Although i lost myself very much the past 6 weeks at work, for the past 3 weeks, I got so much closer to my department.
For some reasons, after putting everything aside, I got a lot closer to all of them. I look forward to every lunch and even after work, I would rush off so that I can take the same train with them back.
Im not sure what and how i should take away from these 6 weeks.
At the end of the day, I have to accept and just be patient.
Wongso keeps telling me, there is no need to understand every single thing that happens in life. There is no need to understand why certain things happen and why certain people behave in a certain way. Honestly, accepting without understanding is my biggest mental obstacle and all these coupled with unconditional patience is something i am still trying very very hard to work on.
I cant blindly accept. I cant quietly and blindly accept whatever that happens. I need to understand, be told or as least find out the underlying objective.
Otherwise, I will be miserable. And yes, I was miserable, and im slightly miserable now but well, it is getting better. Time is sometimes the best medicine to all. After a while, you will just be numb. Soon enough, things will become less disturbing... slowly slowly... the acceptance will grow.
The biggest distraction that I have been waiting for the longest time is finally coming...
Im sure I will be able to stay happy, at least for the next few days.
I have problems falling alseep during and after my facial massage. I suppose i cant meditate well too. My mind is just not calm. I have seen so many people fall asleep during massages... but I cant. Even when im on face mask, and the whole environment is so soothing and peaceful, I cant sleep, my mind cannot rest.
What should I do abt this?
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