WHY?

Why am I even awake at 3:17am?

SIGH.

The last beverage i drank other than water was Star Buck's steam milk! No caffeine what? Something is very wrong. Was it because i didnt take the cough syrup?

Was it because the thoughts deep inside are fundamentally stirring an emotional storm?

Was it because CC isnt around?

Was it because as I meet up with my gfs, I begin to realise the kind of sacrifices i have been making with all the travelling in place? I cant sign up for gym for the classes. I cant sign up for ANY OTHER CLASSES. I begin to feel more and more distant from my relatives. I dun really feel like talking as much, only to the few people im close to.

Was it because I have been taking my antibiotics irregularly?

Was it because I have 3 emails in my draft folders of my personal email that I should have sent out tonight but didnt?

Was it because I have so called reached a saturation point? All I want, need and yearn for at this point in time.. was to lay on the sandy white beach, occasionally opening up my eyes to be greeted by this breath-taking deep blue or turqoise seawater... and just lay there, nothing to worry abt, nothing to think abt.

Why am I not happy in my home country? And I also dread going back to that place?

SIGH