vacation...

I dunno how to put my thoughts into words right now. I have been thinking lots lately. This flu bug has given me a big time out from things. Anyway... I treasure whatever i do and whatever i have right now. Lots of things turn out to be different from what i expected. I think i shouldnt rush into things. I should give up some of my dreams for now. I am sure that i will be able to fulfill them one day, not at the expense of anyone. Maybe in that way, i know for sure, that my dream has finally come true. I will hold on to them still. Real tightly. And i will never let go.

Im going to graduate in dec... that is like less than a year from now. What will i be doing then? Finance and marketing majors... where do i exactly belong? Why isnt there a major on like food? I havent really found my anchor point for now. Also, after going for this career talk in Chula, i begin to think about further studies after my degree. Maybe i should go get a masters. Im not sure if i will want an MBA. Cos i think i should go into something more specialised. How time flies yeah... Almost all my life i have wanted to be a doctor. Three years ago i was forced to take a different path. I know this is the second best alternative that i have right now. I am not regretting anything. SMU opened me up to the world, to myself and I am really grateful for all the training, teachings, experiences and the life and people i meet in this uni. I have this inkling in me to get back to sciences again though... Maybe i will consider a psycology masters. I think i have to really look into all the options that is open at this point of time. Also, i think i need to go open up more.

Im feeling kind of emotional now cos im watching this really simple but touching movie on HBO. I really dare say at this point of time that i am totally recharged. Everything happened for a reason. And i know that this flu bug wants me to pay more attention to my body and i will. Next week when im well, im going to hit the pool and the gym at this apartment. Mummy is paying so much for this and i shall make the full use of the facilities as long as i am here.

Im going to study and gain as much as i can from the professors here. I will play as much as my body and soul can take and nothing more. I will not let mummy worry about me cos i think that all these while, my love for her has always surpassed what i have for myself... even if it means i cant really travel to many places..

Chinese New year is around the corner... it really makes me home sick... missing everyone in the family. Just last year, i was thinking... why is it that I am no longer looking forward to CNY. I remembered how when we were young, my siblings and I were always so excited about CNY. IT just gets less exciting each year. Right now, im beginning to appreciate it a lot more and in a different light. I miss the majjong sessions with my mum and sis... oh... i hope jeff is kind enough to share with me a few pieces of the Lim Chee Guan BAh kwa that he brought all the way from Singapore.

Skippy peanut butter... skippy is the one...