Still lost

You wouldnt believe this. Maybe this is fate.
I was at the cafe in YT, China at 7pm on 26th.
I was having dinner and then furiously typing the essay(max 500 words) and my work scope (max 2000 words). Dinner took about 2 hours, and by 11.10pm, I was ready to complete my application. Even though i was given a cable, I still could not connect to the internet. No choice, I had to go back to the guesthouse.

I reached the guesthouse at 1120pm and immediately after i plugged in the cable, I got internet.

I logged on to the online application, wanting to complete it. Then when i refreshed the page, I was told that the online application is closed. That was 1130pm. I refreshed twice. Same result. I thought oh well, then i should just send an email to them to state my case.

I didnt receive a reply the next day nor the day after. When I reach beijing the day after, I logged on to my mail and to my horror, I realised that the email that I thought I sent wasnt even in my sent box.It wasnt sent. In anycase, I sent them another email.

The next day, back in SG in the office, I gave them a call to ask if they had received my mail cos there was no reply.

The person asked me for my name and then later she told me, oh, she had spoken to the supervisor and checked with IT. The system was working fine and it only closed at 1159. And there was nothing they could do to reverse the application system. NOTHING THEY COULD DO. So? She told me to apply next year.

I wasnt upset over the fact that I cant apply this year because even if I got an acceptance, I would ask for deferment as my job doesnt allow me to not travel, at least not in the near 6 months. And I would not sacrifice my job or let it be affected in a negative way because of my masters.

But I wasnt convinced with the way my case was handled. No replies. And I told her I tried to log on at 1130 but it showed online application was closed. Her reply was, that's why we dun advice candidates to apply last minute. Firstly, if your closing date and time is 26th Sep 1159, you keep to that and you my rights to apply exist till 1159. Secondly, she just contradicted herself when she said a lot of people still manage to submit application via the system on 26th.

I was plain sway i suppose.

And Im disappointed with the way she handled me. Afterall, its service we are talking about here.

At the end of the day, i realised that you dont always only pay a price to find out what you really want. I paid a price this time, to find out what I do not want. At least, not now.

It's 3:10 am now. And I finally finished unpacking my luggages and wardrobe. I know that when Im really in for something, I would hold on to it right to the end. I looked back at the application, I am beginning to have a clearer picture. MAybe I was plain sway, maybe it was just the customer service person who decided not to do anything more, whatever the case, I guess in the midst of this blur, I shouldnt commit.

Anyway, Im still waiting for that little voice inside me to point me to somewhere...