Although i lost myself very much the past 6 weeks at work, for the past 3 weeks, I got so much closer to my department.
For some reasons, after putting everything aside, I got a lot closer to all of them. I look forward to every lunch and even after work, I would rush off so that I can take the same train with them back.
Im not sure what and how i should take away from these 6 weeks.
At the end of the day, I have to accept and just be patient.
Wongso keeps telling me, there is no need to understand every single thing that happens in life. There is no need to understand why certain things happen and why certain people behave in a certain way. Honestly, accepting without understanding is my biggest mental obstacle and all these coupled with unconditional patience is something i am still trying very very hard to work on.
I cant blindly accept. I cant quietly and blindly accept whatever that happens. I need to understand, be told or as least find out the underlying objective.
Otherwise, I will be miserable. And yes, I was miserable, and im slightly miserable now but well, it is getting better. Time is sometimes the best medicine to all. After a while, you will just be numb. Soon enough, things will become less disturbing... slowly slowly... the acceptance will grow.
The biggest distraction that I have been waiting for the longest time is finally coming...
Im sure I will be able to stay happy, at least for the next few days.
I have problems falling alseep during and after my facial massage. I suppose i cant meditate well too. My mind is just not calm. I have seen so many people fall asleep during massages... but I cant. Even when im on face mask, and the whole environment is so soothing and peaceful, I cant sleep, my mind cannot rest.
What should I do abt this?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
When uncertainty dominates all
Im now officially CC's “小情人”
Dunno to be happy or to be sad.
Never expected the bosses to be so open. Price to pay? Let them tease until they happy.
Im looking forward to the little beach getaway this weekend anyway...
HE said this is a mini one.. and also to satisfy my urge to be near the sea.
Next up we should be going to KL and Genting. My virgin trip to Genting...
After this, we might have to part for another 1 month... either that or I will be joining him there and we wont be back till CNY.
After CNY, i dun think anyone can catch me in SG at least for another 6 months.
With all the above thoughts, maybe the current situation is a blessing in disguise that I should not complain more.
The plan B of mine should still go on.
Dunno to be happy or to be sad.
Never expected the bosses to be so open. Price to pay? Let them tease until they happy.
Im looking forward to the little beach getaway this weekend anyway...
HE said this is a mini one.. and also to satisfy my urge to be near the sea.
Next up we should be going to KL and Genting. My virgin trip to Genting...
After this, we might have to part for another 1 month... either that or I will be joining him there and we wont be back till CNY.
After CNY, i dun think anyone can catch me in SG at least for another 6 months.
With all the above thoughts, maybe the current situation is a blessing in disguise that I should not complain more.
The plan B of mine should still go on.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Two more days and still, it seems like forever.
Great meeting up with Tracy and Adrian.
Time passes by fast and again.. we can always go on and on.... and we talk about anything and everything.
After talking to a few of the peeps around me, and after hearing their advice, I think i am now more ready to move on and work on things.
Im extremely sleepy now though.
Should I sleep or should I continue with it? BUt I wont have time to do it during the weekends...
Great meeting up with Tracy and Adrian.
Time passes by fast and again.. we can always go on and on.... and we talk about anything and everything.
After talking to a few of the peeps around me, and after hearing their advice, I think i am now more ready to move on and work on things.
Im extremely sleepy now though.
Should I sleep or should I continue with it? BUt I wont have time to do it during the weekends...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Low
If you dont have values, not even the basic ones, you dun have much.
Im not going to stoop to your level and be made a victim once again. Although this time round I am a different kind of victim, still, you took away the very last bit of what was left.
So this shall be it.
Im glad I walked out of it all.
Not qualified to be even called a friend.
Im not going to stoop to your level and be made a victim once again. Although this time round I am a different kind of victim, still, you took away the very last bit of what was left.
So this shall be it.
Im glad I walked out of it all.
Not qualified to be even called a friend.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Play overdose
I was supposed to sleep at 10pm. Now it's almost 12 midnight and im still hanging around.
Reached home at almost 6am on Sunday early morning, from Sat night's outing. It was really fun and it was a rather nice mix of peeps.
Cant believe I did the following all on a sat night:
Reached home at almost 6am on Sunday early morning, from Sat night's outing. It was really fun and it was a rather nice mix of peeps.
Cant believe I did the following all on a sat night:
- Holland V XO fish head noodles+Ngoh Hiang+San Lao+Prawn sauce chix+vegetables with oyster sauce
- Haagen Diaz
- Prawning @ Bishan Park
- Party World
But I really had a great time laughing and laughing right through
Today, CC called me at 1030am..
I forced myself up to attend a cousin's baby's first month celebration.
Went to the suntec book fair with my sis. Shop. Ate dinner.
Came back home...
I was totally totally exhausted throughout the day. My mind and body arent really in sync i feel.
Another round of KTV tom.
Im kind of busy this week... and yes.. counting down....
I seriously need to go grab some sleep.
Nightie
Saturday, November 22, 2008
H.E.L.P
I caught an episode of H.E.L.P on CNA.
I was immediately reminded of those days back in Nepal.
The H.E.L.P project assisted villages to get out of their cycle of poverty. However, due to the insufficient funds, only 10 priviledged families are included in the program. According to Tommy, the guy who was approached to help head this project, these villages do not own the farm lands in their village. They were always at the command of the land owners and hence, their income is not very much within their control and aboveall, it is always insufficient.
An interview with a man revealed that his family consisting of 4 kids needed USD 3 a day to get by but he is only earning a mere USD1.2 to USD2.0 each day.
I cant help but compare at how my life is now and how things are at all these places around the world. Surely there is something I can continue to do. Surely things cant stopped at Nepal.
I guess I understand where Chris was coming from that day about her wanting to do more for the community. I would very much wanna continue this too.
And I hope that we can do it together!
Well... I didnt know how jialat my Hokkien was, until I had to explain to ah gong was the documentary was about. I had to fall back to mandarin cos my hokkien sentence structure is a bit wrong. Plus my vocab also not that good and most importantly, this isnt daily conversation, it is explaining things like farming, land owner, poverty etc etc.. haha. And maybe that's why i keep practising my hokkkien with CC whenever we are overseas, especially in China.. so that people dun understand what we are talking.
Haha.. Not sure if I blogged about this. Two trips ago, when i was in China and in one of the meetings, it was done in cantonese. HAha.. they ask me if i understand cos the other guy who was in his mandarin is pretty weak and the guy chairing the meeting wasnt confident of his english. AHhaa. and we did it in cantonese. I can understand but i never had the chance to practise... But that was quite fun.. interesting.
I was immediately reminded of those days back in Nepal.
The H.E.L.P project assisted villages to get out of their cycle of poverty. However, due to the insufficient funds, only 10 priviledged families are included in the program. According to Tommy, the guy who was approached to help head this project, these villages do not own the farm lands in their village. They were always at the command of the land owners and hence, their income is not very much within their control and aboveall, it is always insufficient.
An interview with a man revealed that his family consisting of 4 kids needed USD 3 a day to get by but he is only earning a mere USD1.2 to USD2.0 each day.
I cant help but compare at how my life is now and how things are at all these places around the world. Surely there is something I can continue to do. Surely things cant stopped at Nepal.
I guess I understand where Chris was coming from that day about her wanting to do more for the community. I would very much wanna continue this too.
And I hope that we can do it together!
Well... I didnt know how jialat my Hokkien was, until I had to explain to ah gong was the documentary was about. I had to fall back to mandarin cos my hokkien sentence structure is a bit wrong. Plus my vocab also not that good and most importantly, this isnt daily conversation, it is explaining things like farming, land owner, poverty etc etc.. haha. And maybe that's why i keep practising my hokkkien with CC whenever we are overseas, especially in China.. so that people dun understand what we are talking.
Haha.. Not sure if I blogged about this. Two trips ago, when i was in China and in one of the meetings, it was done in cantonese. HAha.. they ask me if i understand cos the other guy who was in his mandarin is pretty weak and the guy chairing the meeting wasnt confident of his english. AHhaa. and we did it in cantonese. I can understand but i never had the chance to practise... But that was quite fun.. interesting.
Same Same
Oh i never expected my nightout with Dr heng to end so early.
We ended up at Brewerks for dinner and drinks. The food was pretty good but i was so busy chatting that by the time it was my turn to listen, i realised my hunger pangs have subsided. We ended up having a lot of leftovers.
I think we were trying to catch up and chat what we have missed out in almost, say 1 year? HAHA
But one thing didnt change, how fast we could always jump back into all sorts of conversations and start to talk about life.
It's so like Sex and the city. I dun think I fit any of the 4 characters there though.
And it seems that the batch of Drs had a gathering at brewerks and she ended up looking like a recept to all the batch mates and every 20 min she would be waving to someone.
Well... lots and loads of stories...
Ahaha.. I dun think i will look at doctors the same way anymore. Maybe I forgot that they were afterall humans like you and I. So no, they are not at a "higher" level.
Im looking forward to tomorrow's outing. I wonder if we will be hanging out with the same group of people. And very soon comes sunday. And then the week days should whisk by...
Waiting...
We ended up at Brewerks for dinner and drinks. The food was pretty good but i was so busy chatting that by the time it was my turn to listen, i realised my hunger pangs have subsided. We ended up having a lot of leftovers.
I think we were trying to catch up and chat what we have missed out in almost, say 1 year? HAHA
But one thing didnt change, how fast we could always jump back into all sorts of conversations and start to talk about life.
It's so like Sex and the city. I dun think I fit any of the 4 characters there though.
And it seems that the batch of Drs had a gathering at brewerks and she ended up looking like a recept to all the batch mates and every 20 min she would be waving to someone.
Well... lots and loads of stories...
Ahaha.. I dun think i will look at doctors the same way anymore. Maybe I forgot that they were afterall humans like you and I. So no, they are not at a "higher" level.
Im looking forward to tomorrow's outing. I wonder if we will be hanging out with the same group of people. And very soon comes sunday. And then the week days should whisk by...
Waiting...
Friday, November 21, 2008
Dr Heng in da house...
Im looking forward to the meet up tonight. Dr Heng.. ahah..
I went: Eh, you Dr Heng already or still havent graduate?
Dr Heng: Wa Lau, that was like 6-7 months ago already lor.
I went: Ohhhh.... sorry sorry... we havent been catching up lor...
Dr: Cos you are always in China
Wow...
I really miss you man.
Tons of updates.
TGIF!!
I went: Eh, you Dr Heng already or still havent graduate?
Dr Heng: Wa Lau, that was like 6-7 months ago already lor.
I went: Ohhhh.... sorry sorry... we havent been catching up lor...
Dr: Cos you are always in China
Wow...
I really miss you man.
Tons of updates.
TGIF!!
7 days....
I am missing you so absolutely much.
I cant wait...
This is driving me crazy...
COME BACK NOW!!!
& I hope that I can be with you on your BDAE! Keeping my fingers crossed. Hopefully we can spend it together... JB, YT or SG?
Since when did 7 days ever feel so far away??
Today, AT was telling me about cheap cheap air tickets on Jetstar. HAha.. and we found out that Tiger had cheap tickets for sale for an earlier period. Sigh..but we cant plan... we always cant plan... Taiwan? Macau & HK? I hope I get to go over with you this time round.. and we can certainly enjoy our WHITE XMAS in SEOUL!!
& Next year... let's put OSAKA or TOKYO on our plans...
I hope that we can make it to Sushi land. Afterall, we have already done kim chih land... Im sure Sushi land would be even better!
I hope we get to stay on our own in the nice little YG100 apartment when plans firm up. That would make life so much easier for me when you are busy.
But all is uncertain now
PLEASE help me put all the above hopes in your wish when you blow the candles this dec ok CC? HAHAHA....
I will do that as well in Jan when my turn comes...
So that they will all come true...
I cant wait...
This is driving me crazy...
COME BACK NOW!!!
& I hope that I can be with you on your BDAE! Keeping my fingers crossed. Hopefully we can spend it together... JB, YT or SG?
Since when did 7 days ever feel so far away??
Today, AT was telling me about cheap cheap air tickets on Jetstar. HAha.. and we found out that Tiger had cheap tickets for sale for an earlier period. Sigh..but we cant plan... we always cant plan... Taiwan? Macau & HK? I hope I get to go over with you this time round.. and we can certainly enjoy our WHITE XMAS in SEOUL!!
& Next year... let's put OSAKA or TOKYO on our plans...
I hope that we can make it to Sushi land. Afterall, we have already done kim chih land... Im sure Sushi land would be even better!
I hope we get to stay on our own in the nice little YG100 apartment when plans firm up. That would make life so much easier for me when you are busy.
But all is uncertain now
PLEASE help me put all the above hopes in your wish when you blow the candles this dec ok CC? HAHAHA....
I will do that as well in Jan when my turn comes...
So that they will all come true...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Negotiation 101
I'm now reading this book " Winning negotiations that preserve relationships".
Theories mentioned in the book are not just exceptionally useful for work, but for relationships too.
Firstly, we should avoid peceiving the negotiated issue as a zero-sum game. That means, if either party gains, the other will have to lose out. True enough, this was what made me suffer so much at the beginning. I was not happy because I saw none of my interests catered to. And I felt disturbed and very much, frustrated because I did not want to live with the way things have changed. However, neither party would want to be the losing end. Therefore this is a mentality and a zone to avoid in all negotiations.
The next common obstacle we should get rid of is the way we negotiate (for relationships, discuss). We should negotiate from exploring and putting interests of both parties upfront rather than enter a negotiation and pile the discussion on with each other's bottomline.
If both parties dun understand what the interests of the other party are, by simply having two parties holding firming to each other's bottomline, the whole negotiation will then turn into nothing more than a haggle.
After the recent mini saga that we went through, I look back at how everything went and tried to rationalise with the above theories.
No doubt there are a lot of other theories for negotiations like knowing your BATNA (Best alternative to a negotiated agreement), etc etc, but i think the above two theories are the most important to set the grounds right for negotiation.
I realised, how we eventually made it was when we starting talking and listening to each other's interests. On the ground of us both gaining a win-win position, both winning and not really a zero-sum game like the way we started out, we managed to finally reach a common platform of understanding and I would very much say, a solution for now. With little costs to both parties, we both won the game.
It's certainly not effortless to reach this position. The key to finally reaching a solution also lies in resolving exactly what costs each party should pay, whether both parties are mutually agreeable.
It's important for relationships to have mini systems and processes of all sorts set properly. These are the exact mechanisms that will bring the two through the existing and any obstacle down the road.
Very often, it is also after going through things like that that we grow, not just as individuals, but together. I guess this is what being together is all about at the end of the day.
Theories mentioned in the book are not just exceptionally useful for work, but for relationships too.
Firstly, we should avoid peceiving the negotiated issue as a zero-sum game. That means, if either party gains, the other will have to lose out. True enough, this was what made me suffer so much at the beginning. I was not happy because I saw none of my interests catered to. And I felt disturbed and very much, frustrated because I did not want to live with the way things have changed. However, neither party would want to be the losing end. Therefore this is a mentality and a zone to avoid in all negotiations.
The next common obstacle we should get rid of is the way we negotiate (for relationships, discuss). We should negotiate from exploring and putting interests of both parties upfront rather than enter a negotiation and pile the discussion on with each other's bottomline.
If both parties dun understand what the interests of the other party are, by simply having two parties holding firming to each other's bottomline, the whole negotiation will then turn into nothing more than a haggle.
After the recent mini saga that we went through, I look back at how everything went and tried to rationalise with the above theories.
No doubt there are a lot of other theories for negotiations like knowing your BATNA (Best alternative to a negotiated agreement), etc etc, but i think the above two theories are the most important to set the grounds right for negotiation.
I realised, how we eventually made it was when we starting talking and listening to each other's interests. On the ground of us both gaining a win-win position, both winning and not really a zero-sum game like the way we started out, we managed to finally reach a common platform of understanding and I would very much say, a solution for now. With little costs to both parties, we both won the game.
It's certainly not effortless to reach this position. The key to finally reaching a solution also lies in resolving exactly what costs each party should pay, whether both parties are mutually agreeable.
It's important for relationships to have mini systems and processes of all sorts set properly. These are the exact mechanisms that will bring the two through the existing and any obstacle down the road.
Very often, it is also after going through things like that that we grow, not just as individuals, but together. I guess this is what being together is all about at the end of the day.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Closure 2008
Great.
Cleared off issues left behind earlier.
Everything clear.
Time to file things up and shelve them.
Cleared off issues left behind earlier.
Everything clear.
Time to file things up and shelve them.
CC
Hang in there...
It's going to be over soon.
The final leap and you will be back to civilisation.
No matter how tough the going gets, im here.
Even though it's been rough, im glad we held on.
Phone bill this month will show how hard we tried.
It's all worth it.
Im counting down....
It's going to be over soon.
The final leap and you will be back to civilisation.
No matter how tough the going gets, im here.
Even though it's been rough, im glad we held on.
Phone bill this month will show how hard we tried.
It's all worth it.
Im counting down....
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
well...
Even though im going to be super late for my appointment, im still going to blog this tiny bit.
I will try to re-look my life and look at what's in front of me, what lies ahead and how I should go about managing them. My career goals, aspiritions, emotional well-being, physical health and relationships.
Peace.
I will try to re-look my life and look at what's in front of me, what lies ahead and how I should go about managing them. My career goals, aspiritions, emotional well-being, physical health and relationships.
Peace.
Acceptance
I think it is time I stop fighting.
I should stop fighting for a change.
I have to start fighting, on the other hand, with myself to accept what I do not want to accept.
And it seems like it is also time that I put away all the attachments because these are the exact reasons why I am struggling so hard.
And it doesnt help, to know that I am struggling, alone.
It seems that there is truly no other way.
I have to accept.
Whatever that comes, accept.
No matter how unhappy, accept.
No matter how much im afraid that this might bring about an adverse effect to the relationship which, may be so tricky that these effects are irreversible, still, I have to accept.
Even if it means that I have to struggle through every step of the way, alone, I have to accept.
Because fighting for a change and improvement brought me nowhere.
I fought so hard. We moved a little. We are stuck again.
Im drained. I do not have the energy to fight anymore.
Resigning to fate should be the best solution for now.
I give up.
I should stop fighting for a change.
I have to start fighting, on the other hand, with myself to accept what I do not want to accept.
And it seems like it is also time that I put away all the attachments because these are the exact reasons why I am struggling so hard.
And it doesnt help, to know that I am struggling, alone.
It seems that there is truly no other way.
I have to accept.
Whatever that comes, accept.
No matter how unhappy, accept.
No matter how much im afraid that this might bring about an adverse effect to the relationship which, may be so tricky that these effects are irreversible, still, I have to accept.
Even if it means that I have to struggle through every step of the way, alone, I have to accept.
Because fighting for a change and improvement brought me nowhere.
I fought so hard. We moved a little. We are stuck again.
Im drained. I do not have the energy to fight anymore.
Resigning to fate should be the best solution for now.
I give up.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Moving on
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.
The past 1 month was rather intense in all aspects of my life.
But now. Everything that I manage to push through turned out better.
I feel renewed. I am beginning to see the light and most importantly, the hope again.
Motivation is coming back, albeit slowly...
Im just glad that Im moving on...
Perhaps patience is all I need now. My patience bank has never been rich. Patience credit crunch...
The past 1 month was rather intense in all aspects of my life.
But now. Everything that I manage to push through turned out better.
I feel renewed. I am beginning to see the light and most importantly, the hope again.
Motivation is coming back, albeit slowly...
Im just glad that Im moving on...
Perhaps patience is all I need now. My patience bank has never been rich. Patience credit crunch...
Thursday, November 06, 2008
领悟
不是因钱而起的问题，不能用钱解决, 问题也绝对不会因钱多了，而相应的减少。
因钱而起的问题，不见得一定就要用钱解决，
解决问题的前提在于人最终快不快乐，
若不快乐，一切都变得没意义了。
但是，钱能解决的问题，尽量让钱解决，最重要的还是活的开心。
Peace. Compassion. Acceptance.
I love Buddhism.
因钱而起的问题，不见得一定就要用钱解决，
解决问题的前提在于人最终快不快乐，
若不快乐，一切都变得没意义了。
但是，钱能解决的问题，尽量让钱解决，最重要的还是活的开心。
Peace. Compassion. Acceptance.
I love Buddhism.
How Apt, And I hope so too.. Wish me luck.
Horoscope for PIG, from Yahoo
The day will be positive if you maintain composure in the face of adversity. Your patience will be tested today, but a little tact will have you coming out of it smelling like a rose. Your home life will be harmonious and provide a great amount of happiness.
Horoscope for Capricorn, from Yahoo
You need to slow down a lot and rethink any new plans or schemes that have come your way lately -- there may be hidden flaws that only you are likely to spot. Go over each one with great care!
The day will be positive if you maintain composure in the face of adversity. Your patience will be tested today, but a little tact will have you coming out of it smelling like a rose. Your home life will be harmonious and provide a great amount of happiness.
Horoscope for Capricorn, from Yahoo
You need to slow down a lot and rethink any new plans or schemes that have come your way lately -- there may be hidden flaws that only you are likely to spot. Go over each one with great care!
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