Every breath she took was like a half normal breath.
She struggled through each breath using all the remaining lung and stomach strength.
When she took half a second break in between each breath, and her chest stopped expanding for that moment, my heart stopped too, fearing that those balloons would not work again.
And that anticipation certainly pushed me out of my comfort zone.
The greyish face colour. The sunken cheeks. The half opened eyes. All the results of the morphine.
She wanted to speak. No words came out. The best she could do was to move her lips and lift her right hand. That was all.
We ccouldnt make out what she wanted. Neither could we understand what she needed.
Holding her lightly chilled hands, tears welled up my eyes.
I tried to keep it down. But that one drop escaped. I had to wipe it away fast, not allowing myself to let her see me tear.
The anticipation took away every bit of composure within me. As much as I do not want to see her suffer so much, I feared that she did not make it to the next second.
I look at my life now.
Shall not hold back anything anymore. There is nothing worth worrying or upset about.
Love should be expressed, enjoyed and not suppressed. Life is just so unpredictable we just have to live each moment as if it was the last.
As I was lamenting about giving and giving the last entry, I think I would stick to it once again. It doesnt matter if I do not receive anymore. I shall lead a life with me giving the best of me to everyone around.
We never will know when that opportunity may become a luxury.
I take a deep breath, feeling really blessed that I can do so effortlessly.
And I am thankful for each of the next second that comes along, for me to build and fulfill my dreams and to share the greatest love with the people around.
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