I will fly

Hmm... The retreat at Pulau Ubin was pretty good. I enjoyed all the cycling... especially when the wind blew against my face as I sailed down a slope. The speed gave me an adrenalin surge that was surprisingly therapeutic. And I remembered my first motorbike ride in thailand, at Koh Larn. Surrounded by beautiful mountains and seas, I sailed down the hill on a motorbike. Once in a lifetime experience. That was one of the highlights of my exchange life and as of now, my life too.

Im glad to have a bunch of very fun people for the trip. The guys are really funny. Laughed a lot. I hated the mosquitoes though, as usual. I enjoyed talking to the Auntie there too... She is a really happy and cute old lady, so energetic and full of vitality. I miss her... I will visit her when if i ever set foot on the island again.

And I finally found taxi kakis.. haha.. Adrian and Naresh actually stay so close to me. And they are darn funny. The retreat got us all closer. It was pretty taxing to put everything else behind and just immerse ourselves into the activities. But, I realised it wasnt that difficult afterall. However, the aftermath of what is left after the trip was another great challenge...

I reached home at four plus. Quick dinner, back to working on my project. Took a one hour nap. Continued my work and nap again at around midnight and I continued all the way till 4 plus. Woke up at 9 today to prepare for my class today on Ben and Jerrys. And then it was lunch. And short nap in school and then it was time to prepare for my test on thur. All the projects are haunting me... Arrggh...

Anyway, Im looking forward to my Nepal trip. Never wanted to leave more. However, I have to make sure that I keep myself physically fit. They were warning us of the danger of Hypothermia, when the body temperature drops rapidly below 30 degree and it is pretty serious. And we were told to look out for each other for signs of that condition. Apparently, when one start to tremble or space out a lot, these are symptoms of hypothermia. But then, I space out a lot here and I also tremble a lot leh... I mean even in singapore. Sy!! You must take care of me. If i begin to behave wierdly... You must make sure that I keep my temperature within a safe range. I still wanna come back for my graduation.

Hmm... I still lapse into periods of depression but it is getting better. Thanks to all the friends out there. And belle. I was in tears when i read ya sms. I was really really touched. But I was in class... and that stopped the drama I would have otherwise started. You must take care of yourself. You are the one who really needs to rest too. At this point of time when I needed someone, you all took turns to support me, calling me, smsing me, msning me, talking to me just to ask if I was doing ok. Thank you.

And all these care made me see some things clearer. And it was never clearer. I guess I am now pretty sure of what I want, and I shall not compromise my happiness on issues that are eating my energy away. It is at the end of the day, Not worth it. I know what is real and what is not. Who are the people who truly cared. After sometime, I finally made up my mind.

I used to think that I could not go on. But now, I know what my life is worth and I will not compromise on my happiness. I believe I will get there one day and attain that vision that I see. When I can find my true happiness especially regarding matters of the heart and lead the life that I envision. Life is too short to waste it just like that. Even if I was on the verge of breaking down, I will go on. I WILL FLY.