Fighting on

Teared a bit on the phone.

I guess the lack of sleep had a great part to play. I mean I stayed up pretty late these days to blog, surf net and do things which i enjoy. Cos if I dun, very soon I will be back in China and it's a tad different over there so I am trying to maximize my time here.

At work, I was loaded with 1 huge portolio and I have to take on another 0.8 of a portfolio because one colleague is leaving. On hand in total, I have 3 big portfolios and 2 small ones. Im serving 2 directors and 1 CFO. Everything is urgent. And I have to fly back to China because there is another handover to settle otherwise the mess wont get better and my huge ass portfolio cannot move on properly. I am halfway through sorting out the files. There are two thick stacks of policies to read. These are excluding the main contracts of all the projects. How and where do I get the time. Plus i need to get ready for the survey which has to happen in end feb or early march.

I am stress because I hate the feeling of not having a good grasp of what is happening. But I need time and it takes time. And I hate the feeling of me not being able to perfect my work the way I wanted it.

And I still want to meet up with all my friends and family cos im going to be away for like another 1.5 months.

Somewhere deep inside I want to fight on. I want to juggle everything and juggle everything well. I can do it. I do not need anyone's help.

As much as I teared I refuse to admit defeat.

I will fight the battle.

I didnt like the way the conversation ended. It ended because you were in a hurry, not because I was alright.