Not Happy

I need sleep. Badly.

Im not really happy at this point of time. Im not sure if it was the weather, the lack of sleep, the work stress, the constant expectations management that I have to do for both others and myself, my inability to put across how I feel properly, the fact that I havent packed and the fact that I cant bring myself to pack, the uncertainty that lies ahead, the fact that gaps and differences are surfacing, or simply the because I havent spent enough ME time these days.

I feel that I have neglected myself. I havent been tending to my needs and havent been listening to that inner voice too.

I am really drained emotionally.

Thank you for talking to me on the phone while you were at the platform waiting for the train. And because you wanted to make sure that I get the advise that I need, you ignored the fact that 10 trains have passed. You just continued talking to me, explaining to me, listening to me, and just rationalising to me why I feel unhappy. I really appreciate that.

You said Icant always just load up issues in my heart and when I reach the saturation point, I sink into some mini depression and would require immediate and intense consultation to empty the load before I can move on again.

I would like to, and I am learning to unload as issues surface, not keep them within me until I reach my threshold. It is not easy because this is my character and I have been programmed to think and lead my life this way. It's time for change.

It's time to do a major overhaul of things at this juncture.

I need a break badly.