I would like to dedicate the extract below to all my blog readers. This is an exerpt on the human nature's openness to challenge. Im not sure at which point of ya life you are at but i hope this message will stay with you and may be useful at this juncture the way it is and is working for me.
"A life of total dedication to the truth also means a life of willingness to be personally challenged. The only way we can be certain that our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the criticism and challenge of other map makers. Otherwise, we live in a closed system --Within a bell Jar. To use Sylvia Plath's analogy, rebreathing only our own fetid air, more and more subject to delusion. Yet, because of the pain inherent in the process of revising our map of reality we mostly seek to avoid or ward off any challenges to its validity. The tendency to avoid challenge is so omnipresent in human beings that it can properly be considered a characteristic of human nature. But calling it natural doesnt mean it is essential or beneficial or unchangeable. It is also natural to defecate in our pants and never brush our teeth. Yet, we teach ourselves to do the unnatural until the unnatural becomes itself second nature. Indeed, all self discipline may be defined as teaching ourselves the unnatural. Another characteristic of the human nature -- perhaps the one that makes us most human -- is our capacity to do the unnatural, to trandscend and hence transform our own nature."--- The Road Less Travelled - A new psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth, M. Scott Peck, MDCurrently im sitting on my sofa, Acer on my lap, headphones on, enjoying the peacefulness of the night. I caught up and manage to clear the last bit of my sleep debt this afternoon. I woke up later, fresh. Fresh to a lot of feelings. Fresh to a lot that was happening at this point of time. Fresh to pain too. It took me about 3 hours to finally get that feeling off me. Thanks to all those on MSN who made me laugh so hard. Also, did i mention b4 that the night view of bangkok from my balcony is not only breathtaking... it is therapeutic. I love my CIARA songs too... Music really work wonders. Tracy!!! The song you are playing in ya blog now is REALLY NICE TOO... its so soothing... You know... this is the really "high" feeling that i enjoy being with just myself, facing all I have to, spending time listening to what i have to say and doing constant reflection of my life. Maybe that is what meditation is all about. I wasnt in an official position and all... but to face the pain.. and go through every single part of it, though i know that it will soon return, but the very fact that i faced it till it subsided made me feel renewed. I feel stronger. I know i would almost not have any chance like now to really take myself physically and emotionally on a vacation. No more. Im away from a lot of problems. Im away from a lot of responsibilities. ANd i do treasure every minute and every second of time here. I wanna be a better me. Not in terms of any complex indicator. Just simply, on the happiness scale. That is all i ask for and am working towards. I need to understand myself better, love myself more before i can bring the same happiness to people around me.
I no longer run away. I no longer shove issues aside. I dun wanna have an answer to everyone and at the end of the day not being able to face myself. I believe there are a bit more to go... About 40 days left in this LAnd of smiles... I wanna be... " SAME SAME, BUT DIFFERENT".