"Suddenly I see... This is what I wanna be..."

Tracy.. I like the songs that you play in ya blog! I would just leave ya blog open in a new window sometimes just to listen to the song. Haha...

"suddenly I see... This is what I wanna be...."
-Exactly my sentiments-

SY!! I have done my share of pestering Duong for all the information for HCM, the travel guide i borrowed from my big old bro, finding out what colour taxi to take, which restaurant to go to, which place to hang out... You must protect me leh... We only have each other to fend for.

I am pleased that I am now all ready for the trip. Emotionally I mean. I finally managed to clear everything and empty all the unhappy and confusing issues. I breathe so well now. I see things better. I understand finally, what is going on. I was initially worried about how I might not be able to achieve the objective of this trip if I were to leave with excess baggage. Yup, I can. I will now. I am free. I feel a sense of nostalgia right now. Sitting in a GSR. Looking so very forward to the trip tom. Nostalgia not because of where I am but how I am feeling now. I had so much fun during the Song Kran festival in april this year that it helped me find my way out eventually in this issue that I couldnt make a clear and definite decision. I was able to achieve that cos I went to kanchanaburi with an open mind and nothing to brood over.

This trip is very important to me. Every trip that I had so far gave me time out from things and also provided me with invaluable experiences and insignt so much that I know, from now, that I am already addicted to travelling.

It is no longer a issue of how I should be I realised. Cos it doesnt work anymore as I am losing myself. It is about What I want now and rather, what I do not want now. I am glad the strength from within is back. I am feeling strong and motivated again, in everything that I do right now.

No matter how tired or how much there is to do, as long as I believe, I will.
Things get complicated as I begin to doubt my belief. Im not sure if i should continue to will or I should stop. If I think that by letting go I will not be worst off, I would not have to hold so tightly anymore. And I am beginning to realise that perhaps, I can let go. Whether I should or not, that is what I am struggling with now.

I have sorted things out clearly and succinctly in my head. I know now of how to continue on from here. As much as I try not to, I realised that at he end of the day, I still judge. I guess it is only human nature.

Im loving myself more and listening to myself more too.

If Im not a happy person, Im not good enough for anyone.

I dun hestitate now, cos I do not want to regret later. And I wont. And that is why I put and try my best. But If things still dun work out. I know I have done my best. That is all that matters. No regrets. If I have already tried reasonably hard enough for things within my control, that is the best I can be and do. Those that are not within my control are not worth any thoughts.

Im ready for take off.

Cant wait for take off.