the day, if you can click, you can! And that brings me back to Tetsuya. He has those funky jap hairstyle.. long, nicely gelled. And that day when i met him again, the hair was shorter. But still damn nice. And he told me he cut it himself. My GAWWDDD.... Cant believe it. And Darryl said he uses 3 different kinds of gel here. And back in Tokyo, he has like 10 plus kinds of gel!He is also another funny guy. HAha... So polite, proper and no nonsense at the beginning until you see bits and pieces of the nonsense spilling over. And he always reminds me of my dear JY!!! AHAH... The kind of friendship, undersanding and camaraderie is just intriguely strong. Very often... we just cannot stop laughing, be it a case of laughing at each other or with each other.

Yes... Sy going to leave for HK exchange next year. And yes, I will definitely visit her. Gal, go recce the place, the best Dim Sum, BO LO YAO, Dan TART, CUTE guys, Shopping and THONG SHUI... AHHA Cant wait to go. Before that, my birthday first k? AHAH... Cannot run away!!!

Santa Santa... Talk to the Thai airways peeps ok?
I wanna stopover BKK... Just grant me this wish for this XMAS k?

It's not worth it.

Its time to work hard. 3 pressies next week. Yet, I have been having loads of fun too.

So fun to hang out at SESS kopitiam late at night after project to eat and talk. And chit chat till later, cos it was already late when we reach there and there seems to be never ending things to talk about. New friends. New hang out. New experience.

Yesterday night we went to Chijmes. And oh, my fav China jump bar is gone. And I didnt know that. Still remembered they had one of the best steak. Its been many years since I last went to that place. So there is this new place called Laboroque. Its a nice club/pub thingy, not crowded, not smoky, Great music and the live band was superb! I had a really good time chilling out there yesterday.

Tonight was just as crazy... Darryl was so nice to be the chauffer of the day. Chinatown was fun. Went to check out the winter clothes. Marina south was fun but not great. Havent been there for like ages... REAlly like since sec school days... back then when it was like $10 each. BasicallyI cant stand the smoke and the terrible BBQ smell that lingered but i enjoyed the company! And next up we went to Esplanade to have "ah Pek's ice cream". Talk crap, listen to the live band songs, immerse ourselves in the beautiful scenary... And just laugh a lot. Haha...

I have just broken my routine to sleep b4 1230am. Not good. But now I see.. Not bad. Cos not for long for the enjoyment.

Im counting down. Counting down man. In no time Im gonna be gone. In search of my happiness. Though I think I already sort of found it. But I know, the experience, the interaction, the whole process, especially when Im surrounded by great mountaineous view, is something beyond words to describe and something no one else understands. It is an important quest for me. Something very addictive and only the like will understand. I follow my gut feeling. So far, it has been good.

A lot of great things in life involve great spritual risks, at least, I have done it, tried my best, and was very sure of what I was doing. And I have tried my best. That is all that matters. And when i say my best, i meant every single bit of my best. Not a mere I tried. Not a mere I think I tried. BUt I tried my best. The outcome is not up to me. What will be, will be. The value of things is obvious too. What matters and what not. Not everything in life can be measured. I know what I value. I know what im worth. That's all that is important. I will work on my dream and keep my happiness. No regrets to the decision And I know I wont. It is not worth it.

I always believe that we reap what we sow. What goes around will come around for sure. It is only a matter of time. And that is what Karma is all about. . Sometimes it is not obvious, but it cant be ALL the time. And for sure, it will be, one day. And I have learnt my lesson well, only to be blessed that it was afterall, a very important one which will change the way I see things from now on just so that now I sort of understand myself more and have a few more addition to my criteria for the "elimination" list.

Until I find out what I want.....

Lost

I slept in. And allowed myself to do so. Its been a while.

I realised that somehow, my sleep is being disrupted again.

As a woman, I am proven time and time again that I should listen to that voice, that strong feeling inside me.

As a woman brought up in this modern city where the pace of life is so fast, faster than the speed that we are allowed to develop our soul, Im taught to be rational in my decisions.

As a Buddhist, Im suppose to let go and at least, be free of all desires, clingings, anything that is keeping me trapped in this state of mind.

As a learner in school, we are often told to hold on tight to our passions, our dreams and what we see and believe.

What do I do now?

Im lost. Im scared. I dun have the courage to face it again.

For a GOOD CAUSE...

Dear All,

I will be embarking on a community service trip to NEpal this december with my teammates from SMU to help furnish the school in this village in Pokhara.. We would also be interacting with the kids, introducing English to them as well as helping to train the teachers there to teach English. There are about 150 children in the whole school and the ammenities are pretty much just the bare essentials. There are more children out there who are deprived of a chance to attend school for they are all helping out at this mine near their village to help bring some income home, they are so called the "child labour".


We are currently raising funds for these kids by selling postcards with pictures of Nepal in them, some with the beautiful scenary of Nepal, others with pics of these children. 100% of the money raised would go to the children. What we would do is that we would need ya address, and we will have these children write a little thank you note and we will post these postcards back to you. Postage is at our cost!

Postcards are selling at $10 each. It is for a good cause.

We also accept donations of larger denominations as well as sponsorships for stationaries, big story books, etc for the kids!

GIVING LEADS TO LOVE, GIVING LEADS TO CARE...
HESITATE NOT!!

And help us help the KIDS K?

CheerS
SHI

*Side track*
Oooohhhhh... It seems like our wish to stopover and not merely transit BKK is coming true. Exciting isnt it? Not knowing exactly where, how and with who the XMAS will be spent. HAHA...

If only Wai wai is coming to join us in bkk.. that would be fun! But her HCM trip is going to be great too.. Cos she will have Duong there with her to guide her. Its ok. I cant wait to meet up with Jy. Be it SG or BKK. Doesnt matter.

Santa Santa... Grant Me my wish and get me my pressie on ya sleigh ok?

Im BEARY HAPPIE

HAha....

Yes, im happy. It is not the extremely high and excited kind of happiness. Its the feeling of being at the optimal state of happiness. Like a Neutral point. I guess it has been a long long while since I was last able to be in this state. Well... The last time I felt this way was 1999 and before... In singapore I mean. Shall not state the obvious but you all know what I mean lah.

Anyway, I guess I lost my footing after I came back from Bkk. I never really have time to adjust back to my Sg life and that is no good. I guess I lost the optimal point. I was totally lost. I knew something was not right but I cant really pin point. I thought all was good until I finally know what went wrong. I was not ready for myself.

Shi went through so much and wasnt happy cos she doesnt know what she want. She doesnt know how to get what she want. She was lost. Very lost. And she died. And now she live. Living...

It's been a long long while man... And yup.. Im going to stay like that for at least a year... What Cy said makes sense. And Yes... That should be the way.

Im meeting and getting to know more new people this sem. Haha.. It's fun! Im getting closer to my Ra-ou-l Peeps too. Had lunch with Clement and Joe today. Gonna hang out more! And there is the Mummi Jennifer, cannot stop talking once she starts... very cool and steady Ken, Cute Amin whom i havent had the chance to meet in a long while, composed and funny jiani.. Full of rubbish lionel whom I will have to treat him better for more free rides home, Crazy Alicia, always stressed out Amy, Ultimate jenny + very fierce sister Jackie, and now very stress Qin Mei... Ahaha... I Will miss you all.. Dun have much time to spend with you all le... So now I must work more. Its really fun! We laugh more than we cry lah... AHAH in case you are wondering!

Wanna share this with you all... I ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS STORY from my little saviour book : Settling back into the moment - A meditator's inspirational Guide. I value my religion cos it has already been part of my life and I adopt Buddhism cos of its teachings, which focuses on myself, my own actions, my thinking, my happiness and not someone else's.

There is a kind of monkey trap used in Asia. A coconut is hollowed out and attached by a rope to a tree or stake in the ground. At the bottom of the coconut a small slit is made and some sweet food is placed inside. The hole on the bottom of the coconut is just big enough for the monkey to slide in his open hand, but does not allow for a closed fist to pass out. The monkey smells the sweets, reaches in with his hand to grasp the food and is then unable to withdraw it.

The clenched fist wont pass through the opening. When the hunters come, the monkey becomes frantic but cannot get away. There is no one keeping that monkey captive, except the force of its own attachement. All that it has to do is to open the hand. But so strong is the force of greed in the mind that it is a rare monkey which can let go.

It is the desires and clinging in our minds which keep us trapped. All we need to do is to open our hands, let go of ourselves, our attachments and be Free.

From my Dearest Jy!!

hello shi how r u??

do u still work hard everday?

anyway i want to show u the loikratong pictures
nov. 5 is the Thai festival sending kratong(rotus made of paper with candles) to river i went to Chula and take beautiful pictures wow....so nice....fantastic there are many candles floating on the pond(do u remeber the small pond located center of chula?) and fireworks in the sky and sparklings small snack bars also were in the campus and spread good smells in the air that makes me hungry

ahahah there are many game places held on the side of road such as pinching balloons, throwing flip to needled table and putting the small balls in the cups

I think u also like this festival if u r here enjoy loikratong with pictures ahahah^^

Hang In There

Hey everyone.. Hang in there... It will be over soon!!

This is the worst period in school every term. Everyone is kind of going crazy...
Tracy, Nas you two are so stress now too... If you guys need a pair of arms to run into, mine is available thought they have shrunk a bit during the past week. Thanks for all the hugs you guys are giving me. All of us need one another now. Wanna cry, hurry cry and move on. Wanna complain, whine, etc, do it and move on. Will be over soon!!

I thought I would be ok. But I broke down so badly after i managed to finally get myself out of the class during break cos I couldnt hold back anymore and there is just so much tears that I can swollow back into my eyes. Think it took about 30 min. After that I was done. And yes, I was done for the day. I felt much better. Thank you for being there. I would otherwise not have been able to pass my day yesterday. I managed to get back to my projects and meet my teammates to complete stuff.

Had Yong Tau Foo soup for dinner. Was the first real meal in many days. I barely ate the past few days. Not that I did it on purpose, but I was so stressed, I couldnt tell if I was hungry or I was just stressed. And when I tried to eat, I couldnt. I really tried. And when Shi says she cant eat... you know the problem is real big...

I know that Im ok when finally, late at 1130pm, I told Sy and Wongso that I am hungry. I asked if they wanna have supper, both of them said yes. I know that you guys arent hungry... and I really appreciate it when you are just trying to make sure that I actually eat. And yes... I was so so happy when I ate the "chee Cheong Fun" from the 24 hr kopitiam near school. It was not of a fantastic quality but Im just glad that Im beginning to feel hungry and beginning to start eating normally. That was the best Chee Cheong Fun in my life. Thank you guys!

Im good, not perfect but I guess Im good now. I see myself moving out of the depression. Adequate sleep, getting the momentum in my work and beginning to eat more. Will gym more too...

Should start counting down to my Nepal trip... I will embrace myself in the arms of the mountains... and let the beautiful scenary take my breathe away... Cant wait to meet the people there, play with the kids, have fun with my Nameste team.

JiaYou Shi!

Ra-ou-l

I woke up today, not by the alarm, but by the problem. It has been like that for the past week.
Depressed week I had.

And i forced myself to go to work. Im glad I went.

I had fun at work with my collegues. We are a close bunch of peeps. But I was utterly shocked finding out about A's and B's stories. Two seperate stories. I woke up. The stories woke me up. These are not really stories, but the happenings and incidents that A and B have gone through and are going through.

As for A, that woke me up from my depression.

As for B's story, I would really pray for him. I didnt know. I really didnt expect that to happen. He bought me a drink today and refused to let me pay back. Im glad I did bring some smile to him. Some happiness. Even though they didnt last long. But I guess for that one or two seconds, he was happy. I dunno what I would do If I were to be in their positions. I cant imagine myself being so strong.

I admire a lot of my colleagues. Sales is really a very very tough job. The long standing hours aside, imagine how much pain it involves to just smile and have to keep smiling and greeting customers and put whatever problems we have inside away.

Going through a break up you have to smile.

Going through marriage crisis, knowing that ya husband has decided to leave you for someone else, you have to smile.

Serious family problems and you have to smile.

When you dun even know how long more you are able to live, you have to smile.

We cant even cry too hard the night before for the swollen eyes will make all the hiding ineffective.

There were many times I remembered, the moment the customer left the shop, tears will well up my eyes. And sometimes when customers just walk in, I have to somehow stop whatever Im feeling, including making sure that that very drop of tear in my eyes doesnt fall and get on. The shop at MW is not just a place I sough refuge many times throughout my uni life. There are a lot of memories there. A place where I sort of grew up, emotionally.

What am I going to do if I only have a few months left to live?
Can I plan my funeral the way Morris did?
Who will turn up and will I get to hear the Eulogy that people write for me?
Will I receive my favourite flowers?
Will I be able to know how many people's lives I have touched?
Will I be able to withstand the pain of seeing my loved ones all upset because Im no longer able to stay in this world?
Will I be able to leave this world with no regrets?
- to have done all the things that I have always wanted to do.
- to love and give passionately with no fear of getting hurt?
-to have spent enough time with the people who cared for me, loved me, and whom I care and love too?

I want to live every moment to the fullest. I wanna put in every effort in all that I engage in right now. Life is too short, so short...

Thank you Wongso!

I must really thank Wongso for being the best friend ever and always be there for me no matter what happens. Thank you for the effort. And ya professional training helps a lot too of course, I think you should start charging, start with other people ok? I must have the lifetime free membership.

Cant believe how you turned my mood around. I think i leeched all ya energy away. Sorry, know ya game theory presentation next week, yet you went all out to help me. Thank you. And thanks for introducing me to that dunno what cow's lung and stomach at "FAT MAN SATAY". Woah... I already was losing appetite until you told me that that piece of "satay" in my mouth is stomach.

And once again, you kept me entertained on the train with Josh's car scratching Habit, ya shoulder problem, and all ya complaints about me since eons ago. They werent so funny back then but woah.. AHHAHAAH... Cannot stop laughing!!!

Thanks for calling and just listening. It is not even like i called and wanted you to listen. YOU CALLED!!! Thank you!!!!


Anyway, I see things clearer. I believe with more sleep, I would be able to get out of this temporal depression. I have been through worst. So there should not be any major problem.

I understand that the withdrawal syndromes will take a while to wear off. THe good news is, it will wear off eventually.

Tracy told me: " I wanna see that Happy wanshi again!"

HAPPY WANSHI IS ON THE WAY!!!!... Be patient ok?

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

TWELVE.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

THIRTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson

FOURTEEN.
Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

FIFTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

SIXTEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

SEVENTEEN.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

EIGHTEEN.
Spend some time alone

On a Saturday morning

I couldnt sleep well last night, rather, this morning. I finished my report eventually at 4am. 14 hours of work everyday is pretty straining on on the body. Im tired. Emotionally more than physically. I cant stop though. Im not sure if this is good or bad, that I have neverending work, work that requires intense brain power to think, to have to be so meticulous that we cannot forget the details, yet we have to settle certain attitude problems of people within the team which left me totally exhausted at the end of the day, to think of anything else.

I think I am beginning to pick up the skill of shoving things aside and not to think about it. But the thing is, I am still not very good at it yet cos every 2-3 days when i reach my quota, it spills over.

I woke up breathing well and I was up long before the alarm went. Im exhausted still, but my brain cant seem to shut down. When you are physically tired, you get quality rest. When you are emotionally tired, resting doesnt come in the form of inactivity, it comes in the form of seeking solace from somewhere, someone or something. What happens when you are both physically and emotionally tired? You do both but you only get a fraction of both.

Life goes on. Well. As far as I remember, I never quite understood what people mean when they said that they have a headache. I guess, I will now not forget what a headache is like when this head of mine went throbbing with pain, not acute but disturbing pain everyday for the past week.

I have things to do, a lot in fact, but I have to steal time to pen some thoughts here. It is therapeutic and it helps me sort out my thinking better and see my thoughts clearer. Sometimes it is not about the content that I wrote, but the process and the rationalisation and thinking that went into me drafting an entry that makes the difference.

I guess I can never truly get away from work and stress till I eventually reach the highlands of Nepal. Speaking of which, on a lighter tone... HAHA... I had lots of fun with my teammates to nepal. They are truly funny. All of then unique but when you put them all together, they can perform some live talk show that generates neverending jokes and funny lines. We were at TTSH for our typhiod jabs. Even such a simple gathering for jabs can bring so much laughter. Cutie Jac gave us a ride back to school and I missed the chance to get the portuguese egg tart at Novena square. hmm...

Lunch was at 1200pm, that was Brunch actually and my next meal was at 930pm. Intense intense.... And I would like to officially announce that the number one company that I am SICK of is LEnovo.. Writing a case... hoping to meet Davis's high standard is killing us. And The analyst report we are coming up for the same company is also very tough BUT, we have MENG ZI. And there is AIRBUS. Although Im left with 3 modules this sem, the intensity of these 3 projects are killing me...

When can I get a good sleep?

When can I go for K lunch?

When can I go for a movie?

When can I go Shop shop?

When can I see Baby Dyason and nelle?

Havent seen mummy for almost 2 weeks. Cant believe right? Hiaz...

Which do you belong?

High expectations, High Effort => Best partners ever, will be able to tide through anything and
everything that comes along... Especially so for Life time partners.

High Expectations, Low Effort => Bloody Free riders. Free ride everything that they can.


Low Expectations, High Effort => These are good partners with potential to be the best partners cos the simply lack some direction but the attitude is there.

Low Expectations, Low Effort => Pure liability. Worst than free riders cos they cannot even contribute to any idea cos they simply see nothing and are willing to put in nothing. Wasting everyone's time.

Depending on ya luck, these are in short, the kinds of people you meet everyday in ya team. You cannot control the kind of people that you meet. But, you can control the category that you are in. Success doesnt fall from the sky. WE make success. WE work towards it. The outcome is not within our control, but we can make sure that we do everything we can to reach that goal. Unless you do not see a goal, you work hard.

Life is short. Dun settle for anything mediocre when you know you are capable of having the best as long as you put in the effort.

"Insanity is trying to do the same thing the same way over and over again and expecting different results."
- IF you failed previously, please understand why and change. By repeating the same old ways of doing things and holding the same attitudes for everything else that comes along will only yield the same results.

Life is about making progress. The most important progress are not the ones that we can quantify and have a piece of paper stating how many As we have, not defined by the namecard stating which company you work for, neither is it defined by that number in ya bank account. These are important yes but not the MOST important. Those things are transient. The greatest progress is you discovering ya strengths and leveraging them. The greatest progress is you understanding ya weaknesses and improving them. Stay STAGNANT, and you are only as old as the year that you stopped improving and changing. You are essentially, only as good as the day you stopped improving. And if that is many many years back, please do something about it NOW.

Everyone is selfish. Nobody in this world can make another person change. One can truly change only when he sees the need and he motivates himself to change. No one else can do that. Other people can influence, but the motivation comes from within.

Think of what you want when you are 80 years old. FIrst of all, please SEE that you can reach that age and secondly, believe that you can reach that age. Then, ASk yourself what would be the MOST IMPORTANT to you when you are at that age. MONEY? FAME? FAMILY? And family, do we mean we want to have kids but have real bad relationship with our spouses? Somehow both my grandparents, and I mean my maternal and paternal ones, are at loggerheads with each other. Yes, There is the children, the grandchildren and even the great grandchildren. BUT, if at the end of the same, you are still ALONE, what is the point of having all these family members?

And Im most impressed with the elderly couples who still hold each others' hands and still do things together and keep that relationship growing and are still very sweet. I wanna be like that when Im 70 years old. I wanna have someone to share the joy of a family with me, not alone. Building a career is difficult, only in the first few years. Building a family is worst, it is about a lifetime commitment and effort.

I wanna live my life to the fullest. I will work to build my career to the best of my capability. I wanna have a family at the end of the day. Be a Wife. Be a mother. Be a grandmother. Playing these different roles in my life, improving and learning as I progress. Sometimes things dun turn out well but its ok, I learn and I move on. And I seek to find someone who can progress with me as he progresses through the milestones in his life too. And at the age of 60, we are still holding each others' hand, travelling, enjoying life, tonnes of topic to talk about, tonnes of joke to share, and lots of grandchildren to pamper. Helping out the younger ones when they have problems, keeping the relationship close-knitted and keeping everyone's spirit alive. This is, a family. Not defined by the number of people or the fact that there is a complete set of members. Rather, it is the spiritual closeness, the happiness that defines it.

This is the life I see myself to be in.

I will work towards it.