Yes and I shall focus on the positive aspects of life.
Thank you for the smiley equations. That made me cry and laugh at the same time. I guess nobody understood me better, and made me laugh louder.
Thank you for the lovely smses... I know you always cared... and each time we talked, we understand, that is what is the most important.
Thank you for the emails from overseas... For one, I always think of you too JY!! The other one came as a surprise but thank you for caring too. Thank you all, even though you guys are far away.
Thank you for the constant msn messages... Always trying to make sure that Im fine. And talking to me till I finally laugh. Thanks for the effort. And yes, Im waiting for the nuts.
Thank you for staying with me in school. Having meals with me. Eating Ice cream with me. I love trophy!
Thank you for accompanying me home. The long unbearable train rides were for once interesting, and sorry to embarrass you when I laughed so loud that the whole cabin was staring. Sorry. But thank you.
Wonderful people with beautiful mind showing me how sweet life can be. And I appreciate the effort. The effort that came from the heart and warmed mine eventually. Knowing how sweet life can be, despite the projects, despite the tests, despite the stress, you guys are still showering me with love and care...
I shall not compromise for a life less sweet and beautiful than I envisioned it to be.
Because I see it, I want it, and Im sure of it. I will have it. It is only a matter of time.
I got my vision back, never to be taken away again.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
I will fly
Hmm... The retreat at Pulau Ubin was pretty good. I enjoyed all the cycling... especially when the wind blew against my face as I sailed down a slope. The speed gave me an adrenalin surge that was surprisingly therapeutic. And I remembered my first motorbike ride in thailand, at Koh Larn. Surrounded by beautiful mountains and seas, I sailed down the hill on a motorbike. Once in a lifetime experience. That was one of the highlights of my exchange life and as of now, my life too.
Im glad to have a bunch of very fun people for the trip. The guys are really funny. Laughed a lot. I hated the mosquitoes though, as usual. I enjoyed talking to the Auntie there too... She is a really happy and cute old lady, so energetic and full of vitality. I miss her... I will visit her when if i ever set foot on the island again.
And I finally found taxi kakis.. haha.. Adrian and Naresh actually stay so close to me. And they are darn funny. The retreat got us all closer. It was pretty taxing to put everything else behind and just immerse ourselves into the activities. But, I realised it wasnt that difficult afterall. However, the aftermath of what is left after the trip was another great challenge...
I reached home at four plus. Quick dinner, back to working on my project. Took a one hour nap. Continued my work and nap again at around midnight and I continued all the way till 4 plus. Woke up at 9 today to prepare for my class today on Ben and Jerrys. And then it was lunch. And short nap in school and then it was time to prepare for my test on thur. All the projects are haunting me... Arrggh...
Anyway, Im looking forward to my Nepal trip. Never wanted to leave more. However, I have to make sure that I keep myself physically fit. They were warning us of the danger of Hypothermia, when the body temperature drops rapidly below 30 degree and it is pretty serious. And we were told to look out for each other for signs of that condition. Apparently, when one start to tremble or space out a lot, these are symptoms of hypothermia. But then, I space out a lot here and I also tremble a lot leh... I mean even in singapore. Sy!! You must take care of me. If i begin to behave wierdly... You must make sure that I keep my temperature within a safe range. I still wanna come back for my graduation.
Hmm... I still lapse into periods of depression but it is getting better. Thanks to all the friends out there. And belle. I was in tears when i read ya sms. I was really really touched. But I was in class... and that stopped the drama I would have otherwise started. You must take care of yourself. You are the one who really needs to rest too. At this point of time when I needed someone, you all took turns to support me, calling me, smsing me, msning me, talking to me just to ask if I was doing ok. Thank you.
And all these care made me see some things clearer. And it was never clearer. I guess I am now pretty sure of what I want, and I shall not compromise my happiness on issues that are eating my energy away. It is at the end of the day, Not worth it. I know what is real and what is not. Who are the people who truly cared. After sometime, I finally made up my mind.
I used to think that I could not go on. But now, I know what my life is worth and I will not compromise on my happiness. I believe I will get there one day and attain that vision that I see. When I can find my true happiness especially regarding matters of the heart and lead the life that I envision. Life is too short to waste it just like that. Even if I was on the verge of breaking down, I will go on. I WILL FLY.
Im glad to have a bunch of very fun people for the trip. The guys are really funny. Laughed a lot. I hated the mosquitoes though, as usual. I enjoyed talking to the Auntie there too... She is a really happy and cute old lady, so energetic and full of vitality. I miss her... I will visit her when if i ever set foot on the island again.
And I finally found taxi kakis.. haha.. Adrian and Naresh actually stay so close to me. And they are darn funny. The retreat got us all closer. It was pretty taxing to put everything else behind and just immerse ourselves into the activities. But, I realised it wasnt that difficult afterall. However, the aftermath of what is left after the trip was another great challenge...
I reached home at four plus. Quick dinner, back to working on my project. Took a one hour nap. Continued my work and nap again at around midnight and I continued all the way till 4 plus. Woke up at 9 today to prepare for my class today on Ben and Jerrys. And then it was lunch. And short nap in school and then it was time to prepare for my test on thur. All the projects are haunting me... Arrggh...
Anyway, Im looking forward to my Nepal trip. Never wanted to leave more. However, I have to make sure that I keep myself physically fit. They were warning us of the danger of Hypothermia, when the body temperature drops rapidly below 30 degree and it is pretty serious. And we were told to look out for each other for signs of that condition. Apparently, when one start to tremble or space out a lot, these are symptoms of hypothermia. But then, I space out a lot here and I also tremble a lot leh... I mean even in singapore. Sy!! You must take care of me. If i begin to behave wierdly... You must make sure that I keep my temperature within a safe range. I still wanna come back for my graduation.
Hmm... I still lapse into periods of depression but it is getting better. Thanks to all the friends out there. And belle. I was in tears when i read ya sms. I was really really touched. But I was in class... and that stopped the drama I would have otherwise started. You must take care of yourself. You are the one who really needs to rest too. At this point of time when I needed someone, you all took turns to support me, calling me, smsing me, msning me, talking to me just to ask if I was doing ok. Thank you.
And all these care made me see some things clearer. And it was never clearer. I guess I am now pretty sure of what I want, and I shall not compromise my happiness on issues that are eating my energy away. It is at the end of the day, Not worth it. I know what is real and what is not. Who are the people who truly cared. After sometime, I finally made up my mind.
I used to think that I could not go on. But now, I know what my life is worth and I will not compromise on my happiness. I believe I will get there one day and attain that vision that I see. When I can find my true happiness especially regarding matters of the heart and lead the life that I envision. Life is too short to waste it just like that. Even if I was on the verge of breaking down, I will go on. I WILL FLY.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Dun cry
Jen once told me when I was in Bkk that I shouldnt cry, no matter how sad I am. She was reading some psychology module and she said that crying will make one sink into a deeper state of depression. Something to that meaning. She was very serious about it at that time when I told her that I felt like crying. I listened to her. Somehow, I believed her and till today, I still remembered that. I think overall I did feel better at that time
Right now, at this very point of time, I can feel that everything is about to spillover. I think I can no longer suppress. But I shouldnt cry. What should I do? I have not been eating well these days. Work has been so hectic. Everything is so tight. Things hasnt really been going on well.
My body finally surrendered. I fell asleep without the energy to cry. I took a half hour nap before I woke up trembling though the air con wasnt on. I dun feel well. Im totally exhausted. I forced myself out of bed cos i have to get that bag.
After meeting nette to get the sleeping bag.... I realised, that tiny bit of energy i have, is once again exhausted.
I cant be that strong anymore. As the music blasted in my ears, I held on to my tears on the train. Occasionally when one drop accidentally fell, i wiped it off quickly. Things are better when im off the train walking home. There was no one. The tears just flowed. I held on and I fought. But I lost and they came... non stop.
I kept moving. no matter how much tears flowed. I kept moving. I cant stop. I dun have time to stop. The tears kept flowing But I have to pack. The tears kept flowing but I have to get on with my work. The tears kept flowing just before I slept. I cant stop doing anything because I cant afford to. Yet, I cant stop the tears from flowing.
I guess when the pain culminates to a point, it wont hurt anymore. I will perhaps tear, less. It will perhaps be unbearable still, but less. Eventually I will be fine.
I lost a vision.
Right now, at this very point of time, I can feel that everything is about to spillover. I think I can no longer suppress. But I shouldnt cry. What should I do? I have not been eating well these days. Work has been so hectic. Everything is so tight. Things hasnt really been going on well.
My body finally surrendered. I fell asleep without the energy to cry. I took a half hour nap before I woke up trembling though the air con wasnt on. I dun feel well. Im totally exhausted. I forced myself out of bed cos i have to get that bag.
After meeting nette to get the sleeping bag.... I realised, that tiny bit of energy i have, is once again exhausted.
I cant be that strong anymore. As the music blasted in my ears, I held on to my tears on the train. Occasionally when one drop accidentally fell, i wiped it off quickly. Things are better when im off the train walking home. There was no one. The tears just flowed. I held on and I fought. But I lost and they came... non stop.
I kept moving. no matter how much tears flowed. I kept moving. I cant stop. I dun have time to stop. The tears kept flowing But I have to pack. The tears kept flowing but I have to get on with my work. The tears kept flowing just before I slept. I cant stop doing anything because I cant afford to. Yet, I cant stop the tears from flowing.
I guess when the pain culminates to a point, it wont hurt anymore. I will perhaps tear, less. It will perhaps be unbearable still, but less. Eventually I will be fine.
I lost a vision.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
MUAK!!! TO THE Many years of friendship!! ITs been 2 years since I last met this girl!! She is the number one person who introduced me to Opera. And that was also when I began listening and fallin in love with "Phantom of the Opera"...
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Lovely pressie from the Sweet Girl.. Its been a while since I last received something that is wrapped with heart and soul... so nicely...
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I really love this handbag and the matching pouch. Its really pretty!! Thank you XIXI!! I will miss you truly!
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I found me!
Yeah... after a long period of darkness, I finally hear that voice again.
Im happy now. Life is good.
Its tough to work on something that you have no vision. What was really terrible was me trying to work on something I see but to no avail. It is time to move on for sure. And Im glad, after some time, I found myself back again.
I am a person driven by passion, lead by my vision. When i feel really passionate about something, I will go all out to follow my heart to attain what I see. What I am weak in, is my ability to let go and move on. It takes time to get emotionally involved, so I should give myself time to be emotionally detached.
Im very driven these days. Im sailing through this book that I got from lib. It is another motivational book. I am driven not primarily cos of this book, but because of my change in thinking. And of course, the laughter and happiness i found once again from my Raoul friends and my best friends in school. I love talking to all of them.
I am really glad to have a bunch of very very good friends. Im thankful for having them around because I realise I need a LISTENER in my life. I am not someone who is so much a listener so I dun make a very good confidante but I tried to improve and I hope you guys see that I have indeed made some improvements. When I say i need a LISTENER, i dun mean i need someone who hears. I mean someone who listens!!! Someone who hears what i say and think through them and talk to me. There is some input on their part. And I realise this is a very very important quality I need from my life partner. I never really know about what I want in my life partner. I think that I am slowly carving out some criteria. Not out of nothing, but purely based on my understanding of myself. And that is very important.
In the past, I used to just listen a lot. After I started UNI, I began to think a lot. Towards the end of my education here in SMU, I begin to SEE a lot. The word "vision" used to be one of those words that i would not pay attention to in the past, cos we see it everywhere, every school, every organisation etc, EVERYONE HAD THIS VISION THING that sounded BIG but we dun really know what it is. Right now, I see this word in a different light. The various professors in school made me see the importance of this word from an organisation's point of view and Prof Brown showed me the importance of having a vision from my personal point of view. I begin to be able to link all that i learn in biz to life and vice versa.
Anyway, My point is, I am happy.
I must focus my energy on the right aspects of my life, but to the fundamental visions that I hold and I believe, I will not change and I dun think I will change it for anyone unless I am convinced.
Im happy now. Life is good.
Its tough to work on something that you have no vision. What was really terrible was me trying to work on something I see but to no avail. It is time to move on for sure. And Im glad, after some time, I found myself back again.
I am a person driven by passion, lead by my vision. When i feel really passionate about something, I will go all out to follow my heart to attain what I see. What I am weak in, is my ability to let go and move on. It takes time to get emotionally involved, so I should give myself time to be emotionally detached.
Im very driven these days. Im sailing through this book that I got from lib. It is another motivational book. I am driven not primarily cos of this book, but because of my change in thinking. And of course, the laughter and happiness i found once again from my Raoul friends and my best friends in school. I love talking to all of them.
I am really glad to have a bunch of very very good friends. Im thankful for having them around because I realise I need a LISTENER in my life. I am not someone who is so much a listener so I dun make a very good confidante but I tried to improve and I hope you guys see that I have indeed made some improvements. When I say i need a LISTENER, i dun mean i need someone who hears. I mean someone who listens!!! Someone who hears what i say and think through them and talk to me. There is some input on their part. And I realise this is a very very important quality I need from my life partner. I never really know about what I want in my life partner. I think that I am slowly carving out some criteria. Not out of nothing, but purely based on my understanding of myself. And that is very important.
In the past, I used to just listen a lot. After I started UNI, I began to think a lot. Towards the end of my education here in SMU, I begin to SEE a lot. The word "vision" used to be one of those words that i would not pay attention to in the past, cos we see it everywhere, every school, every organisation etc, EVERYONE HAD THIS VISION THING that sounded BIG but we dun really know what it is. Right now, I see this word in a different light. The various professors in school made me see the importance of this word from an organisation's point of view and Prof Brown showed me the importance of having a vision from my personal point of view. I begin to be able to link all that i learn in biz to life and vice versa.
Anyway, My point is, I am happy.
I must focus my energy on the right aspects of my life, but to the fundamental visions that I hold and I believe, I will not change and I dun think I will change it for anyone unless I am convinced.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
My BABY!!!
Its pretty Dark.. Hmm... Nicely done LOVE PARADE!! I am really happy that my BABY is growing and doing so well!!
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On the way home in the MRT... Thank you Yong Chang for helping us take photo. This is with flash...
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FUGLY PIC on my FUGLY HAND
Muahahaha... I had so much fun with my Raoul Mates!!! They are a darn funny bunch of people. I never laughed so hard for so long le... JiaNi, Lionel, Li Qin, Alicia, Jen, Jackie and Jackie's bf.. plus these new people we met. So funny. I was just busy singing, though i cant really hear my own voice and after a while cos everyone was laughing Damn loudly and i was suppose to be still in the game but they had already drawn so many times on my hand saying that i lost!! Its the best part time job ever... I love YOU!!!
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Monday, October 23, 2006
Horoscope for the day from TODAY
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
"Pull out all the stops and go after your goals. Everything you touch will turn to gold. Take everyone by storm by doing the most imaginative you can do - the most unthinkable, unbelievable and captivating"
Really??
"Pull out all the stops and go after your goals. Everything you touch will turn to gold. Take everyone by storm by doing the most imaginative you can do - the most unthinkable, unbelievable and captivating"
Really??
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Some Happy news
Friday was another crazy day. More of the night. Had Fish and chips @ Amk central with Sy before the both of us go for our Nameste meeting in school. After that, we met up with Andrew from Minnesota to meet up with this other girl from US and we all made our way to River valley. Daniele had a house party and he invited a lot of exchange students. Their pastas were delicious.. really delicious... The place was very very crowded. The turnout was overwhelming but the place is just too small. I tried a few new stuff that the students brought and made. I had this turkish delight, which is essentially like a marshmellow coated with shredded coconut and I swear that was the sweetest thing ever that I have tried. Someone made this peanut butter chocolate muesli and that was really good. I love that. Though it was a bit too sweet too. The types of boozes available were a lot too. HAha.. Tetsuya was pretty tipsy already when we started talking. He is so polite and very JAp normally when we speak to each other in school. He is quite a funny chap in his own way too, with an allergy to english. AHha..
Andrew is going to nepal with us. And we were all talking about how we should buy some booze to Nepal to brave through the winter. And he said that his 21st birthday would be on 5th dec, which is the day we are all going to depart for nepal and he wants to get drunk on the plane. AHAH... Sy and I volunteered to pass him our paper bags for him to puke. AHAH...
And anyway... so I had some vodka raspberry, which is the worst thing i have ever tasted, it is like cougy syrup. Had some red wine. SOmebody got some cheap wine... and Andrew's scottish whiskey. Woah.. imagine.. the mixture was a little potent. But I manage to survive...
And I went to the airport to pick mummy up. AHAHA... Mummy ask me why my eyes so red.. haha...
One piece of news... The royal nepal airlines are sending their fleet for servicing in december and so we all have to change airline now. BAck to THAI AIRWAYS.. WOah.. Im how happy now. AHAHAH.. SY and I are now planning to spend like 4-5 days in kathmandu and then stopover at Bkk since we have to transit there anyway. And so Our Xmas will be in BKK. That is tentative...
So we shall see how it goes
Next up, As I thought I would be the chef for the nemeste team, Louis caught me by surprise. Woah.. he is the first guy i met that is how interested in cooking and the way he plans the menu. HAHA.. I got scolded by SY. She wanted to bring a lot of food when she saw my menu. Then when louis came up with his... she was like now she has more space in the luggage for clothes. For the ubin trip he even plan things like fried salmon with mash potatoes... bla bla.. some gong bao ji ding fried rice also. WOah... And they tasted his spaghetti bolognise and everyone said it was damn good. I missed that meeting and so i didnt get a chance to eat. Now I can go on the trip and learn new dishes. AHAHAH... And I told them, when his big dishes fail, I can come in and cook my small dishes. haha
Andrew is going to nepal with us. And we were all talking about how we should buy some booze to Nepal to brave through the winter. And he said that his 21st birthday would be on 5th dec, which is the day we are all going to depart for nepal and he wants to get drunk on the plane. AHAH... Sy and I volunteered to pass him our paper bags for him to puke. AHAH...
And anyway... so I had some vodka raspberry, which is the worst thing i have ever tasted, it is like cougy syrup. Had some red wine. SOmebody got some cheap wine... and Andrew's scottish whiskey. Woah.. imagine.. the mixture was a little potent. But I manage to survive...
And I went to the airport to pick mummy up. AHAHA... Mummy ask me why my eyes so red.. haha...
One piece of news... The royal nepal airlines are sending their fleet for servicing in december and so we all have to change airline now. BAck to THAI AIRWAYS.. WOah.. Im how happy now. AHAHAH.. SY and I are now planning to spend like 4-5 days in kathmandu and then stopover at Bkk since we have to transit there anyway. And so Our Xmas will be in BKK. That is tentative...
So we shall see how it goes
Next up, As I thought I would be the chef for the nemeste team, Louis caught me by surprise. Woah.. he is the first guy i met that is how interested in cooking and the way he plans the menu. HAHA.. I got scolded by SY. She wanted to bring a lot of food when she saw my menu. Then when louis came up with his... she was like now she has more space in the luggage for clothes. For the ubin trip he even plan things like fried salmon with mash potatoes... bla bla.. some gong bao ji ding fried rice also. WOah... And they tasted his spaghetti bolognise and everyone said it was damn good. I missed that meeting and so i didnt get a chance to eat. Now I can go on the trip and learn new dishes. AHAHAH... And I told them, when his big dishes fail, I can come in and cook my small dishes. haha
Perhaps
Perhaps it was wrong to insist that there is a need to work things out even when the fundamental difference glares back.
Perhaps there is no better way than waiting for only time can tell.
Perhaps it is time to move on for there is no complete understanding at all.
Perhaps it is also why the failure rate of the US mergers and acquisitions are so high, at 40-80% since it takes more than what you see to bring about synergy. It is afterall, two companies which started off with different visions, with different workplace cultures and different systems. Mergers and acquisitions cant work by just running them like there is no difference.
Perhaps a better due dilligence should have been done.
http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/cultural-services/articles/intercultural-mergers.html
Perhaps there is no better way than waiting for only time can tell.
Perhaps it is time to move on for there is no complete understanding at all.
Perhaps it is also why the failure rate of the US mergers and acquisitions are so high, at 40-80% since it takes more than what you see to bring about synergy. It is afterall, two companies which started off with different visions, with different workplace cultures and different systems. Mergers and acquisitions cant work by just running them like there is no difference.
Perhaps a better due dilligence should have been done.
http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/cultural-services/articles/intercultural-mergers.html
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Somebody save me Please...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It is easy to set goals.
It is easy to persevere with sheer determination in the face of uncertainty and objections.
It is easy to hold on as long as the belief is there.
What happens if the heart wavers?
The belief is vague?
And there is no more pain, no more strong beliefs, no more sadness, no more happiness too?
Lost.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It is easy to set goals.
It is easy to persevere with sheer determination in the face of uncertainty and objections.
It is easy to hold on as long as the belief is there.
What happens if the heart wavers?
The belief is vague?
And there is no more pain, no more strong beliefs, no more sadness, no more happiness too?
Lost.
Friday, October 20, 2006
On Limits...
There is so much that one can do to believe and insist on believing that there is still capacity in the glass when it is actually contantly being filled up. I guess when the limit is reached, the limit is reached...
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Thursday, October 19, 2006
Spritual Indulgence
I realised I havent been doing things that make me really happy for quite sometime.. As in like spiritual indulgences. I need my movies. I need to cook. I need to read. I need to Sing song. I need more outings with my girls....
Didnt quite realised the school lib has a good collection of DVDs that I can watch until today when i finally dropped by that particular shelf to pick up a couple. The selection is limited but it is a GOOD selection of DVDs. Its a pity that most of them are references so i cant bring them home. I managed to choose 2 and will start watching one tonight.
As I was browsing through the "lifestyle" collection in school, I came across a few books that I makes me wanna just chuck my textbooks aside and read them. Woah... these books are always irresistable!!!! And i also saw this recipe book/magazine by the Australian's Women's weekly. Im stealing some ideas and I need go head back to the kitchen soon. Im dying in the absence of an avenue for self expression. I need to cook. I need to sing song. And well, tracy i cant really draw so that avenue doesnt exist. I need to read. I need to watch movies... real great movies. My life cannot go on like that. I need spiritual food... Hungry... SO HUNGRY!!!! ANd yes, Im going to the GYm later. Waiting for Sy to end her project meeting. I wanna run. I wanna get rid of the excess unhealthy energy that I have which, if I cant channel into the right places...will erode my emotional well-being again.
Will mug my text.
Will watch more great movies for great motivation and inspiration.
(one piece of good news, shackleton is available too!!!)
Will Cook. Means will spend more time with my family. Its funny how when mummy was around and If i dun see her for days, I wont miss her the way i miss her when she is away on a holiday. I realised I miss her more now that she is really not around in town. She has worked very hard for the family. she has worked very hard for me. As much as I needed a graduation trip, deep inside, I know that she needs one too. And I can sense that relief and happiness that she held in the preparation for this trip because in a way, she too must have felt that she has graduated(graduating as of now) from the responsibility to bring me the ability to earn a living of my own. This is a symbolic trip for her. I hope that she is enjoying herself as she immerses herself into the nature of GREAT CHINA. She will be back tom. I miss her.
Will sing song. OK. Belle. You seem to have disappeared ever since you started "mindsharing". nette and Sy, I think the 4 of us need to exercise our lungs soon. Need to laugh. Need to share. Need to gossip. Need to just talk about anything and everything that is going on in each others' lives. Soon ok!! SOON!!!
Need to Gym Sy is doing it tue and thur, Nette is doing it Mon and wed... So I have company for 4 days every week and there is no reason for me not going to the gym. I need to sleep well at night.
Ok... back to my spiritual indulgences....
Didnt quite realised the school lib has a good collection of DVDs that I can watch until today when i finally dropped by that particular shelf to pick up a couple. The selection is limited but it is a GOOD selection of DVDs. Its a pity that most of them are references so i cant bring them home. I managed to choose 2 and will start watching one tonight.
As I was browsing through the "lifestyle" collection in school, I came across a few books that I makes me wanna just chuck my textbooks aside and read them. Woah... these books are always irresistable!!!! And i also saw this recipe book/magazine by the Australian's Women's weekly. Im stealing some ideas and I need go head back to the kitchen soon. Im dying in the absence of an avenue for self expression. I need to cook. I need to sing song. And well, tracy i cant really draw so that avenue doesnt exist. I need to read. I need to watch movies... real great movies. My life cannot go on like that. I need spiritual food... Hungry... SO HUNGRY!!!! ANd yes, Im going to the GYm later. Waiting for Sy to end her project meeting. I wanna run. I wanna get rid of the excess unhealthy energy that I have which, if I cant channel into the right places...will erode my emotional well-being again.
Will mug my text.
Will watch more great movies for great motivation and inspiration.
(one piece of good news, shackleton is available too!!!)
Will Cook. Means will spend more time with my family. Its funny how when mummy was around and If i dun see her for days, I wont miss her the way i miss her when she is away on a holiday. I realised I miss her more now that she is really not around in town. She has worked very hard for the family. she has worked very hard for me. As much as I needed a graduation trip, deep inside, I know that she needs one too. And I can sense that relief and happiness that she held in the preparation for this trip because in a way, she too must have felt that she has graduated(graduating as of now) from the responsibility to bring me the ability to earn a living of my own. This is a symbolic trip for her. I hope that she is enjoying herself as she immerses herself into the nature of GREAT CHINA. She will be back tom. I miss her.
Will sing song. OK. Belle. You seem to have disappeared ever since you started "mindsharing". nette and Sy, I think the 4 of us need to exercise our lungs soon. Need to laugh. Need to share. Need to gossip. Need to just talk about anything and everything that is going on in each others' lives. Soon ok!! SOON!!!
Need to Gym Sy is doing it tue and thur, Nette is doing it Mon and wed... So I have company for 4 days every week and there is no reason for me not going to the gym. I need to sleep well at night.
Ok... back to my spiritual indulgences....
Where are my girls and the things we used to do together??
I miss YOU gals.... Asma, JY, PUM!!!! I really miss those days back in Bkk with you girls. I never had more fun and felt better... Asma, I will try to make it to the Netherlands or Belgium... I can still meet Jy and PUm and JUNE .... I want the EVERGREEN DAYS TO BE BACK!! NOW!!
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Why?
I walked into the strategy class on tuesday, Adrian Greeted me with...
"Hey Wanshi, You look like a Thai today!"
Just now I was watching Tv in the living room, Papa came out of his room and told me
"Girl, 你越来越像泰国人!" ( Girl, you look more and more like a Thai these days!)
WOAH!!! I got more tann only cos the sun in Vietnam was pretty strong... and that was about it. And so Now I look like a Thai AGAIN....
Anyway, Today I had a pretty good time talking to nette. And well.. NETTE... you have got A REALLY REALLY SWEET Boyfriend!!!! My god... Didnt know the Hong kong standard SO HIGH!!!! Flew all the way to bring you a cake he baked from his baking class. My god.. I think I would die man... Touched to death. AHahah... Im so happy for you!!! CY!!! This is definitely the best I have heard. HAHA.. Malaysian standard is high but I found someone who beat all your stories finally man... HAha.. even if it is once in a lifetime, these are the things we remember when we look back at our lives 50 years from now,no? These are the things we share with our grandchildren when we are old. We do not share with our grandkids the answers to tutorial number 123, or presentation number 456. Life is worth living because it is possible to fill them up with rainbow stories like that. It is only a matter of attitude. Strive for Brilliance. Why not? Why must things be mediocre? Why must have something sub-standard? WHY?
So JEALOUS NOW!!!!!!
Speaking of which, Singaporean Guys I think you guys OUGHT TO WAKE UP!!! and BUCK UP.
PLease... you guys are trying to fight for the last ranking on the "National Romantic + SWEET" competition is it? Make a girl feel like a girl. Be creative. Put in effort. Paying for Meals occasionally is NOT in anyway considered sweet. Sending her home is the BASICS can? Dun cry or regret when ya girls run away to other guys of other nationalities cos you have no one but yourself to blame. Bring the relationship to greater heights. The sky is the limit. If you are unwilling to put in effort then dun expect returns. And if you dun expect return then dun go into a relationship and waste everyone's time. And please... dun always show girls how you guys have split personality. Honeymoon period is GUY A and after that is GUY B and GUY B seems to be permanent and GUY A is lost in translation. By the way, we are talking about effort here. No money right? If effort can be bought, I think business man here will also not make money. WHY? Cos the SG man doesnt even understand that one of the fundamentals to a relationship is effort. SOrry, I rephrase, it is CONSISTENT EFFORT. Do one thing and expect ya girl to be happy with that thing for 3 years right? Buy insurance you also need to make regular payments. You think you pay a NONIMAL sum they insure you for life right?? WAKE UP MAN!!!
WAKE UP AND THINK THROUGH it ok?
WAKE UP!
"Hey Wanshi, You look like a Thai today!"
Just now I was watching Tv in the living room, Papa came out of his room and told me
"Girl, 你越来越像泰国人!" ( Girl, you look more and more like a Thai these days!)
WOAH!!! I got more tann only cos the sun in Vietnam was pretty strong... and that was about it. And so Now I look like a Thai AGAIN....
Anyway, Today I had a pretty good time talking to nette. And well.. NETTE... you have got A REALLY REALLY SWEET Boyfriend!!!! My god... Didnt know the Hong kong standard SO HIGH!!!! Flew all the way to bring you a cake he baked from his baking class. My god.. I think I would die man... Touched to death. AHahah... Im so happy for you!!! CY!!! This is definitely the best I have heard. HAHA.. Malaysian standard is high but I found someone who beat all your stories finally man... HAha.. even if it is once in a lifetime, these are the things we remember when we look back at our lives 50 years from now,no? These are the things we share with our grandchildren when we are old. We do not share with our grandkids the answers to tutorial number 123, or presentation number 456. Life is worth living because it is possible to fill them up with rainbow stories like that. It is only a matter of attitude. Strive for Brilliance. Why not? Why must things be mediocre? Why must have something sub-standard? WHY?
So JEALOUS NOW!!!!!!
Speaking of which, Singaporean Guys I think you guys OUGHT TO WAKE UP!!! and BUCK UP.
PLease... you guys are trying to fight for the last ranking on the "National Romantic + SWEET" competition is it? Make a girl feel like a girl. Be creative. Put in effort. Paying for Meals occasionally is NOT in anyway considered sweet. Sending her home is the BASICS can? Dun cry or regret when ya girls run away to other guys of other nationalities cos you have no one but yourself to blame. Bring the relationship to greater heights. The sky is the limit. If you are unwilling to put in effort then dun expect returns. And if you dun expect return then dun go into a relationship and waste everyone's time. And please... dun always show girls how you guys have split personality. Honeymoon period is GUY A and after that is GUY B and GUY B seems to be permanent and GUY A is lost in translation. By the way, we are talking about effort here. No money right? If effort can be bought, I think business man here will also not make money. WHY? Cos the SG man doesnt even understand that one of the fundamentals to a relationship is effort. SOrry, I rephrase, it is CONSISTENT EFFORT. Do one thing and expect ya girl to be happy with that thing for 3 years right? Buy insurance you also need to make regular payments. You think you pay a NONIMAL sum they insure you for life right?? WAKE UP MAN!!!
WAKE UP AND THINK THROUGH it ok?
WAKE UP!
Monday, October 16, 2006
End of leadership course? Maybe its just the beginning...
Its been a long long while since I last sank into a state of depression. Things are starting to get hectic and my emotional well-being wasnt exactly strong. Anyway, I struggled through the worst week of the year. Im good now. Much better. The depression came quietly. Severe lack of sleep and a few other problems caught me by surprise. I was reading two articles for my course on leadership yesterday. I feel, they are the best 2 articles for this course. Let me share some exerpts with you.
1. Is Silence Killing your company? - Perlow and Williams (Harvard Business Review, May 2003)
"Everytime we keep silent about our differences, we swell with negative emotions like anxiety, anger, and resentment. Of course, we can go on for a long time pretending to ourselves and others that nothing is wrong. But as long as the conflict is not resolved, our repressed fellings remain potent and colour the way we relate to other people. We begin to feel a sense of disconnection in our relationships, which in turn causes us to become increasingly self-protective .When we feel defensive in this way, we become all the more fearful that if we speak up, we will be embarrassed or rejected. Our sense of insecurity grows. In relationships we care about preserving, more acts of silence follow, which only bring more defensiveness and more distrust. A destructive 'spiral of silence' is set in motion"
2. Moments of Greatness – Robert Quinn (HBR, July – August 2005, p 1-10)
There's normal and There's Fundamental
Under everyday circumstances, leaders can remain in their normal state f being and do what they need to do. But some challenges require a heightened perspective - what can be called the fundamental state of leadership. Here is how these two states differ. ( Anyway, what we should all strive for, is to apply this fundamental state everyday.. to the extent that the we are leading our lives with this fundamental state, till it becomes our normal state).
Well, many of these leadership theories are simply theories that we can relate to and aptly apply to our daily lives. I enjoy this course. Now that it is officially over, I will have to continue the journey of self-discovery on my own. This is the most enriching course ever!! Never have I taken a course in which I am the focus and I am the subject. And it is interesting how a lot of these soft skills are the determining factors to the success of a leader. And fundamentally, we must be a leader to ourselves before we can lead others. Leadership is a role we can adopt in any part of our daily lives, in families, with friends, in relationships, etc.. It is not restricted to the management in a company.
I loved the movies. I enjoyed all the articles. I appreciated all the reflection exercises.
These articles are accessible from the school's library datebase if you guys are interested. Enjoy.
Anyway, I had another fantastic time during SBM today. John is SO funny and he is so inspirational too. The takeaway from today's class before we were all hyped up in the discussion of the LVMH case:
"Strive for Brilliance"
- We do not enter university in hope of becoming a below average student. We do not enter into relationships hoping that it will only be mediocre. We do what we did and we decide to go into what we did for we hope that they will all turn out to be nothing but success with excellence. We all know but how AWARE are we?
Friday, October 13, 2006
We had this for lunch and dinner on the first day and we got so sick of it that that was also the last time we ate from Pho 24
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Nice vietnamese food.. but it is rather blanc and I dun really enjoy eating all the herbs and raw vegetables...
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AHAH... We somehow wore the same colour clothes in each of the above days, even the pyjamus tee shirts were grey.... It was purely coincidental.. haha...
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We were at the museum one hour b4 closing time.. so it was really kind of rush and I dun like to rush thru museums cos that way you cant see much
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Its a wonderful trip anyhow, though the shopping is not as great as BKK and the food is not as good as BKK.. and I know very much less people here than i did in BKK, the culture and the different way of live is still an eye opener. Especially crossing the streets. It can be likened to you trying to cross the CTE... the only difference is that it is not possible here but it is possible in Ho chi minh city. The trick to cross is not to stop. If you stop halfway, the drivers will panic cos they cannot anticipate ya next move and everyone will be screwed. We survived anyhow, by keeping in mind that we both still wanna come back and graduate, we put in our 150% effort in crossing the roads in Ho chi minh city. The nights and hours of chatting with Sy was the most memorable part. AHAH... Think we can survive the next Trip to kathmandu since there wasnt any major form of hiccups in this trip other than us over sleeping and missing Day 2's breakfast when that was the only thing we looked forward to at the end of day one. Yay...
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