When Can I do This again?

Something is missing from my life. I think I know what it is. But its something that is beyond my control. Maybe it is within my control, I just chose not to do anything about it cos I think and believe that sometimes in life, certain things are already planned. And I believe the forces of nature. Despite the fact that Im a 100% city kid, I still believe in nature. Everything. Like the way PC 's characters believed.

I wish upon a star...

Its a cold cold day

I wanna sleep. Not enough.

End of 3 month rotation. Work at next department is going to be challenging. I already see it. Its a make or break I feel.

Learning curve is steep, in terms of both knowledge, theories and skills. And Skills are the most important here cos it will allow you to tide through the acquisition of knowledge and the understanding and learning of the theories.

Still a little lost. But I think I have at least gotten some footing. Most importantly, Im on the right track.

Was forced to recall and remember everything about my baby project yesterday unexpectedly. Haha.. But Im glad, this time round, I think I have a better picture of things. Especially to the accounting aspect of it. I love finance. I still do.

Procurement is something totally new for me. I think I am quite a HR person although im not trained there. Marketing im still trying to find out what is happening there. Finance in this case is more of accounts is not my area of interest. Business development is totally new. I dunno if I will be able to learn about that. I will take the rest of the time to observe and see how it goes. I deinitely wanna learn the full set of this business. Not giving up.

So so cold. Rain is very heavy.

I wish to write more but i think my processing speed is low now. Very low. Cos of the ladies night yesterday. Tsk tsk right? Haha....

I think I know why

Hmm...

Its disheartening to see broken marriages. Broken relationships.

And it is not the first time that I hear of man running away, leaving their wife, children and even parents in the lurch. 90% of these cases occur because these man have their own business and they have a mistress and eventually, the business went bust and they run into huge debt. Perhaps without the mistress part, they still have a home to run back to, someone they can count on to tide through the mishap. However, when they too, have a mistress, things becomes a little more tough aint it?

I always believe that for a man to succeed in his business, he needs to have firm values. That is what brings him through the downs and difficult times. No matter how big a challenge, there is a family to run to. For those man, who decides to have a mistress too, their business hardly succeeds right? Im not talking about those man who are in the top 100 billionaires of the world, those whose business and empire is already so established or that their business is already so stable, they can afford to have 3 - 4 WIVES. Im talking about those whose business are not that big.. yet they wanna keep a mistress or still fool around. They will never make it. They have already breached this conscience of theirs. They have to spend a lot of time and energy to generate lies after lies to keep one lie going. They have already gave in to this desire that has taken away all their focus from their work. When family breaks, how happy can the man be. How much can the man focus on doing things right when he knows that everything at home is all wrong.

Time and time again, i hear of these betrayals. It's rather disheartening especially when i see it happen to people whom Im close with.

I guess that is why I never had faith in guys. To find that 2% is really difficult. And the problem is, people do change. So it's a risk? Marriage is a risk. Relationship is a risk. Im scared le. I think Im so scared that the moment I think the guy is not really true to me, I run away. I give up. I dun wanna try. I'm scared. Wait till I find the one guy that can keep the trust strong... Till then.. I think I wont be able to find the right one. Not that I dun trust guys, but most guy friends tell me they agree that a lot of guys out there are bastards. And even wongso (100% guy )tells this, "All guys are jerks UNLESS proven otherwise".

You see.. even they themselves are aware of that. So how much faith can I hold?

Sorry guys, not that I am a pessimistic feminist, but seriously most man are just disappointing. I would of course, still keep my fingers crossed that such things dun happen to me. Cos I will try and maintain my CONSUMATE LOVE if I ever find one.

Free

I love SaturdayS!

Whee... And Im beginning to love fridays too.. Sorry Girlies. Sorry wongso. For neglecting you all while I spent the whole time talking to my colleague at ice cold. But I still love you all! Never doubt that!

I feel like im embarking on a journey, to a new place I hardly heard of, saw people I never knew existed and am learning things I never know of.

It is certainly exciting. I had lots of freedom. I have lots of autonomy. But sometimes I do feel insecure about whether I am on the right track and if I am doing the right thing. I am still trying to find my footing. I am still trying to understand the industry. I am still trying to understand the company, my bosses and the culture.

It is certainly challenging. I have great aspirations. I have dreams. I see opportunities of which I know I will either make or break. Somebody has to do it, and since I think that is my purpose of existence here, I will give it a try. Of course, not without proper thoughts, planning and understanding. The biggest challenge is not here. It is over there in China. I will treasure what i have. I will do my best.

It is going to be something great, yet small. It is a significant journey for me. For me to discover myself.

I used to say very often that I wanna travel. Now i realise, this journey that I am embarking on now is giving me the same fulfilment, challenge and addiction that I used to experience in all my overseas stint. And I am contented with staying here. For a while at least.

I finally finished the Paulo Coelho book on "THE ZAHIR". This is a book on love and life. And interesting quote to share with you all:

"In the words of a Persian sage: Love is a disease no one wants to get rid of. Those who catch it never try to get better, and those who suffer do not wish to be cured."

How true.

Its been a long long while since I was last able to spend all my love and energy on myself. I sort of felt this way last year when I was in bkk, but that was afterall, away from home and away from a lot of the practicalities in life that I had to face. It is slightly different now. This is real. I think I have finally managed to live my life here the free and happy way I learnt during my exchange.

Hmm..

SMILEY...

Living & breathing Shipping

Im in general happy with my life. Haha.. many of you read my entries on relationships and came to drop me a note or two. THANKS peeps!!

HAha.. I didnt know that i sounded so disturbed over my being single status. Im not disturbed. Haha.. Sumaya.. asking me not to settle for less. HS, telling me dun rush into one. Thank you all! I feel loved!

I am having a fantastic time with my colleagues at work. Haha... Especially C who sits beside me. Woah haha... She sounds like she is leaving soon, I can understand, yet I know I cant do much to change anything. But I really am having loads of fun at work! I love the people. Was just telling them that ever since we all got closer, we finally lived up to the title of Orchard Working Ladies!! Rush down to the latest sale, bitch about everything and laugh about anything under the sun, sashay our way into food courts and stealing glances at cute guys. Very funny lah. But I never compromise one bit of my work ok? In case you are thinking. I still strive for excellence and put my 110%.

But im going to leave this department at the end of the month and I will have to bid goodbye to C. She wont have anyone to talk to and laugh with after im gone. She might just reside back to the quiet one when I first knew her. Haha.. She heard me whine and hear me talk about my dreams. I was afraid of politics but sometimes i just dun care. I mean i dun bitch about people. I just comment on things. Im totally objective and not personal. And im very glad to have their support really.

J came up to us today and said today is the last day for the boat show. This exhibition on yachts. I was elated and told him Im interested. Then I went to seek permission from W and he said yes!! Only to find out later that the show is in one month's time, sian...

I enjoy going for all these trade exhibitions. They are very interesting and certainly an eye opener. I did talk about how much I love the sea didnt I? And the first time I went onboard our company's mega yacht, I was totally mesmerized. I feel kind of blessed to be in this industry cos that strong affinity with the sea seems to be paving something more concrete for me.

There is another upcoming exhibition at suntec on 2nd to 4th april this year. This is a big shipping exhibition and conference. All of you out there, who still thinks that the world only has investment banks and investment banks... time to take a look at this other big and vibrant industry. Vibrant at least for now.

I told you guys about my alternative career paths. I am now preparing myself for that. Not that I am sure that the current one is not working but, im not going to be complacent here and not think about my future. Besides, whatever preparations I do now will all benefit me at the end of the day regardless of where i go. I need a good industry knowledge for both the jobs. I need to understand the business. I am still trying to learn as much as I can about the trade.

Qualifications are important. Experience especially in this industry. So Im going to make sure that I get my ICS soon. After that I should be looking at an MBA. And I am looking at relocating to one of the European countries for the experience and exposure for my alternative job if things dun work out here. London, norway, or the netherlands. These are the big shipping places to be and I seriously dun mind relocating. I just have got to leverage on my experience and opportunity at this point in time and keep moving forward.

AARRRGGHHH
I still have problems reading a fixture but I shall be determined to get it right. My captain is away and I do hope that he comes back fast!

My Perfume!

I Love It!!

Shi by Alfred Sung is inspired by natures cycle of energy and its ability to create inner balance and harmony, Shi by Alfred Sung is a luminous floral fragrance reflecting a true sense of calm and well-being. In each of the three phases of this delicate, powerful fragrance, carefully chosen ingredients capture the essence of Shi. The initial impression of water lily and fig leaves infuse Shi with pure clarity, while the midnotes of orange blossom and frangipani create an aura of feminine tranquility. A unique water musks accord breathes a whisper of softness around silver birch ending the cycle with a renewing calm.

On relationships!!

Seriously, I am beginning to feel that there is no such thing as getting used to a Single's life.

I do miss having someone there at times, when no one else is available.

I do miss having someone to make me real happy, though not so much the sad part.

I do miss being able to do something really really sweet and nice for someone, but there isnt anyone out there sometimes SO, i decided that I should just be sweet and love myself more.

Actually, what i miss is the roller coaster and the extreme ups and downs when im attached. However, from a Buddhism point of view, that is bad. Haha... in the sense that we should maintain an optimum level, be tranquil etc. Im not saying that Buddhism objects relationships. Im saying that it is good to keep one's emotions and spirit at an optimum level.

Yeah, I dun have much extreme happiness or sadness. Ok, rewind, I do not have extreme sadness now. Well, occasionally i do feel a little upset when some memories of the good and sad times of the past came back.

I laugh so much. And I cried so hard. Its strange, but i know its part of the process. HAHAAH... and after that I muse over silly-ness and I moved on. One very good example. I had so much fun reading the entries of my chula babes, drafting email for my fellow female colleagues on a chill out night and later on meeting up with kevin, I couldnt stop laughing. He was funny yes, but i guess I just happen to be very happy. HAHA.. and when i went home and started tuning in to channel 8 drama, and I saw how a player bullied joanne peh in the show, when she begged him to go visit her mum who was holding her last breath for him, I cried. Its was just so sad... I mean that particular scene is sad.

BUT I really wanna thank wongso for showing me that Triangle of theory on the different kinds of love. I am now able to see my past relationships clearly and I also understand why they did not work out. I also began to understand why I felt so different in the different relationships simply because I was perhaps always looking to have a consumate love, but I would either get romantic love, or companionate love or plain commitment.

It is okay.

I will wait for my Mr right to appear.

I do have relationship phobia to tell you all the truth. And it's not easy for me to get into a rel. But when I do, I usually fall pretty deeply into it. I value trust in a rel a lot. That's cos I have seen far too many examples of betrayal and infidelity in real life. And I firmly believe that trust is not something that my partner should just demand, he has to earn it. He has to make me trust him and there is no such thing as I just trust him with no basis. That sense of security is very important to me. Now that I still have a choice, I will make it. I do not wanna have to face the harsh reality of things and accept them later on when simply because, I do not have a choice and I cant do much about it.

Talking about infidelity, players, jerks, etc... Well, to all the guys out there, whether you have already had a long history of flirting with chicks regardless of whether you are attached or not or if you had at some point in ya life been crowned a "player" by people, OR, you have always been the decent sort and occasionally envy those "players" and were always on the verge of crossing the line and "playing" the game, IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP!

When you dun have values, you dun have much.
When you dun have responsibility and respect for the ones whom you claim you love and who loves you, you dun have much.

Guys love to LOOK at beautiful things, especially this category call "woman". HAHA.. I totally agree that some girls are just so so pretty that even i look at them.

But the last thing you should ever do, is to so blatantly look, and have ya eyeballs turning left and right when you are talking to ya gf, or worst, your eyes follow the target from left to right. SHOW SOME RESPECT TO THE ONE YOU ARE TALKING TO!! Not that this is acceptible if you are not talking to ya gf, i still think that it is rude. If you still wanna see, especially with ya gf, please at least do it discreetly or go and master some skill of being able to "watch" with ya gf.

And DO NOT EVER COMPARE!!

How do you feel if ya gf goes.. hey, woah, that guy is DAMN HOT LA!!! LOOK at his muscles.. woah bigger than yours lor, eh wait, you dun even have, you only have big tyre. FEEL DAMN GOOD RIGHT???

Woah commenting about other people's boops, legs, ass lah... You are all just breaking ya gf's heart. Be sensitive!!

So girls, if ya bf does that to you the next time, let them have a taste of their own medicine. DUN EVER GO FOR PLASTIC SURGERY just cos you think ya bf likes certain kind of look. THAT IS HIS BUSINESS, not YOURS. YOU live a life of ya own. IF he cannot accept that, dun bother wasting time on someone like that! BE SMART!! Though we are more often than not stupid when it comes to relationships, but at the end of the day, STAY SMART!!

Ti tou Dao

This is an excellent show. Expect many good laughs! There are lots of hokkien and some singlish and it is a highly interactive show! Im sure all singaporeans will love this show, even say the older generations. Like my parent's generation, as long as ya parents can understand simple english, they wont have a problem watching this. I think it is something very heartwarming, the script is good and coupled with the excellent acting from the casts, this is a show not to be missed!!

The only thing that made the whole experience not so nice was my gastric. And sorry wongso, HAHAHA you suffered a little with me again this time. Dun worry!! I think our phantom will be good!! That i really look forward.

I LUV SATURDAze...

Hmm and I TRULY DO!!!

sy said:
im going yum cha now... chat with ya later

sy said:
bye

~shishi~ Happie said:
horrible!!

sy said:
hahaa

sy says:
im trying all to bring u to the best

Haha.. So Sy is going to recce the different dim sum places so that she can bring me to the best right?

Bumped into so many people at Ice Cold Beer yesterday in school. I was elated! Saw a friend in one table, and then when i turn, saw another table with another one i know and i looked again, one more!!

SK was complaining about how i made him lose face when he was waving frantically at me and I just saw through him, and later on i did wave but turn out to be at this girl in front of him. Then he was sitting with my group of seniors. I saw CS with on the table and I waved at him, but i didnt realise SK was sitting beside him. Haha... And he went around telling everyone how i malued him. He is so cute la!! My fav instructor!!

And I met Anil, Naresh and Adrian!! Adrian is also excited about his internship in SZ, Anil put on some weight and he havent been cutthing his hair, naresh is still the same! Will do lunch next tue with NAmaste!!! Woah.. and Anil said he is going to aunction Amar's paintings at Fruich. I Love Amar's paintings!! When I saw them in his room in Kathmandu!! ARRGHh.. I must make him paint something for me.. even if it is small... he is really a very talented artiste. Anil says he is aunctioning Amar's painting starting from $507. Hope that he can come SG soon!! All the best Amar!!

The meet ups with the GIRLIES were great too!! I miss all of you! Tracy sorry i missed ya play! But I hope my presence and that PRETTY FLOWER compensated a little!! Very proud of you leh!

Tarn... you look a little burn out with the school! Take care. We will do some rejuvenating high tea soon!

Chris.. AHHA... always so bubbly!

nas.. Always so busy!!

Belle!!!! If you are reading this.. AHAH... when CS introduced me to Ben, I was like eh... Ben.. this ben... Then he was like eh... ws.... HAHAHA... WE both laughed... He asked me, are you the ws that belle always talks about?? AHah.. so we finally met. AHAHAHH

Belle.. I miss you also!! Think you sounded happier these days. Ya last job burnt you out le! I cant wait to meet you.. And hahah.. the perfum SAMPLES!!! YAY!

I stole this from WONGSO... - On the different Kinds of Love (Good Stuff)

Combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment

1. Liking: true friendships (strong bond, warmth and closeness)
2. Infatuated love: "love at first sight"
3. Empty love: Only commitment remains, where intimacy and passion have died
4. Romantic love: Bonded emotionally and physically through passionate arousal.
5. Companionate love: Often found in marriages where passion has dissipated, but a deep affection and commitment remains. Companionate love is a personal relation with somebody you share your life with, but with no sexual or physical desire.
6. Fatuous love: E.g. whirlwind courtship and marriage in which commitment is motivated largely by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.
7. Consummate love: the complete form of love.

IMPORTANT: Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. Consummate love may not be permanent.
He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action.
"Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die" (1987, p.341).

Im excited about my trip!

Yay!!

Sy in hk.
Darryl will be in HK soon. My source of accomodation.
Sumaya in Beijing.
Adrian in Shen zhen.
Qin mei in Guang zhou.

WOAH!!! Haha...

Im flying into Macau first and will spend a night there. Sy has to have a paper on that day!! So I can only meet her in the evening or night im not sure. But SY, you must come and spend the night with me in Macau. I dun wanna stay in the hotel alone. And be alone in macau. Cos I dun thnk I dare to wander around the streets in macau alone at night! And we can continue to tour macau the next morning. Darryl says: Must eat the pork chop burger with their milk tea! And I wanna eat portugeuse egg tart, my fav!! EAt all the delicacies. Wanna go take a look at their casinos also! Yay.

Then we shall take the ferry to HK. Where hopefully... I can go straight to Darryl's place, maybe meet Darryl for dinner first and then dump my barang and "CHOP" a place for my sleeping bag for the next few nights! HAha.. Darryl... I will buy you breakfast, run to have lunch with you at Tsim Tsa Tsui where you will be interning.. and then have dinner every day of the week if you have no one to be with. HAHAH.. ohh.. that is if the places that SY wants to bring me is not far from there!! And hopefull too, SY has no more paper after that.

Sy says thursday is Lady's night. We will all go Lan Kwai Fong. Haha... Tracy! I always hear and see you talk about this place in ya blog when you were in HK. I cant wait to go take a look. Darryl, I will definitely pull you along no matter what. HAHA... We must all go together!

Ocean park, Lantau Island, Dai Ao + + +... wanna visit all these places for sure. I dun think I will go to the disney. I will save it for USA and JApan.

AND AND... we are also looking into dropping by Shen Zhen and saying hi to ADRIAN!!!! That is going to be so fun aint it?? I havent decided if I should go shen zhen to shop and play one day and then return to HK or to fly back to sg from SZ. Cos the air ticket is a lot cheaper for SZ to sing than from HK to sing. But the flight for SZ to sing is at 23 30, and I will reach SG at 03 30 there abouts. What kind of lousy timing is that???

SIGH...

I cant wait to try all the food in HK!! After catching so many years of HK movie and drama serial.. I have always imagine thought about how things are over there in HK. Now that Im going to have a chance to be there... to see for myself how smelly the CHOU TOUFU is, how nice the "YU DAN" is... How funky LKF is, how cheap the things in Mongkok are...

Im excited.

Time to go sleep. Went to the Gym at orchard hotel finally. Its been a long while since I last worked out. YAWN!!!

Great food, Great company!

Thank you A for the wonderful dinner. Haha... Tried quite a few new things which i never did from sushi tei. The Unagi was... simply.. UOOOOOHHHH... SO YUMMY! Just amazing how we had so much things to talk about when we werent exactly close in uni. Catching up on our new found jobs, gossip about people, talk about lives and what nots and time just flew by. Haha.

Oh my god, I so wanna blog about this. You all know how i love to eat the fried salmon strips on grey plates in Tei right? Woah.. today, while talking to A, I took a plate from the conveyor belt that looks like the fried salmon. I asked A whether he eats that, he replied, "JUST TAKE LA". And when i put a piece of that thing on the plate into my mouth and started chewing... OH MY GOD!!! It was fried chicken skin!!! I wanted to puke lor. FOR HEAVEN's SAKE, who in the world would indulge in eating fried chicken skin? HAHAHAHAHA... And I did a horrible thing. I put the plate back onto the conveyor belt, but after much hesitation. I did hesitate ok? YUCKS! But everything else after was so good, i completely got the chicken skin out of my mind.

For some strange reason everytime i arrange to meet up with A, it always pours cats and dogs.

While waiting for A, I accompanied S to have dinner at mOs burger. I always enjoy all these after-work short dinners. She is such a nice and simple person to seek advice from, to hear about her life and to see how contented she is with everything she has, yet she is clear and firm about what she wants in life and her set of values.

I am also beginning to enjoy walking home from the train station every night as well as in the morning to work. Tune in to the music and just immerse myself into the moment. I feel free and happy. Its a very warm kind of feeling. The same kind of tranquility when I travel sometimes or when i just found solace in spending time and being with myself. I love this feeling. Totally!

You Made me day!!!

Thank you for pushing me so hard and not budging just to get me started!

I really almost cried and couldnt sleep the night before. AHAH.. And I went home determined no to think about it that day after work when i failed to get the discount for the spare part, a small part. I knew I had to get that spare part cos the yacht is waiting for me.

Had dinner with yao and sory for having to hear me whine.

I knew I had no better solution nor strategy. SO I went home to catch my DVD -20,30,40....to keep my mind off something which i can do nothing about at that point in time. At that instance, i really had no solution.

I dreaded my way to work the next day, knowing that I couldnt run away from calling the rude and fierce and firm guy. I went on to finish everything else except to call. Finally, I know I cannot give "no" as an answer to him. I had to call.

I looked at the clock - 2.40pm. I will call at 3.00pm
I procrastinated.
I looked at the clock - 3.30pm. I will call at 4:00pm.
I procrastinated.
I looked at the clock -4.20pm. I will call after a toilet break.

And after getting more advice from my fellow purchasing executives...

I called.

No matter what I cannot hang up until he gives me a discount.

And I did it. After holding on. After insisting that he gives me a cut. After listening to him crap. After I crap a lot more. and the final sentence which brought him to say what I wanted to hear was:

" I'm in a difficult position leh... Like that things are difficult for you and me!"

Yeah... This guy is a bloody attitude piece of shit by the way. He was all out to bully me. Giving me crap excuses about why the credit terms used to be 30 days and now he demands cash on delivery... Because WHY? HE said maybe that time it wasnt him though on every piece of document his name was written clearly there. And then he gave a very fake laugh and said maybe last time he was a good man, now he isnt.

Now I know why some of my colleagues are so angry and sometimes really firm and was telling people off. They deserve it. Just because im literally only 2 weeks on purchasing job.

And by the way, the dealings my company has with his company was always in terms of hundreds of thousands on average. And he refuse to cut $20 for me... and had to make life so difficult and give me crap.

ARRGGHH...

ANyway... as I was saying.. ahha.. If not for pushing me out of my comfort zone, I wouldnt have known that I could do it. He knew it was tough, he just wanted me to get a discount even if it was $2. HAha.. and after I settled the documents and everything, he sent an email to commend me and have it sent to my big big boss.

I was smiling away... At my lappy on this monday morning reading their comments. AHAHHA... Im really really happy to be here! I have the best bosses in the world!!

My HANDSOME CUTIE BABie...

Now WHO CAN RESIST looking at this handsome baby with such pretty eyes??? Think my sis will have a hard time in the future managing all his admirers.. perhaps a fan club. Goodness! Its ok, I think if she is not free I can help out. This baby is so active, playful, sweet and simply adorable. My Dyason!! I look forward to every weekend just to see him. HAha...

But I think I have been neglecting nelle... Hmm... think will bring her out soon and provide her with undivided attention and love. She has been a great Jie jie to baby all these while! She makes him laugh, takes care of him, and at least, i cant really tell that she is jealous of him. She understands. That's cool ain't it? For a 7-year old! Ok. Next week I will bring nelle out. WILL!!

Amy's Sweetie Pie is 1 year old!

The Raoul lady clan gathers in amy's place for the celebration of her beloved baby's one year old. Oops! For some strange reason, Amy isnt in the picture. I guess she was too busy PR-ing around. The dessert for the buffet was good. Its my favorite HARSIMA, in Cheng teng. And the key is really soft and its a perfect match with the blueberry jam inside. Yummy!

We met up with the rest of the peeps had a wacky time at ST James!!

Will post up pictures later on when they send it to me eventually! Ha!

20 30 40

I caught this show on International woman's day. Its a pretty nicely crafted show that sends one laughing and crying. I dun really like the way they portray the 20 here, i prefer the 30, and 40. But i like it anyway!

Shi Bible

I just Cleared my sleep debt for the week. Its GREAT to sleep in! In fact, its great to be able to fall asleep the moment you lie on bed and have yourself tucked well under the blanket. Hmm... speaking of which, Yao!! Must do something about your insomnia. I think it is getting a little out of hand. Like I said, I wouldnt mind passing my sleep debt to you, but the thing is, i guess you already have an assful of sleep debt to clear yourself... Hope you have a real peaceful sleep soon, in fact, i think a real simple sleep is all you need, otherwise, you might start showing signs of zombification, or not maybe you would start getting violent... AHahah...

Friday night is for sleeping, not for partying. Whoever goes out with me on a fri night would know certainly that I would end up with a very sleepy look, despite my desperate attempt to hide it. And if I go drinking on fri night.. AHAH.. if it is in a pub i think i can still hold a bit.. but if it is a club, and if I start to mix my drinks... I will just wanna sleep on the spot. SO??? Sat night is a better night for partying. Unlike most people, I do not have monday blues. Im most motivated and happy on mondays cos its the beginning of the week and I do not have any sleep debt incurred yet.

Im having problems with my contact lens. This new brand that im using now certainly sucks. Im not sure if I should get back the old brand or go get new ones. The thing is that shop that carries that particular housebrand is at bt batok. SO FAR!!! Will get it sorted out. Cos its crazy to have my vision blurred or to have to put on eye drops half the time im working on my lappie at work... looking at all the excel sheet and all the emails. Its a PURE TORTURE. And i guess it contributes to my sleepy look when i have uncomfortable lens.

Anyway... I LOV Saturdays!! My fav day of the week! I get to sleep in. I get to meet my family and hang out and catch up with my pretty niece and handsome nephew. I get to go out with friends. I get to wear what I like. I get to hang out late. I get to not have to think about anything, not even work! BEARY BEARY HAPPY ON SATURDAYS!!

Hmm... I dunno why is it that despite the fact that I have been eating quite a bit, I seemed to have lost weight. Not even talking about remaining the same here. I dunno what is wrong. Maybe im stressed up? But i dun think so leh? I have been more stressful b4. Will eat more! And exercise more too.

I have a lot to write. Arent you guys sick of reading my blog? I dun really like to read other people's long posts... HAHAh.. and here I am torturing you all!!

I would wanna have all these posts printed out and binded into a book. I guess can have a volume for every year. Then when im old I can show it to my grand daughter. She will be able to read about her grandma's life. AHAH.... COOL AIN'T IT? hahah

HAHAHA... Such kind of shit job in printing out my posts... woah... I tell U!!! I think I will consider marrying the GUY (Man and man only) who presents all my posts here to me in the different volumes, with nice cover etc...,, the SHI BIBLE.... Ok. I shall wait for the MAN to come. I think If I were to be a guy... Tsk tsk.. a lot of man out there will be sad! demoralised! depressed!! cos I think I would be a damn romantic guy and all of you guys will lose out to me. hhahaha... I wILL be the top 0.01 Percent!. What two percent? Insignificant la. Muahahah....

Ok. SHALL GO ENJOY MY SATURDAY.

Optimal Level

I guess this kind of happiness that I have right now is the true and sustainable happiness. This is the happiness at optimal level. I guess I shouldnt just think that Happiness is all about that extreme high level of excitment and adrenalin rush. That is not sustainable. That is transient.

This tranquility that I experience right now is good. I take things slowly, especially life. The slower pace of life I get now is good for my emotional and spiritual development. I guess that is one thing good about work when you dun have to bring them home. Cos time after work is totally mine..

Catch a DVD or two. Meet up with friends for a meal or two. Chat chat on the phone when someone calls. Go to class. Hang out with family on weekend.

I should be a happy KID.

Michael says we should be happy. There is nothing special about that. What is really cute is the way he preaches what he believes in. And he is quite a fun boss whom I totally respect for his experience, his expertise and they way he handles things. I like his style.

I don't know why

In dunno why Im still not happy with my life at this point in time.

Im missing something.

By right, I should be just contented with everything.

I realised that I have taken away the things that will make me real unhappy.

But I still havent found that thing that will make me happy.

The simplicity is somewhat a little to vanilla for me.

I should be glad that I dun really have much to shoulder now compared to a lot of people i know. Im blessed and very lucky to be given and to be having what I have right now.

But Im still not happy. Im not unhappy, but im not yet Happy.

Patience is bliss.

Announcements!

1. I would officially wanna have some GYM or Cadio/ Latin Jazz Buddie. Whoever is interested please contact me. My buddies are overseas, either that or busy working... SO, yup. CALL ME. EMAIL ME.
2. Can all those people who owes me pictures of me please send them to me. In particular, my blood donation picture and video, my MRT pics.. and ALL. You know who you ARE. I only want pictures of me in them. I dun want those without Me. Thank you!
3. Im sleepy now. Continue tom!

A touch of Zen

This is a fantastic show! The motivation to catch this show came when I remembered a few years ago, channel 8 was showing this shaolin kungfu cum theatre performance and I was totally taken away by the shaolin stunts. So When i chance upon the TV commercial just before CNY this year. I knew I had to watch it!

And because of my procrastination. I ended up not having the normal seats. I was only left with REstricted view sit. It was half the price and since I dun think I have another choice. I decided to STILL go ahead with my plans to catch the show.

MUahahah... I think it is really an experience to have watched the show the way i did. Rather, the way we did. HAAHHA... Mind you, this is inside Esplanade theatre!! But cos we were in the resticted view area, it also means that there was no one else behind us. SO???

I watched the whole show in various forms. I was standing sometimes when they were doing all the impressive and mouth-gaping stunts, kneeling on my seat, half squarting, when i really couldnt catch the characters when they decided to stay on the left side of the stage, and we were on the left side of the balcony, I had to half share wongso's seat with him. I think he was in an awkward position each time i went over. I think his ass was on the right arm rest, one leg on his seat, the other leg on the floor. HAHAHAAH....

Despite all these, we really enjoyed the show. Just that Now i know what are the restricted seats that CAN be taken and which are the ones that unless you really are dying to watch, you can forget it.

I think i wanna visit the shaolin martial arts school in Henan Province one day. See if they have any short courses. DAMN COOL lor.. they were flying in the air, and they even performed the different animal series of kungfu, there is the monkey, snake, eagle, frog... Totally impressive. They all jumped so so high, all the flying kicks, all the different sticks, weapons, and this soft metallic sword.

And they have the best visual arts i have seen so far. I really liked the way they arranged the lighting and for this particular scene. Very impressive. The music and drums were perfect!

One thing for sure, they definitely have to repair the stage floor after 2 days of this kungfu show and how they have been hitting the ground so hard with their sticks.

BEARY BEARY NICE SHOW!

Sorry, you guys missed it. Next year bah.. Im a kungfu freak!

OOOoooo

Great feeling!!

Pampering myself and loving myself to the max. OK. So i shall confess. I am officially addicted to manicure. Now i dun really care about my toes so much le. I think nicely painted finger nails have the ability to bring me happiness. Toes are further away. When i put on covered shoes, i dun even see them. Think I will go sign up some package soon. Im short listing J8's nail trek. This lady did a very perfect French mani for me. I loved it totally. Since my Facial is at Bishan also, and since bishan is not that far from my place. HAHa... Im really considering getting a package there. BUT wongso has to spoil it all by saying it looks like some liquid paper work!!!!

Its important to be smart. Its important to constantly upgrade our knowledge and skills. Its important to work hard. Its important to build a great career. All these are not to be done at the expense of our looks. In fact, once i totally get rid of those ugly things on my face, im going to aspire to be some HOT WORKING CLASS BABE. Its important. Now is the time to take care of my physique b4 it is too late. Since i cant very much put make up on my face now, im upgrading my wardrobe. That was wat all the shopping were for.

One piece of good news. Corporate Gym membership is coming. Heard that we might not even have to pay for it. It should be some tie ups with orchard hotel. That is going to be so cool. We can all go gym or swim together after work. Orchard hotel is just beside my office. Haha.. I hope they can implement that faster cos i really have been eating too much these days. Next week im going to be a health freak. Im going to bring my own Evergreen meal. AHHA.. I name it evergreen meal cos that is the breakfast i always make when i was staying in bkk.

Evergreen Breakfast:
Plain natural yoghurt
Diced fresh red apples
Honey stars

Milk. Juice. American Ginseng tea. Water. Fruits. Lots of greens.

Gym/Run/Learn bladding.

Hiap Seng.. You say you are going to teach me to blade ya? The moment I get hold of a pair... Im going to ring you up! That was what the vanilla vodka was for!

I think i will head to sentosa next weekend. I really miss the sea.

Work has been hectic. Im now finding my way round again cos im concurrently helping 2 departments. And I need to get used to the finance department but the work from there is intense and my current work load is increasing with the vendors starting to call me up. No time to slack or day dream. Need to work fast, think fast and at the same time be meticulous cos her expectation is high though her instructions are ambiguous. I have got to churn things out with excel fast. Put them nicely also using word. But its good practise and challenge. Im back to my sMU pace. Life is more interesting this way. I would rather have no time for anything.

I have resumed my subscription with Hollywoodclicks. Currently watching:

1. The story of Paul - The apostle.
2. 天上人间

I love movies!! Nobody wants to watch EPIC movie with me. WHY? I wanna catch the new horror movie for sure. But im not sure if i should watch this genre of movie with him. Hmm.. Let me think about it.

Miss dancing. Miss clubbing. But I shall only wait for the babes..

I miss LIFE

Oooohhh... U need to STOP ME FROM SHOPPING!!!

ARRGGGHh... But how to resist the temptation leh? The whole orchard road is having sales...
Besides, I never shop much during CNY. And I guess the desire was suppressed to a point that I became a shopaholic these days. Haha...

Clothes, shoes. More clothes, more clothes.

My trip to Macau and HK is pretty much firmed up already. Yay.. Darryl will be there too to do his internship! Haha.. And Darryl!! All I ask for is a sleeping bag space. Sy, its not that I dun wanna leech on you, but i understand that since you are staying in ya uni dorm, and that you have a sucky roommate, I would definitely complicate matters if I just intrude the highly tensed up situation back there. Besides, the period of time when im going to be there also going to be the time when you are going to move out of ya hostel... MEANING: You would have a lot of packing to do, and no space for me. BUT in the event that ya roomie is leaving HK for home earlier.. Please let me know!! SO.. DARRYL!!!! DUN think you can ran away! But I think I can let you leech on my accomodation in macau if you wanna come. AHAH. Im excited about this trip cos I know you guys can just bring me to the right place and do the right shopping, get the cheapest deals and what nots.. haha..

IN RETURN:

I shall offer to be the tour guide for you all in BKK. I will definitely wanna go back to bkk this year. I will also make sure that I go back to Koh Larn. The best beach I have ever seen. Nearest to Bangkok. And this time Im not going to stay in mosquito infested tents. Im going to stay in the nice boat house kind of place. WOAH... Its going to be damn romantic also lor... If I happen to find my Mr right b4 that.. It would be an exceptionally great experience!! I am looking forward to travelling with the love of my life. Each time when i travel and see the world, its always good to have someone there to share, enjoy and witness the spectacular experiecnce together. Sy and JY have been good buddies... But I wanna know what it is like to be travelling with a potential life partner. Its OK. I will wait for the right one to come. I already have some qualities in mind that I know I will not compromise. Having been through both a long long relationship and a short short one, I have a good idea of what makes a rel work and what doesnt. So if things are not going to work out dun waste time.

I REALLY wanna go visit JY soon. I really cant wait man. We have made a pact. To meet up and travel one country every year. To meet at the international airport of some country. That would be great!! JY, the next time I am sent to my yard in china, I will SURELY stopover Seoul. And after that, when im going to travel there again, lets meet in shanghai or beijing. Slowly but surely, we will cover asia.

Im looking at a possible Europe trip by the end of next year. I wanna go leech on my friends in Europe before they all graduate. AHAH.. MAybe ASMA!!! you will be the first reason for me to start my Europe trip. I Cant wait to attend ya wedding!!! Wow... Send invitation to June, Pum too... SO we can all gather in Belgium!! or was it Amsterdam?
Teija, June, Pum, Jy, Shi, Asma!! TAda....

I will then go Dublin, Rotterdam, Munich, finland... (You all know who you are lah...) Yes.. One sleeping bag space is all I ask for. But if you can afford to gimme a room, with a nice comfy bed. I wouldnt mind. Thanks!

But all these dreams can only come true if I save enough. SO I SHOULDNT SHOP SO MUCH ANYMORE!!!!

I really miss the sun, the sand, the sea, Jy, and SY.

Im addicted to the maritime industry.

Resurrected!

Love

"I have a dream..."
"A song to sing..."

Hmm... I wanna vacate.
I miss the solitude.
I miss the closeness.
I miss the freedom.

I wanna share my dream.
I wanna share your dream.
To swim the deepest sea, to climb the highest mountains.
When nothing else in the world mattered.
Cos the greatest happiness says it all.

No regrets.

One life.

Love.