Lost

Funny aint it. I actually feel lost back in SG.

Maybe this was all due to the fact that I was swarmed by a huge load of work before i even caught my breath and I know I have a tight deadline to work with and I must clear as much as I can before i fly off again next week.

HMMM!!!

During the 2 weeks that i was away, other than my boss, and my mom, only 1 person called me every now and then to chat, tell me about the person's day and hear me talk about my day. & other than my boss and my mom, only 1 other person, same person as the one i mentioned earlier smsed me to see if I was ok. I appreciate that. I appreciate that big time. I have a China mobile and incoming is free for me and when im away working and every night alone in the hotel room, I leapt with joy when I get to talk to someone close from home.

Whatever the case, I look forward to my next trip.

Cant wait to get away again.

It hurts most when the reason and excuse that I used to pacify and console myself is no longer made available and I have to swallow and accept things which, deep inside, I know, I have reached another limit. This is not how I want my life to be. This is not what I expect things to be. It is at the end of the day, an utter disappointment. Time and time again I tried to change, I tried to run away, I tried to protect myself, I ignore, I fight, and looking at now, I know, it's all in vain. I do not want myself to suffer, at least, not in this way.

Im on the verge of giving up again.