I hate it when...

• I begin to doubt myself, question my faith and begin to wonder what is it exactly that I am holding on to...
• I would like to work something out but it seems like I am ALL ALONE
• things are going out of my control and I get frustrated and no matter what I do or how hard i try, Im like just banging my head on the wall... The wall doesnt move, nothing changed. And Im only left with pain and hurt. Dun i look stupid? Trying to move the wall. Its doesnt matter if it is my head, my hand or my ass.. The wall is not moving... when I sincerely believed that it will move, at least, that it can move.
• I have no time to read books. I mean books as in books for leisure.. not for school. Im stuck once again at this juncture of my life. Reached another limit. Cannot go on for now. I need new inspiration and ideas plus solutions. I cannot be the one identifying the problem and at the end of the day give solutions when the problem wasnt just my own to begin with. I have utterly run out of ideas as to what I can do, should do or even what I cannot do and shouldnt do. Once again.. I feel ALL ALONE.

SO... I should leave everything that is not within my control out and just dun care about it right? Focus on what I can do and is within my control cos obviously my trying to do something about it isnt working.

Im like the only fool fretting away. At least I feel like one.

How I wished I hadnt hold such strong dreams and belief.

Life will definitely be easier.