Was a little depressed lately. Cos things seem rather bleak. A lot of different aspects of my life didnt quite work out and yesh... I sort of cried myself to sleep last night. I went to bed early, but still I cant sleep. It was an utter disappointment but things are not within my control. I have already done all that I can. And I had a nightmare after that... With mummy... being very very angry with me... for I was defying her and I was crying and crying in my dreams... SIGH.
But its ok now. Im contented with my life now. Once again. Im blessed to be given what I have at this point in time. I shall treasure it and make the best out of it. With regards to my career path.. I see the light.
With regards to work... I see the workload ahead. But, Im happy to feel and get busy once again. I used to complain a lot about not having enough time to sleep, to relax, due to the hectic lifestyle. YOu know what? I cant stand a lifestyle that is too free... AS in like when there is nothing much to do, not much challenges and motivation to keep my day going. AND SO, im happy now.
Wongso told me something about me. It made sense and yup.. haha.. I think there is good and bad in me being like that. I guess I will just have to keep it more good than bad. Thank you you Pai Kaa Boy and sy for listening to me whine and whine... and complain.
AHHA... And chris.. and tracy.. how you guys say reading my blog gives you heart attack. I can be extremely motivated in one entry and totally depressed in another. OK.. Ok.. I will try to keep myself going at an optimal level. HAAH... But that's life mah... full of ups and downs isnt it?
Im trying to adjust myself to my new life. I know and see what I want now. Hmm.. Whether I can get it or not and perhaps I might change my mind after a while. But it doesnt matter cos what matters is now... what matters is the kind of motivation I have now to keep me going.
Really grateful to be have the 3 shipbroker instructors. All the advice that they give not only clears my doubt, it was also an encouragement so strong, I see better what I am in at this point in time and also what lies ahead. It's that ray of hope that is so strong and so addictive.
Not giving up.. no matter how tough im not giving up!!
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